The Stars We Live By
by Aquarius Galuxy
Summary: Fai wants to run. He really does. But the one thing he knows, is that if he bolts right now, he'll never get Kurogane's help fixing his children. [kurofai]
1. Rust

**Written for the 2016 KuroFai Olympics.** Prompt: "These are not the droids you're looking for."

Very special thanks goes to _lilfoodmonster_ , the _husband_ , and _Blossom_ for their support and feedback through this period! Also a thank you to everyone else who has cheered me on along the way! :D From the outline I had, I was definitely not expecting this fic to explode like it did... but you know me and long fics, lol.

 **Warnings:** Suicide ideation, Loss of body parts, Body issues, Self-esteem issues, Illness, Discrimination, Violence, Mentions of death, Space

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and its characters do not belong to me. My writing does, however.

* * *

 **The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 1: Rust**

"Come on now, Syaoran. Get further back. Two more meters. _Yes!_ There, behind that rock. Good. Are you both ready?"

Fai Fluorite glances at his children—one hunched over twenty meters to the left, behind a towering bolder, the other on his right, crouched down flat in the tall grass next to him, hands over her short neck—and makes his decision. The rock shielding himself and Sakura is large enough, streaked through with vertical black cracks, and it watches over them as he covers Sakura's smooth metal back with his own body, tucking his head over hers.

"Executing blast sequence in—three, two, one!"

He does not allow himself to hesitate when he pushes the button. There is an explosion, a soundless gust of sweeping winds and dust blowing all around them, and his throat closes.

Within the stillness of his suit, he hears echoes of other explosions, thinks about the tiny body curled beneath his instead, and touches his helmet to her head. The clink of metal on fiberglass is grounding; Sakura reaches out for his hand, holds it, and Fai listens to the stream of pop music she sends through the radio feed.

 _Think think think of me whenever you're feeling down_

He cracks a smile at the lyrics, ignores the itch in his leg. "Thank you, Sakura," he says. "Flower baby."

"Am I really a flower baby?" Her voice rings through his headset, warm and bright and clear, and Fai grins for real, this time.

"Yes, of course you are," he tells her fondly.

"Sakura is the best flower princess," Syaoran chimes in from his own radio.

When Fai looks up from the gritty sand and tiny rocks between wide, flat blades of grass, dregs of red dust are trailing away from them, into the flat, distant horizon. He pulls away from Sakura, cautiously peering around their rock to observe the destruction. "Can you give me a reading on a sample, Syaoran?"

From the base of his red-dusted boulder, Syaoran gets to his feet in a single fluid motion, takes certain steps out onto the debris-strewn field. A spot on his dark visor flashes green. Fai waits, watches the droid as his chunky legs bring him through swaying yellow grass to the hollowed hillside before them. The hill is tall, maybe five times Fai's height (and Fai is regarded as one of the tallest people on the Station), one in a series of connected hills that run across the prairie on Planet XS4695-beta. Above, a pink-yellow sky stretches over them, cloudless, and it feels as though they're very tiny and insignificant in this expanse of space.

Like all the other times they've been through this process, Syaoran pulverizes a fist-sized rock sample in an ultrasonic chamber he's brought along. Fai picks his way over with Sakura, crouches down by Syaoran so he can look them both in the visor.

A minute later, the report from Syaoran comes in: "Sandstone at 56.7%. Bornite at 15.4%. Sphalerite at 10.3%. EEA at 5.3%..."

Something lifts in Fai's chest. This is the highest concentration of EEA they've found to date; it is a rare material, and with any luck, things will finally look up for him when they get back to the Station. "Do a bio-threat scan," he interrupts, his voice high and breathless. "As well as the rest. Sakura, get the sample box ready."

The droid on his other side moves. Like Syaoran, she's tiny and humanoid, coming up to Fai's hips when he stands. Droids on the Clow Station are built this way: heavy on the feet and torso, lighter on the limbs and head. Fai doesn't really believe it when people say they're painted white for neutrality. It really is more of a cleanliness thing, when it's easier to inspect the droids for spills, damage... Maybe it's because they blend in to the stark whiteness of the Station's interior.

Fai stops thinking about that.

Instead, he takes the clear sample box from Sakura and steps over to where the best selection of shattered rock is. The lab prefers smaller chunks for convenient study, so he looks over the jagged pieces for ores with the highest visible mineral content. "Sakura, return to the Sparrow and await further instructions. Be careful!"

"Will do," she hums over the radio.

Fai watches her slow trek across the landscape to where the ship lies docked along the foot of another hill, thirty meters away. With its pointed nose and flat wings, Little Sparrow is the most apt name for it. The Station's Commander rejected Fai's renaming request, though, so it remains The Voyager on Station records, and "Sparrow" in Fai's tiny circle.

"0.00% trace of microorganisms," Syaoran reads, visor blinking green. "0.00% trace of parasites and other multicellular organisms."

"Good," Fai breathes. The little bubble of excitement in his chest threatens to overwhelm him. With this much EEA... "Keep scanning. Sakura, initiate the air jet. That was a lot of dust on everyone. We don't need more complaints from the cleaning crew, now, do we?"

"Nope!" Her voice is quieter from this distance. Fai sees Sakura step beneath a wing-mounted engine, hears the loud swoosh of air over her microphones. He turns her feed down, circles the jagged pieces of red rock torn from the steep hill. A casual survey shows no visual discrepancies; he picks up a smaller piece, studies the lines of black streaking through striated red stone. Held certain ways, the black ore gleams a beautiful purple-blue, and Fai thinks about stashing a sample for himself. It would be so _pretty_ in his collection.

He hefts the rock for weight, gives it a once-over to make sure there're no visible bugs, and sets it carefully into the sample case instead.

Sakura flies the ship over in minutes. Fai gathers Syaoran close to himself, steadies the droid with a hand to his back so he doesn't fall over when the ship engines gust nearby, covering them in yet more dust. When the wind settles, Fai wipes dust off the front of his helmet, does the same for Syaoran's visor with the back of his glove.

"All systems set and ready for takeoff," Sakura announces in his ear.

It doesn't take long for Fai and Syaoran to board the ship. Once the sample box is secured in place, and once the locking systems are engaged, Sakura takes them up and out through the atmosphere, towards the next planet on the list.

x  
x

Two days later, they're docked back on the Station. Fai doesn't miss this place when they go on their week-long missions, not really. The Clow Station is huge, self-sufficient, full of people and droids, and Fai feels better being away from all of them.

But a job is a job, and he has to deliver these samples.

"In another lifetime, I think Sakura can be the princess of a city," Syaoran says behind him, still strapped into the third pilot's seat.

"In another lifetime, I think Syaoran can be my prince," Sakura answers from her own seat.

Fai doesn't look away from checking off his sample boxes, but he grins.

"I will drive Princess Sakura around in a carriage."

"No, I will drive Prince Syaoran around in a carriage."

"But Fai says I should be gentlemanly."

"Fai says girls have equal rights as boys."

"You both can take turns," Fai tells them, holding down his laughter as best as he can. "Have you been reading 'Princess of the City', Sakura?"

Sakura nods, unstrapping herself from her seat. She lands on the cockpit floor with two heavy thumps, and Syaoran is quick to follow, keeping close to her now that they aren't on a mission.

"I liked Princess Aldi," Sakura says. "But her Prince Charming was not nice."

"Oh?" Checks complete, Fai unstraps the sample boxes, walking around the Sparrow's narrow interior for a last scan before he hands it over to the cleanup crew.

It's far less cold and empty in the ship with the children around, he thinks. Even if Syaoran and Sakura are tiny compared to the tall corridors, and even if there are only the three of them in a space long enough to fit a bus. Despite the years they've spent in this ship, the inside of the Sparrow remains hardly decorated; the passageway is free of clutter, the walls are empty sheets of sturdy metal, outfitted with collapsible shelving and bunk beds for long-haul missions.

"Why do you say he wasn't nice?"

"He was rude," she says immediately. "Unlike Syaoran."

If droids could blush, Fai is certain that Syaoran would. As it is, his son flashes two spots of red on his visor, and Fai is delighted to no end. "Would you rather read something else, Sakura?"

Her hands swivel up and down; her equivalent of a shrug. "I don't know. I learn something new with all of them."

"Same here," Syaoran chips in.

"More books on love poems, Syaoran?" Fai says.

Syaoran nods. "I can write poems now."

Fai sets the sample boxes down on the floor beside them, torn between asking Syaoran for a quick demonstration, and getting them ready to go. They have a minute before they're due out.

He decides to be safe. Fai ducks down into a crouch, faces his children. "Okay. I want to hear a poem tonight, Syaoran. Can you do that?"

Syaoran bobs his head again.

"Good! Now, give me a hug, both of you." His children shuffle in close, rounded feet bumping against his thighs, and Fai throws his arms around them both, pulling them close. "You guys are the best," he whispers.

"We love you," they chorus, solid, steady hands on his back.

"Right." Fai glances at the time display on the cockpit, pulls a face, and sighs. "MokoScript, deactivate."

They don't feel any different in his arms, not really. There is no blue light flashing when the program switches to standby, and they are frozen around him now, like puppets awaiting a command. Fai slips away from them, touches gentle fingers to the stickers beneath their chins. Seeing them like this fills him with great sadness and guilt; they are children, and they should be allowed to run around and play. Not be strung up like that.

It's only when he leans in close to inspect a scratch that he sees the spots on them, faint, pinprick points of something black on the pure white of their bodies. Dirt? The spots do not go away with a swipe of his thumb, and not even when he scrapes a nail over them. Rust?

Fai frowns. He rocks back on his heels and issues a command: "1143G and 2315A, report to Fai Fluorite's sleeping quarters at 2300 hours tonight."

Both droids flash green on their visors. Fai fills their hands with sample boxes; two each for the droids, six for himself, and leads them out of the Sparrow.

Outside, the air pressure has equalized, and the low buzz of machines fills his ears. The constant background noise of the Station is vastly different from the empty silence of space, or the roar of his ship. Along the edges of the hangar, droids wait to begin work on the Sparrow. They are white against white walls, with dark visors to indicate their presence—almost forgotten, but not quite. Fai flashes his ID at the hangar exit, waits for the reader to beep, and strides through the parting maws of the doorway, his two assigned droids at his heels.

He passes the occasional staff on the Station. No one really greets him, or smiles, and that is fine. He keeps his head down, sample boxes tucked beneath his arms like a hen with chicks, and heads towards the research labs, his pulse kicking up when he thinks about the potential of the samples he's got.

With any luck, these samples will gain the Commander's approval, and Fai will be able to quickly repay the debt sitting on his shoulders, maybe even earn kind glances his way again.

x

* * *

x

His eyes flick over the lines of the too-bright computer screen, roving faster as he nears the end of the article. By the last few paragraphs, Youou Kurogane isn't even reading anymore. He's hitting "Print" and throwing his arms in the air, thanking the powers that watch over them.

"What's up?" Two desks over, his colleague throws a disinterested glance over his shoulder, before resuming his riffle through the supply cabinet. "You sure we have copper sulfate? I don't see any here."

"Check my bench," Kurogane answers. He leaps to his feet, crossing the few paces to one of the remaining inkjet printers on the Station. When the printer spits the last sheet out, whirring and cranking, he grabs the entire set, hurrying over to Touya to wave it in his face. "Look at this! Look!"

"What?" Touya looks. "Oh."

"Not just 'Oh'," Kurogane retorts, waving the pages so they flop back and forth. "It's a new law on the damn AIs! Free rein to search anywhere if you suspect their presence! No warrants needed."

"There _are_ no more AIs," Touya says, deadpan. "We made sure of that 10 years ago. Hell, I don't think there's any within a thousand light-years of the Aquarius galaxies."

"So you say," Kurogane mutters darkly. "If you aren't careful, these bastards'll sneak up on you and slit your throat. You'll be dead before you can say 'No more AIs'."

"Geez, thanks." Touya punches his shoulder. "C'mon, hand over your copper sulfate so I can get back to work already."

Kurogane glares at him. Sure, Touya's kind of cute and they've kind of dated, and he really doesn't mind having a fellow Japanese (the only other) on board, but the jerk can really be an idiot sometimes. Kurogane stalks over to his bench, sweeps a critical eye over his tidy plastic bottles, and lobs the right one at Touya's head.

"Hey!" With an admirably quick reflex, Touya catches the bottle before it hits him in the eye. In another life, he'd have been a soccer star, maybe. In this life, they're both scientists, and _damn_ if Kurogane doesn't hate his job. "Damn you, Kurogane."

"Damn yourself." Kurogane turns his back on Touya, ignores the prickle of those eyes staring at him, and goes to pin the sheets of the new AI law on the lab notice board.

"No one's going to see that," Touya calls from across the lab. "The words are way too fucking tiny."

"Not my fault your eyesight is shit." Kurogane goes back to his computer to print a larger version of the pages. Except the settings on his computer refuse to work, and he has to copy the entire thing onto a word program, enlarge the text, and print it from there. "There, font size 70. Can you see it now?"

Touya gives him a dismissive wave. Kurogane flips him off.

He's in the middle of sticking plastic thumbtacks through the last sheet when the lab doors slide open, smooth and quiet.

The man who walks in is a familiar one—blond, blue-eyed, tall (just about as tall as Touya, but shorter than Kurogane), in a green-grey uniform. Kurogane knows vague details about him, like he's always on sample collection missions in the galaxies further away, that his samples, more often than not, aren't very good at all, that people like Touya would rather not speak to him if they don't have to.

Kurogane glances at his colleague, who has his back steadfastly turned to the door, and sighs. "Put your samples in that corner." He gestures vaguely. "Don't knock anything down."

"I don't knock anything down," Fai Fluorite says brightly, a grin stretched across his face so fake that Kurogane doesn't know why he even bothers. "But please could you start on sample 9504 first? It's got a 5% reading on EEA."

"We're out of methanol," Touya says without turning around. "No silver either. Can't process any of that right now."

Fluorite's grin slips. Kurogane sees it, does not comment.

Fluorite's interest in EEA is understandable. EEA is a metallic compound that can be refined to produce the material so critical for metal-to-nerve connections—the very thing that gives cyborgs fluid movement at all. Kurogane hears it in the step of Fluorite's gait; the heavy thump of one foot, and the light pat of the other.

Fluorite is a cyborg, the most disliked one on the Station. Kurogane doesn't know how much of him was replaced—there are rumors, of course, the guy wears enough to cover everything he can—but it isn't his business, and it's not like the guy jumped his sister's queue on medical treatment. Unlike how it is for Touya, which is why Kurogane puts up with talking to him, but Touya doesn't. Kurogane had a sister, once—

Something clatters to the floor, clanging like lightweight metal, and across the cluttered lab, Fluorite flinches. Touya swears beneath his breath. Kurogane sighs again. He watches as Fluorite ducks down between steel-topped benches, between the photospectrometer and various retort stands bearing samples in glass flasks. A second later, the blond straightens, holding up the fallen apparatus with a smile that's more a grimace. Kurogane waves him on.

Fluorite sets the samples on the side counter without any further incident. The two droids are still dogging his heels when he approaches the lab exit, where Kurogane stands by the latex notice board, spare thumbtacks in his palm.

Blue eyes flicker over the angry black words of the new AI law. They widen by a fraction. Fluorite looks back at Kurogane, tries to smile again, and fails.

"You should stop trying to smile," Kurogane says. But at least _someone_ saw the new law, other than him. He's proud of that.

Fluorite winces. "Well, I had no idea that AIs are still around," he says brightly. "Are you going to be a cyber-vigilante of some sort? Yoohoo, I'll cheer you on!"

There's always something off about him, so Kurogane accepts his reaction as the set of things that make Fluorite weird. Like he really needs more reason to push him away, because this guy is just too pretty for his own good, and Kurogane doesn't need him in his lab. Or anywhere else nearby, really.

"Yeah, well, get going if you're done," he answers, turning away so he can deposit the thumbtacks at his desk.

The doors slide shut, and Fluorite and his droids are gone.

"I don't trust that guy," Touya says over the low hum of the machines around them. His knuckles are white, his eyes narrowed.

Kurogane doesn't, either, but Touya doesn't need to hear it.

He returns to his work with a reluctant sigh.

x

* * *

x

At precisely 2300 hours, the intercom at Fai's door buzzes. Fai looks up from the tools he pulled out of his desk, sets them down on the large, clear sheet of plastic spread out across his floor. "Who goes there?"

"Droids 1143G and 2315A reporting," comes the flat monotone across the speaker.

"Permission granted," Fai answers.

The locks disengage with a quiet snap. A second later, the door slides open, and the droids thump steadily in the room, waiting just by the inside of the doorway for further instruction.

Fai waits for the door to slide fully shut, for the locks to engage once more, before he says, "MokoScript, activate."

Just like that, a spot of sky-blue winks on each of their visors. Their heads perk up, and Sakura shakes the stiffness out of her little body. Syaoran looks immediately towards Fai.

"Welcome back," he tells them, spreading his arms out with relief. They're fine. Nothing's happened to them while they were gone. As one, his children plod forward, skirting around the various tools to return his hug. "I missed you guys."

"We would have missed you if we were conscious between Sparrow and here," Sakura says over his shoulder, her tone very slightly reproachful.

"It's safer that way," Fai and Syaoran answer at the same time. It's a habitual response by this point; Fai almost thinks he should have programmed her to be slightly more cautious, but so far, it's only resulted in her being funnier than Syaoran. "Besides, if you rewind your recordings to about 1600 hours, you'll see that a new law was introduced while we were gone."

The droids are silent as they scan through the footage from their cameras.

"Kurogane looks happier," Sakura says. "Usually he's a grump."

Fai huffs. "Fast forward to the notice board. I think that's what he was happy about."

Syaoran is the first to flash two yellow lights, distressed. "A warrantless search? For AIs?"

The sinking feeling is back in his chest, and Fai pulls Syaoran closer, guiding Sakura onto the floor beside him. His children do not protest as they follow his nonverbal cues, sitting quietly where he leaves them. "You see now, don't you?" Fai says softly. "We can't afford mistakes. I cannot lose you guys, do you understand?"

"We won't make mistakes," Sakura tells him indignantly, flashing red.

"It's just— People aren't kind to AIs, Sakura. They'll take any chance they get to say bad things about you. I don't want you to get hurt, or angry that they're saying things like that."

"I'm allowed to feel." Those words were a direct lesson from him, and Fai does not miss the irony.

He plugs the drill into the wall socket, pulls his goggles down over his eyes and a mask over his nose, and begins work on the miniscule spots on Syaoran's body. "You are. I'd just rather not have you so angry that you forget yourself. Everyone else thinks you're ordinary droids."

Sakura makes a little impatient noise, gets to her feet, and begins to pace.

"Don't walk where there's no plastic sheet," Fai says without looking away from the sander attachment on his drill. It presses down on the little black spots on Syaoran's chest, there and gone, rust and paint grinding off to reveal the darker metal of Syaoran's chest plate. "Or you'll be the one cleaning up."

Sakura harrumphs. "But there's nothing else to walk on! Your quarters are tiny, Fai. Everyone else's is bigger. It's not like there's a lack of space on the Station."

And she's right. Fai's quarters are miniscule, barely enough for a narrow bed, a desk, a closet, and some floor space. Every other personnel on the ship has rooms twice this big. His rock collection is crammed onto the back end of his desk, colorful in all their sparkling glory, but...

"I don't, I don't deserve it," he tells her, resigned. "You know that. Ashura agreed that this was the best course of action."

"Screw Ashura," Sakura snaps, flashing red again. Before him, Syaoran shines yellow. "You're the best person on the Station, Fai. I don't see how anyone can fail to recognize that."

"Complex sentences, Sakura. Very acid. I'm proud of you." Fai's mouth quirks into a smile. "But you see, I can't risk you having an outburst like that around people. That'll be very dangerous for you."

"I don't care about me," she protests.

"I do," Fai says. "And so does Syaoran. You're an important person, Sakura. Don't forget that."

She's silent for a few moments, and Syaoran bleeps his agreement. Fai focuses on getting as many spots off Syaoran as he can, because these spots are tiny and taking forever, and already, he can feel his eyes getting tired. His leg itches again.

"Syaoran, do you have a poem of your own?" he asks. "You said you did earlier."

Syaoran bobs his head. "It's a love poem. It's not very good though, I've only read two books so far."

"That's all right. I'm sure it's beautiful."

Syaoran flashes two spots of red, and after a moment, begins to recite:

"City lights, blue and white  
The road passes us by  
We look up, breaths fogging  
The night is not so dark  
All is at peace."

"It's very good," Fai says, patting his son on the shoulder. "I like it."

"I like it too," Sakura says. "But it's not very lovey-dovey."

Syaoran sags.

"Straighten up, Syaoran," Fai tells him, turning the droid around to get at the spots on his back. "Sakura, grab the Size 00 brush and do touchups on the sanded spots, won't you? The paint is on my other side."

With Sakura working on Syaoran's chest plate, Fai continues, "A poem doesn't have to be lovey-dovey, Syaoran. That was still very good!"

"I wanted it to be lovey-dovey," Syaoran mumbles. "For Sakura."

"I like it anyway," Sakura assures. "Don't worry about it!"

It's three entire hours before both Sakura and Syaoran are newly sanded and painted, and by the end of it all, Fai feels as though his eyes have shrunken in their sockets. He pats the dust off his pants, gathers up the four corners of the plastic sheet, and shakes the powdered rust into the disposal chute.

"The paint should be dry in an hour if you go to the disinfection chamber," Fai says with a yawn. "Come back later so I can do touchups, okay?"

They beep and nod, crowding around him.

He drops kisses on their visors this time, whispers, "MokoScript, deactivate," and sends them away with a new meeting time for tomorrow.

Fai isn't fond of his quarters in the Station, so anything that makes him fall asleep immediately is a welcome distraction. He shrugs out of his clothes, shuts the lights off, and falls into bed, unconscious before he knows it.

x  
x

There's a fine dusting of brownish-black on the children, and a sick sense of dread in Fai's stomach. His patch itches, and his leg itches, and he wants to pull out all his hair, and he... can't.

"You should try to sleep," Syaoran says next to him, completely unphased while Fai lies strapped into the lowest bunk bed in the Sparrow.

"I can't sleep," Fai hisses at him, and winces when Syaoran pushes himself backwards. "No, no, don't go. I'm sorry, Syaoran. I didn't mean that. I just..."

"I understand," Syaoran tells him, floating closer.

Fai can barely look at his son. It's been seven days since they were last on the Station, and it's the first time he's wanted to return to that place so badly.

There's something wrong with his children.

For over a week, now, the spots on their bodies have returned steadily, eating through paint and metal both. Fai thought it a simple rust problem at first, when he saw those spots and sanded them off, and painted over them. Two days later, the spots reappeared, right before they were due to head out on another mission. He spent the next three hours tense, teeth gritted, sanding the spots off all over again.

To be safe, he brought his sander along on the trip, as well as a can of paint, and when they weren't busy navigating swamps and oceans and sinkholes on other planets, Fai sanded the spots off his children on rocky beaches, on the top of cliffs, anywhere out in the open, in case the rust particles somehow contaminate the inside of the ship. The rest of the time was spent collecting samples, or scrutinizing the Sparrow's interior, just to make sure there weren't any strange black spots that had taken on all the metal surfaces.

(Fai discovered a spot on Syaoran's arm, thumbnail-sized, and he swore he could see the slow spread of it before his very eyes. It made his stomach turn.)

A week later, the tip of the sander has ground down to nothing. Fai has tried his best to scrub the spots off the children, but it doesn't help, and the spots are still blooming where they were before. The paintwork on their bodies is uneven, now; raised rings of accumulated paint circle the spots, only to be sanded down in the middle, and added on to with a new coat.

Fai desperately wants to bring them to the Engineering Department, to see if there's a way the rust can be removed, for once and for all. But the moment he considers that, he knows that the scientists there will keep them in quarantine, maybe even keep _him_ in quarantine, and he will not get any say in the treatments they deem fit to use on his children. Droids are droids. Droids have no feelings.

He can't do that to them. He can't.

He decides that the best thing he can do is to treat them himself. He was once a mechanic, familiar with rust of all sorts, and he has some treatments to deal with this. But they're all back in his quarters, and won't the Sparrow fly any faster already?

"How much more time?" he asks.

"5 hours, 34 minutes and 23 seconds," Syaoran answers patiently. "Do you want a partial dose of Estazolam?"

Fai doesn't look at Syaoran when he nods. "Just for about four hours or so. I need to be awake when we dock."

Syaoran moves away to fetch the medication, and Fai considers his other options. He will need various chemicals to experiment with the rust, in case his doesn't work. He will need someone with access to them. He will—

He thinks of red eyes, and knows what his next course of action should be. He doesn't like it at all.

When Syaoran returns with a broken pill, Fai swallows it with some water. He drops off soon after.

x

* * *

x

Hikari+ is singing a catchy pop song, her voice carrying over the low drone of lab machines, and Kurogane sings along, off-key, unable to hit her high notes. It doesn't matter, though. Touya's not in the lab, and there's no one else around, so it isn't as if he's embarrassing himself in any way.

It's late. Everyone else is slacking off after work, and Kurogane is slacking off, himself. He's got a length of nickel wire in his hands and the 3D image of a Gundam on his screen, and he bends the wire with almost-perfect accuracy, following the structure of the Gundam's upper arm, trailing down to fit its chunky elbow...

The doors slide open. Kurogane startles, swears, and stops singing immediately. He thinks he's a little too late with that, but the man on the other side doesn't seem to care.

Fluorite strides into the lab in his uniform, hair mussed, as if he tried to make it stick up every which way and it all flopped down in defeat. He's in bad shape, like he's been working twenty-four hours straight in knee-deep muck, and, to top it off, received a cutting lecture from the Commander. But none of this is Kurogane's business.

Blue eyes meet his before he can look back down at his wire model, and Fluorite nods at him, arms full of sample boxes.

"Thought you usually drop those off earlier," Kurogane says. "Don't knock anything down."

"I won't knock things down." Fluorite's tone is sharper today, without the fake cheer, and it's refreshing. Kurogane's interest prickles. "Have you analyzed Sample 9504 yet?"

"No." He shrugs when Fluorite frowns over at him, on the verge of a retort. The sample boxes go down on the counter, next to the stack from last week. "Still haven't got testing chemicals. You should go look for some silver."

Fluorite purses his lips. "I follow the planet set I'm given, you know. I can't deviate from that. The other 'borgs are supposed to be the ones collecting for lab materials—"

"Thing is, we still don't have them."

"Fine, don't touch the samples," Fluorite snaps, his face drawn. He turns away, takes a deep breath to control himself before stalking over, a sort of tension about his shoulders that he's never had before. Fluorite waves a piece of half-cylinder in his hand—it looks like a droid part. "I have a challenge for you," he says more calmly, even forcing a grin. "It's a really fun one. Do you want to take it up?"

"What is it?" Kurogane asks, wary. He's never known this guy to come asking for favors in the lab. From this close, he sees little specks of opaque white on Fluorite's face, like he lost badly against some glitter machine.

"This keeps rusting." Fluorite sets the part down on the bench next to him, one made of polished granite. "All I want is for the spots to go away. Permanently."

"If it's just rust, can't you deal with it yourself?"

"If I could," Fluorite says, deliberately slow, "I would have done it myself."

And that, right there, is pretty damn suspicious. "Why're you not going to the Eng. Dept?"

Fluorite shrugs. "You're the ones doing research, right? You have more materials than they do, a wider range. I think you'll be able to figure it out faster." He pauses, a sort of slyness slipping into his eyes. Thin lips pull into a grin. "Unless you can't."

And damn him, but Kurogane will rise to a challenge if it butts up to him like that. "I'll see about it, damn you," he says. "Where's your droids?"

"Around." Fluorite shrugs. "Contact me as soon as you figure it out, okay? Or do you want me to ask the Engineering Department as well? So you guys can race against each other?"

Kurogane rolls his eyes. "Don't be an idiot. That's from your droids, isn't it?" He jerks his head at the droid part—oddly dull, come to think of it. "Run into trouble?"

Fluorite flaps his hand. It's just as dismissive as Touya's wave, but about ten times more annoying. "Something like that. But I think it'll be better if we have more people working on it."

"Not like we have unlimited resources." Kurogane stares at the man, wishing he's watched him more closely in the past. He doesn't know this guy's tells as well as he probably should. "Anything we should watch out for? You sound desperate."

"I'm not." And there it is, that fake grin again, that tells him Fluorite doesn't mean half of what he says. Is this sample really important? Or is he throwing them for a loop? Touya, for one, has said enough stupid things to the guy for him to want revenge, and Kurogane would not be surprised if Fluorite wants to take out any banked anger on the lab. "Well," Fluorite says, "the parts are a steel-aluminum alloy, so you probably don't want brine on that."

Kurogane rolls his eyes. "Even idiots know that."

Fluorite turns to go. "Tell me when you have some results. I'll be on the Station for the next two days. After that, you can reach me on the Sp— The Voyager by email, and so on."

"Fine. Whatever." Kurogane looks back to his computer, wire figurine forgotten in his hands. The droid that's supposed to be washing apparatus in the lab hasn't shown up, and he kind of wants his things clean for tomorrow. "Hey, hang on," he says.

Fluorite stops just by the door, looking back with a smile plastered across his face. "Yes?"

"Since you like droids so much. Any idea where this one went?"

The man blinks blankly at him. After a too-long pause, he says, "But all droids are the same, aren't they? I wouldn't know where this one went."

Which makes Kurogane think _he knows_ , but Fluorite is gone before he can even get a word out.

Annoyed, he spins around in his seat, sees the droid part balanced delicately on the bench, and turns his back on it. Hikari+ is still singing on his speakers, too soft in the new quiet of the lab. Kurogane turns the volume up, sees the Gundam outline on his screen, and returns his attention to his figurine. He completes its other arm, then its torso, and its legs.

An hour later, the droid still hasn't shown up, and Kurogane's just about ready for bed. He stands, stretches, finally looks at the droid part that Fluorite left.

It's slightly off-white, bumpy on the surface, as though it's gone through a bad paint job. Whoever did that should probably be fired, or rotated. Whatever. There are hardly any spots on it that Kurogane sees, just teeny, tiny dots, and he rolls his eyes. Fluorite probably left that to annoy the hell out of Touya.

He turns most of the lights off, heads over to the door. To his surprise, there's a droid standing on the other side, smelling faintly of disinfectant. All its surfaces are gleaming white and smooth.

"'Bout time you showed up," Kurogane mutters, but the droid doesn't answer. He walks out, the droid heads into the lab, and Kurogane turns his thoughts towards sweet, peaceful rest.

x  
x

Two days later, Kurogane looks at the droid part early in the morning, and swears.

* * *

 **A/N:** Concrit appreciated and welcome! Or, just telling me your reactions as you read is just as appreciated ;)


	2. Cooperation

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 2: Cooperation**

The door slides shut, taking his children away from view, and Fai's joints pop as he climbs to his feet. He wants to collapse into bed badly, but he can't. He needs to clean up, clean himself, get his clothes decent. Every cell in his body shrieks in protest.

It's been another week since the lab, another week of sanding the children down between jetting across planets, and Fai is exhausted. For as much time as he's spent scrutinizing both Syaoran and Sakura, and for how thoroughly he's sanded the rust off from their bodies, there are always spots that he misses, tiny ones that grow as wide as the whites of his fingernails, and the occasional one that gets even bigger, all brown-black. It makes the hair on his skin stand on end, to know how badly this can spread through his children.

It isn't just the rust. The planets this week have been hell to pull samples from: planets with acid rain, planets with floods crashing through steep ravines, planets with blades of grass that pierce through his boots like knives. It isn't _always_ this bad, but it is tiring, and Fai has to put up with it because he has a leg that is close to infallible, because he owes the Station a huge debt, because he is missing parts—

He scratches at the patch on his back, grinds the heels of his palms into his eyes, and peels the sheet of plastic off the floor. He knows better, now, than to empty it into the disposal chute. Nothing has come out of that so far—no ship damage reports, no foul smells leaking into his room.

Fai loosens the clasps on a sample box, shakes powdered rust and metal and paint into it, and fastens the lid back on. The plastic sheet, he stashes in another sample box, just in case.

There has been no word from the lab. Fai was hopeful, at first, but as the days went by and no news came, he realized that Kurogane must've thrown Syaoran's leg casing to a side and forgotten about it. He didn't even want to ask when he delivered the samples earlier—only Touya was there, and Fai did not dare breathe, much less look at him at all.

His own attempts have failed. None of the techniques he knew as a mechanic have proven successful; oil applications show no change in slowing down the rust, sanding it down only delays its progression, and the rust simply creeps out from beneath a copper overcoat.

To make matters worse, the rust proves resistant to chemicals. Strong acid eats into the metal surrounding the spots. Strong bases do the same. A weak, neutral sodium chloride solution makes the rust spread twice as quickly, and Fai panicked when he saw that.

He peels his clothes off and steps into the tiny attached bathroom. This was the one luxury that Ashura made sure he received, austere though it is with all its dark metal walls, and Fai will be eternally grateful to him for it.

The shower spray runs hot over him, comforting in its heat, and Fai forces himself to relax. He shuts his eyes, lets water patter into his hair for as long as his guilt allows him to, before he shuts the water off and lathers soap in his palms. His leg itches _again_ , and there's nothing there for him to scratch but smooth metal casing.

Fai doesn't like showering, not really. It's a reminder all over again, of all the parts he's missing, and he thinks about Sakura working in the Farm when he skims his hands quickly over the sturdy metal of his abdomen, about Syaoran bustling around in the lab, both of them being useful.

Fai isn't very useful at all. He goes out and brings samples back, and the scientists ignore his work, shove them to a side for another time. There are precious metals in the things he finds, metals that will help the other people on the Station, and—

He presses his forehead to the cool, wet wall of his shower stall, and tries his best not to think.

x  
x

When he's done with the shower, scrubbed up and finally presentable again, Fai dresses himself and heads out.

He's decided that he will be brave and go to the lab. He will ask Kurogane why the research is taking so long, whether he's started on the droid sample. He hopes Kurogane has. He hopes he doesn't go to the lab, only to find Syaoran's leg casing covered entirely—

Fai stops by the doors of the lab, sucks in a deep breath, and presses his ID to the reader. The doors slide open.

There is only one scientist with black hair at this hour, and Fai holds his breath, praying it isn't Touya. Then the man looks over, and it's Kurogane.

He feels something ease in his chest. Kurogane doesn't throw him dirty looks like the other scientist does. All he does, is watch Fai carefully, as though he knows Fai will trip or something, and it makes him nervous. But his eyes don't have the revulsion present in so many others, so Fai steps into the lab with something like relief, trying on a smile. "Hello?"

"The fuck did you give me?" Kurogane scowls.

Fai hastily revises all his opinions and goals. "A... piece of metal?"

"Don't talk shit with me, idiot." Red eyes glare. "What's on the metal? The black thing?"

Fai winces. Kurogane's seen it, then. "I've been trying to figure that out, myself," he says brightly.

Kurogane straightens to his full height, rounds his lab bench—the granite one, incidentally—and Fai backs away, out of the lab before he's even spent fifteen seconds in it. "Stay right there, damn you."

Fai wants to run. He really does. But the one thing he knows, is that if he bolts right now, he'll never get Kurogane's help fixing his children. So he stays still, hardly breathing, and braces for a punch when a large hand comes up.

"I'm not going to hit you, damn it."

Instead of a swift, stinging explosion of pain, Kurogane grabs the collar of his shirt, hauls him into the lab. The doors slide shut behind them. It's not much of a consolation when Kurogane is a head taller than him, his shoulders half again as broad as Fai's, and Fai recalls one memory in particular, of this man looking up from the wrestling ring, eyes sharp, teeth bared, nose broken and bleeding.

He swallows.

"C'mon," Kurogane says, dragging him over to the granite bench. "Tell me what the hell this is."

Fai trails wordlessly behind, sees the rows of petri dishes laid out across the bench. There is no layer of agar in the covered dishes, only curved, greyish polygons that— "You cut the part up?" he asks, strangled.

Kurogane sends him a pointed look. "What'd you expect me to do? Eat dinner with it?"

The response is so far out of left field that Fai huffs a laugh, shocked and darkly amused. He steps up to the bench, looks over the samples— His heart sinks. A handful are grey, spotted with brown-black, but the majority has been consumed by the very rust that's been plaguing him for weeks, now, and he can't help the wince on his face.

"Are those... all the reagents you have?" he asks weakly. "Nothing works?"

"Tch. I tried some things." Kurogane narrows his eyes. "Where'd you pick this thing up? I did a scan. Inconclusive results. It's not 100% iron oxide."

"Even I can tell you that." Fai chances a glance up at him, looks quickly back down. Kurogane still isn't happy. "But no, I don't know. We've been all over the place. I can't... possibly know where that came from. It'd help if you guys started on the samples I brought back."

"You got any of it on you?"

"The rust?" Fai glances down at his leg, covered in thick green-grey uniform. "No, I don't. I've looked."

"Good. So it's just your droids? How've you been keeping it down?"

Fai winces. He doesn't know how Kurogane's figured that out so quickly, but it isn't as though he can hide that, right now. "It's really not that bad on them. I've been sanding the rust off."

"How'd you dispose of it?"

"In a sample case. Those can be real lifesavers, you know." Fai doesn't mention the times he's lost samples and food and things stuck in a sample box, only to find it on another visit to the planet, the box contents completely intact. His answer seems to satisfy Kurogane, though, who merely nods.

When the scientist doesn't say anything else, Fai begins haltingly, "Is there anything I can do to help? I'm... available at nights. At least, when I'm back on the Station."

Kurogane quirks an eyebrow. Fai blinks at him, thinks back on his words, and flushes hot.

"No! I, uh, I didn't mean it that way. I meant, since you seem to hang around here so often— Oh, heavens. That's not what I meant, either."

"We're talking about research," Kurogane provides, dryly, and Fai nods for all he's worth.

"Yes! That. Research. On parts." It sounds awful all over again, and he covers his face, heat rushing all the way up to his ears. "I mean the rust."

"Of course."

Kurogane doesn't sound revolted by any of that, so Fai calms a little, looking down and trying not to fidget with his clothes. For lack of anything else to say, he tries, "When can I start? Tonight?"

Kurogane glances back at his desk, where there is a collection of figurines. They are robots of all sorts: ones made with twisted wire, once made with cellophane paper wrapped around wire frames, ones that are welded together with tiny sheets of steel. Some of them stand atop his computer terminal, while others crowd around the edges of his desk, further away from lab traffic. Right in front of the screen is a half-done robot, made with black and silver wires twisted together.

Fai realizes too late that that is what Kurogane was going to be working on tonight, instead of research. "Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. I'll come back tomorrow?"

Red eyes flick back up at him. "Nah. Tell me what you've done so far with the rust. Best get more work done on that damn thing."

He brightens up a little. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not going to ask twice." Kurogane strides to his desk, fetches a thin stack of paper and a pen, and pulls a stool up to a steel-topped bench, where things have been cleared away to elsewhere. It's not quite as cramped as the other benches, and Fai is grateful for that. "Sit down."

The discussion goes a lot better than Fai expects. They each list the methods and materials they've tried on the rust so far, and Kurogane tabulates them with sure, dark strokes of his pen, lines that are so unlike Fai's looping script. In the end, they aren't any closer to solving the problem, but they know better the things to avoid, and the things they can use to trigger a minor growth spurt in the rust.

When their brainstorming drags to a crawl, Fai glances around the cluttered lab, lit blue-white and filled with samples of all sorts. "What else do you do here?" he blurts. "Surely you don't just work on rock samples."

"I test samples from the Farm," Kurogane answers. "Sometimes samples from Production. The other guy's the one doing the rocks."

Fai cringes. "Oh. Well, I'd really appreciate it if the sample from two weeks ago can be tested. Sample 9504. It really has a lot of potential. I swear."

Kurogane studies him, but he doesn't say anything for the longest time, until he shrugs. "He has a bunch on his hands too. We used the methanol for other things."

"Can't you make more of it?"

"It's slow. I used the last of it on the rust." Kurogane nods towards the petri dishes, and Fai shuts up. He casts about for something else to say.

"Why the robots?" he ventures, looking at Kurogane's crowded desk. "You don't... really like the droids. Or AI."

"No one likes AI," Kurogane growls, low and forceful. His eyes flash. "Damn bastards are murderers."

"I heard about the attacks," Fai says quietly. "Were you involved?"

Kurogane looks away, mouth drawn thin.

It's not the right time to talk about how artificial intelligences were state of the art about 17 years ago, and how they had saved lives in their prime, so Fai turns the subject elsewhere. "So... why these robots? The ones you make? Aren't they like droids?"

"No," Kurogane mutters, eyes focusing intently back on him. "These are Gundams. They are robots that people pilot from inside. They help to fight for the good of mankind."

"I've never heard of them."

"'S from an anime. Cartoon. Comic."

"I missed that trend, then." With a touch of irony, Fai adds, "I suppose that is revealing about my age."

Which might have been the wrong thing to say, because Kurogane's attention does not pull away. "You don't look that old to me," he says. Fai shrugs. He hasn't looked in a mirror for a while. "But you like droids. So we're kind of the same."

"You like droids?" Fai asks, surprised again. "I thought—"

"No, I like Gundams. Robots you can pilot and fight with. There's a _difference_."

"The droids are underappreciated," Fai answers. He glances around the lab, sees Syaoran at the far end loading conical flasks into the apparatus washer, tiny against the shelves towering around him. "See, they all have names."

"Do they."

"Well, do your Gundams have names?"

Kurogane doesn't pause before he answers, "Yeah. The one I'm making is called Freedom. The one behind is Justice. The wire one is Chaos. The..."

It suddenly strikes Fai that they are, actually, kind of similar. It's a little unnerving.

"Do yours have names?"

Fai hesitates. "You aren't going to laugh?"

The scientist rolls his eyes. "I just told you the names of all my Gundams."

He takes a deep breath— and remembers. "Maybe some other time," Fai says, trying for a smile. "Can't have you knowing everything all at once."

Kurogane scowls at him.

"Is that... why you don't hate me?" Fai blurts before he can take it back. "Because I'm... part-robot?"

"No."

"Then why...?"

"Because you're still a human, idiot."

Fai looks down at himself, at the thick weave of his uniform. He hasn't felt truly human in... a while.

"Look, go get some sleep." Kurogane gathers up the papers spread across the lab bench. "Come back tomorrow. I'll plan more experiments. The other guy leaves at 1800 hours."

"Okay," Fai says, glad for the distraction. There will finally be more progress on the research, and a new sort of hope unfurls in his chest. "I'll be here."

x  
x

Later that night, Fai rolls over in bed and heaves Sakura onto the thin mattress, so she's able to stretch out next to him. "I think Kurogane doesn't really know what AIs are capable of," he murmurs into the crook of her neck. "All he seems to know are the ones that took all those lives."

"He's younger than you."

Fai doesn't mention that it's uncomfortable lying on his side just so there's enough space on the bed for both of them. Sakura can't balance on _her_ side due to the build of her frame, so Fai is the one to do it, cradling her carefully in his arms. He traces fingers over her newly-painted chest plate, follows the contours up to inspect her neck, and her head. No spots.

"Which is just as well," he answers. "Since the fewer people who are aware of things from my generation, the better."

"Is your generation really that bad?"

He thinks about it. "No, actually. It isn't."

"Tell me about it, please?"

Fai sighs, looks up at the bare steel walls of his quarters. There are pictures tucked away in corners, of him and his children, and an "Employee of the Year" award behind the rock collection, words etched from a polished plate of copper. That, in particular, was from an age ago.

"AIs were everywhere, you know," he murmurs. "On street corners, operating machines, flying planes—everything you can think of. Humans were already dying out by that point, so it made so much more sense to have robots control risky things like flight, space station repairs, harbor operations, things like that. I mean, who doesn't want to be pampered, right?

"It was really good, for a time. We had AIs on the fields, AIs in the malls, AIs doing difficult surgeries so there's no need to switch out for another doctor... Of course, the thing about AIs is that they develop their own sense of self, and self-worth... And the humans who grew used to being more important, they really didn't treat the AIs very well at all. I think that's how it came about, the revolution."

Next to him, Sakura nods. "They should treat AIs more fairly."

Fai laughs. "People like me and you, we know that. People like Kurogane, who grew up knowing only the revolution, and not what caused it... he doesn't see the bigger picture. It's not in the history books."

"We should change that."

He looks warily at his daughter, curious despite the turn in conversation. "How?"

"I should make friends with Kurogane," Sakura says.

Fai stares. "How? He would know—"

"Not if I email him!" Sakura flashes one spot of red, for cheekiness. "He won't know who he's talking to."

It sounds like a wonderful and horrific idea all at once. Fai doesn't know which it is. "But... But what if he tries looking for you?"

"He'll be looking for a human, won't he?" Sakura says. "He won't see a droid and assume it's an AI."

"He's very suspicious," Fai groans. His stomach is flipping. "It's too much of a risk. He's not worth your safety, flower baby."

"I'm an AI. I can do this." When he still isn't convinced, she pats his shoulder. "I'll be careful, Fai. He won't catch on."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You programmed me. You're one of the best AI programmers around—"

"What's left of them, anyway."

"—and you've made me and Syaoran intelligent. I won't mess up."

"I'm not worried about you," he protests. "I'm just not sure about Kurogane. He's a clever man, you know. I can't— I can't lose you. You remember the new law."

He's starting to shake, now, breaths coming quick and uneven.

Sakura flashes two spots of red, alarmed. "Fai, calm down. I won't do it," she says. "Shh."

Fai clings on to her, biting his lip and trying not to think of all the other possible consequences. "I can't— I don't know."

"What if you read all of the email? So you're in control of what's sent. If you think it's getting dangerous, we'll stop."

It takes a long time for him to calm, and longer yet for him to think about hacking into the Station's system to create an account for Sakura. Next to programming an AI, slipping through the cracks of a system is easy, especially when he's already done it so many times before.

"We'll see," he says cautiously, voice muffled into his pillow.

"Shh." Sakura pulls him closer to herself, and he arranges his body around her so there's no chance of him crushing her frame. "Go to sleep. We're safe here."

Fai listens.

x  
x

The next day, Fai brings two ceramic mugs of coffee to the lab. He's timed it exactly: he shows up at 1830 hours, and he knows Touya isn't around because he's seen the man in the canteen, having dinner with one of the other staff—Yuki, the scientist at the Farm with silver hair and huge, round glasses.

Kurogane barely gives him a glance when he steps in, but he narrows his eyes at the mugs. "What's that?"

"Coffee?" Fai winces. "Uh, I'll set it aside if you don't want it."

"I'll take it if you leave it at the side," Kurogane says. "But the rule is no food or drinks in the lab."

"Sorry."

The scientist shrugs. Fai sips from his mug, leaves them both close to the door, and makes his way over to where Kurogane's hunched over a bench. He's tall, and it has to be uncomfortable for him to be doing that for any length of time.

"Have you eaten?" Fai asks. Kurogane shrugs again.

"Later. Lemme finish up these guys first. D'you have another part we can use?"

Fai sets Syaoran's other leg casing on the granite bench, winds closer to where Kurogane's switching out slides from a microscope. "Samples from the Farm?"

"Yeah."

There's nothing else he can do to be helpful, so Fai wanders around the lab, looking at bottles of chemicals, studying desks, pointedly avoiding the sample box where Kurogane's dumped the worst of the rust samples. It's all black inside, and the mere sight of it makes his hair stand on end.

Fai has planted himself on a stool by the granite bench by the time Kurogane finally tidies up his work, rinsing things into a sink and tapping measurements into his computer. When Kurogane heads over, his lab coat far too short on him, Fai flashes a bright smile.

"What do I help with first?"

"You want to cut the droid part up?" Kurogane asks. Fai winces, nods. It's something that has to be done if they want to contain any accidental spread of the rust. Kurogane points him over to a machine, all white paint and rounded corners, and a red beam of laser pointing down onto a cutting surface.

He makes sure to cut the piece up very, very carefully, because he can't afford to provide any more of his children's parts right now. Both Sakura and Syaoran are newly sanded and painted, and he's spent hours on end doing that. (Sakura's turn was today; Syaoran's touchups will be tomorrow.)

When the pieces are done, cut into the smallest parts Fai can manage, he fetches clean petri dishes from a side, and begins to distribute the droid parts among them. Kurogane is elsewhere in the lab, working on chemicals for the samples, and Fai has no intention of engaging him any more than he has to.

The lab doors slide open when he's in the middle of his work. Fai looks up, only to meet Touya's razor-sharp stare, blazing with fury. He freezes.

"Kurogane!" Touya snaps. He looks at Fai's too-short lab coat, and Fai watches with growing horror as Touya catches sight of the two mugs by the door. His stomach drops all the way to his feet. "Why the hell do we have coffee in here? Why the hell is _he_ in here? He's not cleared for any kind of experiment!"

Kurogane looks up from stirring a beaker of solution, red eyes narrowed. "I asked him to bring coffee. It's why it's at the door instead of here."

Fai is so surprised he can't even speak.

Touya's jaw works. He strides into the lab, ignoring Fai entirely, and goes to his desk to grab a folder. "Explain why he's in a fucking lab coat."

"I needed help," Kurogane says evenly, and Fai feels his legs tremble. He's not even supposed to be here.

"There's fifty other people on the ship," Touya spits. "Get any other person. Hell, even the waste disposal crew will do."

Fai really, really wishes he could sink into the floor and be forgotten. As it is, he's just glad that Syaoran's script is on standby right now. His son doesn't need to hear this.

"Fuck off, Kinomoto," Kurogane retorts. He's starting to frown, and Fai can't pull his eyes away from him, when his lower lip pushes out and— _Oh dear heavens, no._ In what universe does gratitude manifest as this? "Get your files and go."

"Karen will be hearing about this," Touya says, turning around and heading out. His eyes are cold in the single second they land on Fai, and then he's striding out, towards the open doors. Yuki is still standing there, watching the whole time, and Fai hates that one of the nicest people on the Station has to witness this. "If he screws up, it'll be on your head."

"Yeah, whatever," Kurogane mutters.

The doors slide shut.

It's utterly silent in the lab for the next few minutes. Fai looks back at his little droid parts, carefully placing them in petri dishes and trying not to let his hands shake. His heart pounds. Touya hates him, and maybe Kurogane will hate him too. It's a wonder that Kurogane even stuck his neck out for him. There must be something he missed, some joke he isn't aware of, and Fai wants to take Syaoran and go, but he can't.

"Hey," Kurogane says. Fai startles. "You okay?"

"Um, yes?" Fai tries on a bright grin. It doesn't really come out right.

"Tch." Kurogane jerks his head towards the door. "Get some coffee. Sit down. I don't need actual accidents here. But wash your hands first."

Fai washes his hands, scuttles off to the cups of coffee by the door. His stomach feels like a tight knot of sick, and the coffee is lukewarm in his hands, but grounding. He takes a sip. The creamer on the Station isn't that great, and he wishes the coffee were stronger, but he's added enough sugar for it to be distracting. He swallows another mouthful, and another, too shaken to really care that he shouldn't be drinking this much.

"That guy's an idiot," Kurogane says after a while. "Don't think that means you can slack off."

Fai can't help the smile that twitches at his mouth. He shouldn't be spending time here, really, he's not authorized to, but this is an invitation, and he'll try his hardest to find a cure for his children. "Thank you," he splutters. "That's, that's very kind of you."

Kurogane snorts. He finishes up with his reagents, rinses his hands off, and comes over to where Fai's set his coffee. "That the non-dairy creamer?"

"Uh. I... haven't noticed?" Fai cringes. "There's more than one sort?"

"Lactose intolerant," Kurogane says, eyeing the remaining cup of coffee. "I prefer dark."

"Oh. With sugar?"

"Nope. Dark and bitter."

Fai makes a face again, hides behind the rim of his mug. "Well, you wouldn't like this cup, then. I... added some sugar to it. Thought it might sweeten you up. I'll go back to the canteen and make another—"

"Don't bother. I'm going to dinner soon anyway. Just need to prep the next batch of reagents."

"Okay, uh, tell me what I can do."

"Yeah." The scientist turns back to the benches, and Fai stops him.

"Thanks for earlier," he says quietly, uncomfortable. "With Touya. You really didn't have to."

Kurogane doesn't speak a word, but he shrugs, and Fai allows himself to think that maybe he'll be useful yet, here.

They prepare the remaining solutions in silence. There are about forty samples in total, half of which need solutions that are already premade, so it doesn't take them much time before the rest of the chemicals are ready. Kurogane measures out the powders, Fai fills the volumetric flasks up to the thin line on their necks, and shakes them up to dissolve the chemicals. Some of the other powders require solvents like acids or alcohols, and Kurogane shows Fai the cabinets where the bulk drums are stored.

By the time they're done, it's late, and Kurogane's stomach rumbles awkwardly in the silence of the lab.

"Are you a fan of canteen food?" Fai asks.

Kurogane looks at him like he's got a screw loose, and for good reason. "Not like we have any other choice. Wanna take a ship to the nearest KFC?"

Fai cracks a smile. "I can cook."

More suspiciously, now, "Only the kitchen staff have access there."

"They'll be gone in two hours," he says, checking the digital clock above the doors. "But I'm not sure if you'll be able to hang in there for that long."

"I'll eat canteen food. Much easier."

"That's fine by me. I think the food there sucks, though."

"Why don't you be a cook full-time, then."

"I can't." Fai doesn't want to think about being a cook full-time, because... because he just can't.

Kurogane looks over, and Fai scrubs at his hands with a great dollop of soap. Maybe he's said too much. He shouldn't give away so many details about himself. Somewhere on his body, a trigger sends a tiny shock up his spine, and Fai winces.

"Well, I have to go," he says, drying his hands off on a paper towel. "Too much coffee. Where do I leave the lab coat?"

The scientist points at the scant rack of stained coats, and Fai shrugs out of his, sliding it onto a plastic hanger.

"The samples should have results by tomorrow," Kurogane says from somewhere behind. "You'll be here?"

"Actually, no. I won't." Fai sends a smile over his shoulder. "Will you email the results to me? I'm headed to the green pea galaxy this week. Will be— Hey, wouldn't it be funny if someone named it Green Pee Galaxy, you know, like if pee were green?"

Kurogane looks at him like it isn't funny in any way, and Fai cringes.

"Sorry about the pee jokes," he blabbers. Another shock jolts up his spine. "Gotta go."

"Just not in here," Kurogane says just as Fai hurries to the door.

He doesn't know if that's supposed to be humor on Kurogane's part, but it amuses him anyway, and he slips out, barely remembering to take the mugs of coffee with him.

If he feels Kurogane staring at him as he leaves, that just means his jokes are beyond awful, doesn't it?

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Mar 2509, 09:51:23  
Subject: More Farm samples

Mr Kurogane,

We would like to send a few more crossbreeding squash samples to the lab over the next week or so. Is that okay?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

P.S. Yuki would like to commend you on the prompt testing results you've returned so far.

* * *

x

It's quiet in the Sparrow, almost silent. The thrum of the engines has been lowered to a minimum, and they're cruising gently through space, now, ambient lights in the ship's interior all turned off. Through the tinted cockpit window, a green glow falls onto their faces, barely enough to illuminate their features.

Fai likes these missions best. The collection of ionized oxygen is not an entirely harmless job, for all the radiation present that makes the green pea galaxies glow as they do, but it's peaceful. There is no dangerous terrain to cross, no acid rain that will burn through his children or his suit, and if all Fai gets in exchange is a small dose of UV light, well. Everyone else at the Station values their life.

"Do you think Kurogane will catch on?" Syaoran flashes a single spot of yellow on his visor, for concern. "He could correctly guess that Sakura's last name is a condensation of yours."

Next to him, Fai shrugs. He's thought over it several times, been on the station's roster to look up names. There are other last names beginning with F, and besides— "An adult has the legal right to change their name into anything they want. So it doesn't really matter if no one else has the same last name."

"Does that mean I can change my given name as well?" Sakura pipes up from his other side. Fai pulls a face.

"Do you not like the name I gave you?"

"No, no, I like it! I just thought, what if Syaoran and I had the option to choose our names?"

Fai thinks about it. "Should I have given you that choice?"

Both children shrug, hands swiveling up and down. "There are pros and cons," Syaoran says. "I think you gave us good names."

"Your names are Japanese, you know," Fai says. "It's why I couldn't tell Kurogane when he asked. He would've wanted to know more. And it's really because your bodies were built in Japan right before we took off."

"What do they mean?" Sakura chirps.

"Well, yours means 'cherry blossom'. And Syaoran's means 'little wolf'."

"But Fite is not a Japanese name," Syaoran adds. "Wouldn't that be strange?"

"Humans can have a variety of ancestry. To them, a mixture of cultures in names isn't uncommon, especially in this day and age," Fai answers. "But you are a Fite Child, Sakura. You have a mission."

Sakura flashes a single red light. "You called me a flower baby."

"You are both," Fai tells her. "Both a Fite Child, and a flower baby."

"But Fite is not the right spelling," Syaoran interjects.

Fai grins, setting a hand on Syaoran's head. If the boy had hair... "It's a pun, Syaoran. Look it up! Puns are great fun."

"Like the Green Pee Galaxy?" Sakura says, flashing a spot of red. This time, it's more of a wink.

"Don't remind me," Fai groans. He covers his face with his hands. "He's going to hate me for making corny jokes, I swear."

"He was very nice to you yesterday," Sakura reminds him.

"Maybe he got lucky or something. So he was in a good mood. I'm not thinking about it."

"Do you think he likes men or women?" Sakura asks, while Fai's lost in Not Thinking About Kurogane.

Fai peeks through a crack in his fingers. "What?"

Sakura repeats her question.

"What's that got to do with me?"

"Maybe he'll like you?"

He chokes on his saliva, and has to unbuckle himself from his seat to grab a bit of water. "Not funny, Sakura. He'll probably be the sort to have a girlfriend and pursue her recklessly... and propose with a Gundam model. Or something."

The children have nothing more to say on the matter, so Fai brings up one of their travel playlists, and they sing along to pop songs together while the Sparrow trawls through the deepest parts of the Aquarian galaxy, gathering lifeblood for the Station.

x

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
10 Mar 2509, 08:26:09  
Subject: Re: More Farm samples

Send 'em over. Tell your boss to stop wasting time on useless talk.

You new? Never heard your name before. Sounds Japanese.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
10 Mar 2509, 11:19:43  
Subject: Re: Re: More Farm samples

Mr Kurogane,

Thank you!

Yes, I'm new. I recently graduated from the School. I'm now working at the Farm! My Dad says I have Japanese origins so he gave me a Japanese name.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

x

"He's sending you email and ignoring me," Fai mutters. "He was supposed to have emailed me yesterday."

They're on their backs this time, seats adjusted so they're all lying flat, heads right beneath the slant of the cockpit window. There's really not much to do when they're on an oxygen-harvesting mission, and they've developed a routine over the three years they've been at this.

"Maybe he's thinking up the best words to say to you," Sakura answers, flashing red again.

"Maybe the results are no good," Syaoran says quietly.

Which is closer to what Fai suspects, but there's no use in disappointing the children this soon. They've still been sanding off the little rust spots and painting over metal, and on an easygoing mission like this, Fai has all the time in the world to take little breaks in between.

It's not a solution, but it's nice.

"Let's talk about something else," he says, looking through the wispy green above them. The glow from the ionized oxygen is dim, and beyond that, he can see the stars and galaxies in the distance, peppered across the black velvet of space.

Nearby, there are spiral galaxies tinted blue, cartwheel galaxies with their bright outer rings, lenticular galaxies with their flat disc shapes. There are clusters so bright that they draw his eye first, and the fainter brown of red dwarves, the supernovas, the many shapeless nebulae birthing new stars.

Fai feels especially tiny looking at all these, and he knows that no one will miss him if he disappears. Ashura, maybe.

"In another life, on another world, you guys would be humans, you know," he says. "Sakura, you'll be an actual princess with lots of handmaidens at your feet, and a kingdom who loves you. Syaoran, you'll be the loyal pageboy who protects Sakura no matter what."

"I can protect myself," Sakura protests.

"You definitely can, but I want you to be safe."

"What will you be?" Syaoran asks.

"Me... I'll be the court wizard. I'll help you keep your kingdom safe," Fai says. "And all my loyalty, I'll swear it to you."

Sakura reaches over to hold his hand. "All my loyalty, I swear it to you," she answers. "And Syaoran."

On Fai's other side, Syaoran clasps his hand as well.

Fai feels his heart well with everything he feels towards these two. "I don't deserve you guys," he croaks, throat too tight to say much else.

"You deserve every bit of us," Syaoran assures him. "We are loyal to you alone."

x

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
11 Mar 2509, 18:09:54  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: More Farm samples

Who's your dad? Thought there's only two Japanese on board. The other guy doesn't have kids either.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

"No, don't write that," Fai yelps, staring at the screen. "He's not... He'll blow up on you. Please don't."

"Are you not interested?" Sakura asks. She looks back at him, tilts her head. "You said you like men."

"I don't— I mean, I barely know him." Fai looks to Syaoran for help, but the boy is still processing this development. "He can't know who your father is!"

They're in the bowels of the Sparrow, now, taking a break from the bits of UV radiation that have seeped through the protective layers on the cockpit window. Fai lets Syaoran slather aloe gel on his itching face, and tries to sit still while Sakura adds a new line to her email draft.

"All we really need to know is whether he likes men," Sakura points out.

"I'm not even human anymore," Fai moans. "I'm missing some... some important bits."

He tries not to think about that.

"He thinks you're human," Syaoran says.

"He doesn't know everything," Fai protests. "I'd rather just not... disappoint him. I mean, if he's interested in men."

"It'll be fine," Sakura tells him, patting his hand. "Don't worry."

Fai covers his face. "What are we even doing?"

"Making you happy," Syaoran says.

Fai wishes he didn't program that into their systems.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
12 Mar 2509, 08:21:45  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: More Farm samples

Mr Kurogane,

My Dad is a very nice man. Do you like men?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
12 Mar 2509, 18:32:21  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More Farm samples

What the hell kind of question is that. None of your f[-censored-] business.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

Kurogane is still swearing at his computer when the lab doors slide open. He turns to look—it's Thursday, so he isn't expecting anyone—and scowls when he sees Fluorite raise a hand in greeting.

"Am I interrupting something?" Fluorite says, looking between Kurogane's screen and his face and grimacing. "I can come back later."

"No, this is fine." Kurogane stands, eager to leave his computer and email and whatever this Sakura girl wants. "Thought you were coming back tomorrow."

"I forgot to mention that. The GPG missions are shorter than my usual—it's just that I don't come to the lab at all when I don't have samples," Fluorite answers. He winds around the lab benches to come closer, tone growing reproachful when he adds, "You didn't email me the sample results at all."

Kurogane shrugs. "Not great. A couple of the samples slowed the rust down. Was waiting for those before I emailed."

"Oh." Fluorite's eyes flicker over the petri dishes on the granite counter, lingering on the two samples that are still spotted with brown-black, unlike their rust-covered counterparts. "What were on those?"

"Cooking oil, if you can believe it." Kurogane snorts. "With some red pepper flakes. The other guy suggested it."

Fluorite gapes. "Oh," he says again. "I, uh, I'll keep that in mind."

"The other's black pepper. Seems like we should branch into capsaicins and piperines."

Kurogane gets nothing but a blank look from Fluorite, so he turns and shrugs. "If you have more droid parts, I'll get the pepper flakes tomorrow. Kitchen's busy right now."

"I can get them tonight," Fluorite blurts. His eyes are wide and bright, a striking blue, and Kurogane is wary, all over again.

"How do you even have kitchen access?"

Fluorite shrugs, looks to the side. The skin on his face is pinkish like he's been sunburnt, but it's not any of Kurogane's business. "It's legit access, I swear."

"You aren't even kitchen staff." He thinks back to the gossip he's heard about this guy, and chances it: "Is it the Commander?"

Fluorite's mouth twitches. He doesn't look any happier, though. "Perks of the position, I guess you could call it that." Before Kurogane can answer, he adds, "Do you want some different food? I mean, if I'm breaking into the kitchen tonight, I may as well cook."

"What recipes do you know?" There is food, and then there is food from Kurogane's past, that he misses, and that the kitchen never seems to get right. His stomach clenches in response.

Fluorite shrugs. "If you pull a simple recipe off the internet, I'll probably be able to follow it. You know, something quick. But if you want something slow-cooked, you'd have to ask for it in advance."

Kurogane isn't really thinking about samples and hooking up with some girl's dad anymore. The list of food he misses grows longer with each second he thinks about it, and he's back at his computer, typing in ingredients and half-forgotten dish names that don't quite look right on the search engine. A perk to _his_ position, definitely, is knowing all the crops they've been growing at the Farm.

Fluorite pulls up an office chair next to him, straddles it so he can prop his arms on the backrest. "You sure miss a lot of food, huh?"

Kurogane barely glances at him. "Doesn't everyone? Food here tastes like shit."

"Are you saying that because you know what shit actually tastes like, or...?"

"The fuck kind of question is that," he snaps, and turns to glower at the idiot. "Don't twist my words up."

Fluorite shrugs. "Just taking it literally."

But there's a tiny smile on his face, like he's amused, and maybe Kurogane shouldn't notice how it makes his eyes soften the slightest bit. He huffs and turns back, opening tab after tab of stews and fried things and eggs and chicken.

Looking at the pictures of food makes his mouth water. He remembers the taste of some dishes so well that his stomach rumbles at the mere thought of them, and it's telling.

"We should eat something first," Fluorite decides, swiveling his chair around to look at the door. "Something light. So at least you won't be starving by the time we get to the kitchen."

"What time?"

"2300 hours or so? It'll be pretty late."

Kurogane sighs. He doesn't want to bear with an empty stomach until then, so he prints a recipe out and hands it over to Fluorite. "This. Simple enough?"

Fluorite scans it over briefly, folds it up. "Yeah. I can do that."

They get to their feet, head over to the doors, and Kurogane's too distracted to think about much other than food. There's a droid in the corridor when the doors slide open; Fluorite reaches over to pat its head.

"This one here is Little Wolf," he says.

"Yeah? How'd you know?"

"How do you remember all your Gundams' names?" Fluorite tucks the recipe into his back pocket.

"The Gundams are different! They have different designs and colors. How do you even tell these guys apart?"

All Fluorite does is smile, and Kurogane punches him lightly in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Serves you right."

"That's very rude of you," Fluorite tells him. Kurogane doesn't answer.

They pause briefly at the entrance to the canteen. Fluorite's pace slows, and he hangs back, as though he's wary of entering. Kurogane's never really thought about this before, the way this guy behaves around people, and the way they treat him.

"C'mon," he tells the man. "Follow me."

x  
x

They spend the next few hours in Kurogane's quarters, eating fries and bits of fried chicken. It's not healthy in any way—Fluorite's said as much—and Kurogane doesn't care. He does remember the way the blond stopped at the entrance to his quarters and stared around, however, as though he doesn't have a room like that, and it bugs him how the guy's hiding so many more things than he'd ever expected him to.

They sit on the couch, watch TV, and share food. Fluorite doesn't eat a lot, Kurogane notices. He chews extra long on the chicken, and Kurogane has to slow down his eating just so there's some left for the idiot. Fluorite, apparently, doesn't notice.

"I didn't think they'd air things from thirty years ago," Fluorite says, eyebrows lifted. "That stuff is _old_. I mean, do you see that production line? The multi-tasking robots are a lot more streamlined now."

Kurogane glances sideways at him. They haven't switched away from this channel, mainly because Kurogane doesn't mind watching programs about how things are manufactured, how things were created from assembly lines in different eras, but he didn't think Fluorite knows enough to pinpoint when this video came from. "You don't watch TV?"

Fluorite shrugs. "I don't stay on the Station much, you know. There's no TV on the ship."

"What about when you get back?"

The guy smiles at him, patronizing and smug all at once. "I have other things to be doing, Mr 'I watch TV all the time'."

Kurogane rolls his eyes.

The food helps tide them through to 2300 hours. By then, Kurogane is hungry again, and he's hurrying Fluorite out of his quarters so they can sneak into the kitchens.

Except it isn't really sneaking, when Fluorite scans his ID, and the nondescript steel door swings open for them.

The kitchens are dark when they head in. Fluorite turns to the left, flicks some switches on, and smoothes the creased recipe flat on the steel island in the middle. Kurogane doesn't really know much of how to cook, except for buying food at little Asian restaurants and popping instant noodles into a microwave, so he stands back and watches as the blond strides to a large cabinet, pulls pots and pans out, and sets them on the stove.

"You've done this a lot," he says.

Fluorite shrugs.

Someone knocks on the door. Kurogane tenses, turns to look. To his surprise, Fluorite turns, goes to the door, and hits the switch to unlock it. Two droids troop into the kitchen, heading straight for the middle island, and Fluorite doesn't even bat an eyelid.

"Those yours?" Kurogane blurts.

Blue eyes flick up at him. "Is there a difference?" Fluorite asks with a bland smile, turns back to his preparations. "1143G, take this scoop. Bring me a cup of uncooked rice. 2315A, stand by me. Lookup 'teriyaki sauce substitute'."

But the fact remains that Fluorite called them here. He knows the serial number of each droid, recognizes them somehow, even when they look every bit identical to Kurogane.

And so Kurogane watches as the droids move around the kitchen with Fluorite in a practiced dance. There's rice cooking on the stove, fish marinating in prepared teriyaki sauce (in a flat voice, "one teaspoon minced ginger, half cup soy sauce, two tablespoons rice wine...") and Fluorite slices up scallions at the cutting board, face blank and tipped down.

Something's not quite right about this. Kurogane doesn't know what. He occupies himself with stashing portions of black peppercorn and red pepper flakes into separate sandwich bags, slipping them into his pocket. Fluorite notices, but he does not mention it.

When the food is done, Fluorite plates it first for Kurogane. He dishes out a far smaller portion for himself, and Kurogane has to wonder at how little he eats.

"That's all?" He stares at the guy's plate.

Fluorite shrugs. "I don't have much of an appetite for fish."

"Most of the food here is fish," Kurogane answers, flabbergasted. "What do you eat if you don't eat fish?"

Fluorite looks up at him, eyes wide with surprise. "Eggs, I guess. Pills. Veggies."

"Sounds like a sucky diet to me."

"Will you magic me a cow, then? So we can have steaks?" The blond cracks a wry smile. "I sneak a bit of chicken when I can. But don't tell anyone."

"Not my business." Kurogane misses the taste of beef, though, and pork, but there simply aren't enough crops grown at the Farm to sustain an animal like that, much less a herd. The fish looks plenty good on his plate, though, delicate white meat drizzled with sauce, garnished with chopped scallions and edged with rice, and he can't complain.

It tastes surprisingly good, actually. Similar to what he remembers, and way better than Station food.

"Well? Did I pass?"

"Yeah," he says, keeps on eating.

"Good. Because I really don't want to eat the rest of that fish."

Kurogane watches him from his spot by the island. They're both standing and eating off plates, droids motionless by the sides, and Fluorite's still chewing as slowly as ever. "Can't eat fast?"

Surprise darts through Fluorite's eyes again, as though he isn't expecting to be talked to, or he doesn't expect anyone to notice. "I can't," he says carefully. "Bad digestion."

"Oh." Again, none of his business.

Kurogane polishes off his food, goes for seconds, and Fluorite's face lights up. It isn't even a smile, but it's in his eyes, his posture, and he looks at his droids, as though he wants to share the news.

"You cook often? If you're cooking, tell me. Station food sucks enough as it is."

The pink on Fluorite's face gets a bit darker. "Oh. Uh, okay. I'll tell you if I do. It's, it's really just when I get back from missions. Sometimes I get back late and stuff, and the food's almost gone anyway."

"You aren't missing much," Kurogane tells him. Fluorite cracks a smile. The guy doesn't look all too bad when he smiles, Kurogane realizes.

They don't say much else, but Fluorite checks that he's got the samples, and rinses the pots and dishes out when they're done.

It's with a sense of contentment that Kurogane leaves the kitchens, ushered out by Fluorite. He's had some decent food tonight, some decent company. Fluorite doesn't try to talk all that much, which suits him just fine. Kurogane likes quiet people.

They part ways at the junction of one of the corridors further away from the kitchens. Kurogane doesn't really know where Fluorite's headed with his droids, but it isn't to the staff wing where everyone beds down for the night. It isn't his business, though, so he shrugs and returns to his quarters, where he finds an empty white plate, scattered across with crumbs from fries and fried chicken.

All told, it's been a pleasant evening, he thinks.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
13 Mar 2509, 17:33:43  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: More Farm samples

Mr Kurogane,

I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. Dad found out and he wasn't happy. :(

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
14 Mar 2509, 09:01:37  
Subject:

Fine. Stop calling me Mr Kurogane. Kurogane is enough.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab


	3. Closer

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 3: Closer**

Fai doesn't know how it happens. The next time he returns to the lab, Kurogane has oils infused with peppercorn and red pepper flakes ready for more experiments, and he doesn't yet have a droid part ready, but promises to come up with it soon. In the meantime, he discovers that Kurogane's playlist is actually pretty catchy.

(He asks to scroll through the playlist, and the man smiles.)

x  
x

A week later, he drags himself back to the lab, exhausted from his mission, children sanded and painted and gleaming at his hips, and Sakura's arm piece as a sacrifice for their research. Kurogane takes one look at him and orders him back out. The children drag him back to bed.

When he finally wakes, close to twelve hours later, there's an email from Kurogane in his inbox, his very first. Kurogane reports significant slowing of the rust when he uses oil with high concentrations of capsaicin.

To celebrate the first breakthrough they've had in weeks, Fai breaks into the kitchens with Kurogane that night, and they sneak chicken sausages and eggs, and some tomatoes fresh from the Farm. Instead of eating there, Kurogane pours them both some wine, and allows Fai and his droids to hang out in his quarters. They clink glasses in front of the TV, eat from plates on their laps.

The next morning, Kurogane hands him a flashdrive with a collection of songs on it.

x  
x

Fai plays it as in-flight entertainment on his next mission. Syaoran looks up the lyrics and their translations, flashes it on a screen, and they learn to sing the songs together in the Sparrow's cockpit, voices melding, one human and two electronic.

Between planets, he daubs oil from the lab onto a few test spots on Sakura and Syaoran. Their bodies don't take well to it: the oil washes off easily in different atmospheres, and without a protective coat of paint, acid rain eats away at their casings quicker than usual. Fai panics.

He mixes the oil with paint, covers the spots of exposed, darker metal on his children, and the rust stays off, but not for much longer, either.

 _It doesn't work,_ he emails Kurogane.

Kurogane doesn't respond, and Fai's heart sinks.

x  
x

When he returns from the mission, he brings his children to the lab, to show Kurogane the effects of capsaicin-rich oil.

Kurogane studies him solemnly, looks at his children and back at him, and something on his face changes. He makes Fai sit, leaves the lab for a bit. Fai dozes off while he's gone.

He wakes to a tap on his shoulder, and Kurogane's back, holding a mug of coffee in front of him. He takes it gratefully.

"It isn't sweet enough," he tells Kurogane after three sips. "But at least it's not black."

"More sugar, and you're gonna die from diabetes," Kurogane answers.

Fai has nothing to say to that, so he cradles the mug in his hands, painfully aware that no one else has done this for him in a long, long time.

x  
x

"Come watch me wrestle," Kurogane says one night, when they're both in the lab, and Fai's singing along to Hikari+ playing on Kurogane's computer.

"What?" Fai stops midway through the chorus, looking up from his petri dishes. "Why?"

Kurogane shrugs. "You've never been to the wrestling ring, have you? Make some friends."

Fai winces. "I think they're more likely to beat me up there."

"Not if I tell them not to," Kurogane answers.

"I don't really... I mean, I'd rather not watch people fight. It gets bloody." And he's remembering Kurogane's face again, lit from above, shining with sweat and blood both, and looking like nothing will ever get in his way. "Does Touya go?"

"Sometimes." Kurogane shrugs. "You don't have to go into the ring if you don't want to."

But Touya goes, and if he does, then other people who dislike Fai, who are more violent, will be there as well. Fai grimaces, feels a chill slither down his spine. "I don't know."

"You'll see," Kurogane says. "It's not that bad. If it is, I'll leave with you."

It's a promise, one that few other people have made to him, and so Fai agrees.

x  
x

He spends the rest of the next day in deep unease. The clothes he wears to the recreation wing are casual—a collared shirt and jeans to blend in—and Fai waits for the session to begin before he slips into the wrestling room, ducking to a shadowy side as soon as the door slides open.

The wrestling room is smaller than he expects. It's dim and crowded around the edges, some posters on the walls. Bright white lights shine onto the raised wrestling ring in the middle. Kurogane's up there with someone else. Fai sees the broad bulk of him, the muscles on his back, his dark hair, his gleaming olive skin, and drags his eyes away, trying to disappear into the crowd.

His entrance doesn't go unnoticed. He feels eyes on him immediately, ones that land and scatter, ones that latch on and don't let go. A sick, bad feeling creeps into his gut. He licks his lips, thinking to step right back out, but someone grabs his arm as soon as he turns, and his heart lodges itself in his throat.

Fai feels himself dragged backwards, fingers that close too tight around his elbow, and someone else curls a heavy, muscled arm around his neck, squeezes hard so he can barely breathe. He can't see their faces. It's too dark in here.

"What've we got here?" someone says. "Looks like the Commander's pet 'borg. Ha, what d'you think of that?"

It's a loud voice, and Fai feels more eyes on him, even as the referee in the ring blows his whistle, and he can hear blows being traded, sounds of flesh hitting flesh.

"Wha's dat 'borg trash doin' 'ere?" someone else says, low and grating, and Fai tries to twist around in that grip. It smells like sour sweat in here, like fear and pain. "Lemme show'm wha' he's gettin'."

He isn't prepared for the pain that explodes through his middle. Fai gasps, stumbles when his captor throws him into the crowd, and someone else grabs him by the arms, twists them back, holds him open to more blows. His heart pounds and the sick dread in his stomach deepens. He tugs at his arms. He recognizes some of the people here, an older man with grey hair and a receding hairline, the one cook with a pot belly, a younger boy with crooked teeth and a bony fist. None of them look any bit friendly.

Fai wishes he was far, far away, back in his room where his children insisted he stay.

"Give me my wife back," someone says, and punches him across the face. His ears ring, his vision blinks out. Fai wishes he could. He wishes he could, he does, but he can't. Dead people can't be brought back.

"Think you're so great," someone else snarls, and punches him in the gut, where most of his functioning mechanisms are. It doesn't hurt, but Fai feels the twist of metal, and winces. "That medicine was gonna be for my son! My son! Damn you, you motherf—"

He's on the floor. There are more blows, more pain, and Fai gives up trying to escape. He can barely breathe. He huddles into himself, curls his arms over his head, tries to minimize damage in case he makes it out of this alive. He still has to get back to work tomorrow. He wishes he was unconscious so it doesn't hurt as much, but that isn't a good path, either, when he can wake and find himself—

The blows stop coming, suddenly. Fai doesn't think much of it. It could be everyone parting to make way for a beast, so he scrunches his eyes shut, hurting in more places than he wants to count, wishing he'd died long ago.

Someone heaves him up, slings him over a shoulder, and the crowd around them is silent. Fai hears the door slide shut, hears the quiet of the corridor, doesn't know what to make of it.

He thinks he'll be murdered, and it'll be a good thing that he's put Sakura and Syaoran on standby, so they wouldn't discover him dead and be upset about him. Or maybe he wouldn't be murdered, and that's not a thought he wants to have, either.

He pretends to be unconscious as whoever it is walks through the corridors, turns corner after corner. Fai doesn't open his eyes. He doesn't want to know where they're going, and he hurts. One of his eyes is swelling shut. His stomach hurts. His connectors and seals are still intact, at least, so he isn't having stored waste empty out into his metal cavities. Fai's grateful for that.

A door slides open, then shut, and Fai scrunches his eyes up when he feels his captor move him off his shoulder onto a bed. It's a broad shoulder, large hands, surprisingly gentle, and Fai doesn't dare open his eyes, even then.

"Hey," Kurogane says.

Fai snuffles, eyes flying open to stare at him. "Wha?"

"The hell did you let them do that to you?" Kurogane snaps, suddenly angry, as though he's just realized that Fai isn't dead. He's not wearing much—just some long shorts, it looks like, but Fai's hurting too much to really care. "Why didn't you fight back?"

Fai shrugs painfully. He deserves it, so it isn't like he has a reason to make excuses for himself.

"Damn it," Kurogane snarls.

"I knew it'd happen," Fai tells him in an undertone. His nose doesn't seem broken. His teeth all seem to be intact, and he's grateful for that.

"Then why? Why'd you go anyway?" Kurogane's clenching his fists now, biceps bulging, and Fai realizes that he's forgotten that Kurogane looks like that beneath his lab coat. He hasn't connected the other memory to this, and he would have been in awe if he weren't busy trying to curl himself into a ball. "Are you an idiot?"

"Probably." He shrugs. His shoulders hurt. "You asked me to go."

Something thuds soundly on a wall. Fai looks up, realizes it's Kurogane's fist, and looks back down again. At least Kurogane isn't punching him, too. "Look," Kurogane mutters, stalking back to the bed. "I didn't think it'd get this bad."

"Really?" Fai huffs a breath, mirthless. "I thought you knew. Everyone knows."

"I just— I never thought they'd do _this._ Fuck." Kurogane storms away, slams a closet open, and storms back, dropping something heavy on the mattress next to Fai. "Look, can you sit up?"

Fai pushes himself upright. His back hurts. Kurogane opens the box—it's a first aid kit—and thrusts a couple of cooling pads at him. He presses those onto his face, so he doesn't have to look at Kurogane. The pain in his cheeks eases.

"Can you get your shirt off?"

He winces. "I'd... rather not. If possible."

Kurogane snorts. "Where're you hurt the worst?"

"Just... around. I'll live. I should go."

"At least let me look at you, damn it. Any sharp pain?"

Kurogane tugs the cooling pads away from his face, and Fai looks away, shrugs, aware that he must look terrible, right now. Large fingers catch his chin, angle his face up. Fai looks at the tidiness of Kurogane's quarters, the books on tall shelves, the Gundam models on his desk, the swords on the wall, the photos on his desk.

"Looks like it's all just bruises," Kurogane mutters. "At least it's not worse than this. Need an x-ray to be sure though."

Fai breathes out when Kurogane releases him, takes the cooling pads back. "Can I go now?"

"Look," Kurogane says, turning away. His eyes are narrowed, and his shoulders are tight. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it'd end up like this."

Fai shrugs, rubs his throat. It feels good to be able to breathe normally again. To be upright, instead of dangling upside-down. "I'll just... stay out of everyone's way. Good to have a reminder."

"That's not what I'd call good, damn it. Why the fuck would you be happy about that?" Those red eyes are flashing again, and Fai curls more tightly into himself. His shoes are still on, and he's dirtying Kurogane's bed. Why would Kurogane even bring him into his own room? And set him on his bed? Everything about this room says he shouldn't be here—the wide bed, the whiteness of the walls, the bright lights, the large TV.

"Do you really not know anything?" Fai asks, chancing a glance at him. Kurogane's pacing now, eyebrows drawn low. "I mean, why they're so angry?"

"I know some. But I don't care."

" _Why?_ A ton of people on the Station hate me—"

"You're my friend, damn it!" Kurogane snaps. "Or don't you know that?"

Fai stares at him. He blinks, and blinks again. The only friends he has on the Station are Sakura and Syaoran. Ashura, in a way. "No," he says at length. "I wasn't aware of it."

Kurogane sighs. "You're the biggest idiot I've ever met. Now you know."

"Oh."

Kurogane sits heavily down next to him. "You gonna take your shirt off? I need to know if you need to go to the doc."

Fai winces. "It's not pretty. It's... I'm not all human."

"Tch. I already know you're a 'borg. Get over it."

"It's not that easy," he protests. Kurogane doesn't budge, just stares at him more. He means it, Fai realizes. "You won't... laugh? Or anything?"

"No." Kurogane pulls a half-used tube of something out of the kit. "I have this for bruises. What do I use for metal parts?"

"Oil?" Fai tries, and Kurogane snorts. He smiles, though, and Fai smiles back.

Slowly, he tugs his shirt off, wincing when he lifts his arms over his head. There's the beginnings of a huge bruise forming on his stomach, now, beneath scar tissue, and dents of varying depths on his abdominal covering. There's extra fat on him where it was lean, once, and next to the trim abs right in front of him, he really doesn't look like much at all. His skin prickles, his stomach clenches. Fai waits for the longest time before he dares look at Kurogane.

"No wonder you don't eat a lot."

Fai gapes. "That's all you're saying? No wonder I don't eat a lot?"

"Yeah. You eat kid portions." Kurogane uncaps the tube, squeezes translucent yellow paste onto his fingers, and reaches over to rub it into Fai's midriff.

"Ow," Fai says.

"It'll make the swelling go down," Kurogane tells him, presses further against scar tissue. Fai yelps again. "No sharp pain?"

"No."

It continues that way, Kurogane rubbing yellow paste into his skin that stings at first, until it warms up and the pain eases some. It smells a bit like menthol, a bit like other herbs Fai can't identify.

"I didn't know we have medicine like that here," he says.

Kurogane shrugs. "Brought it with me when I came here."

"That must be... old. It still works?"

"You think?"

Fai looks at the tube. It's blue with a yellow stripe running down the length of it, and the end of the tube has been squeezed flat, like how every tube of toothpaste should be squeezed. This is a pleasant surprise. "That's the right way to dispense stuff from a tube," he says, appreciative.

"Yeah?" Red eyes flick up at him. Kurogane grins. "You do the same?"

Fai shrugs, and his shoulders twinge. "I... used to just scrunch it up. But then I learned to do it the other way. It's grown on me."

He doesn't mention being nagged at to squeeze his toothpaste tubes differently, but that is a fond memory, now. It doesn't hurt as much to think about it anymore.

"What else did you bring with you?"

Kurogane pulls the first aid kit over and shows him. There are little cardboard boxes of ointments with Japanese characters on them, old-fashioned medical tapes in flimsy blue plastic dispensers, a huge pair of scissors that's more suited to cutting cloth than bandages.

"I've never seen some of those," he says, truthfully.

"Brought them from my family home." Kurogane rolls his shoulders. "Turn around. Lemme see your back."

Fai kicks off his shoes first, before squirming around, more at ease with showing Kurogane his back. There aren't as many scars there, no metal parts, so from the back, at least, he looks like a normal person.

"You're gonna get bruises all over," Kurogane says. He presses firm fingers onto certain spots on Fai's back, and Fai grimaces at the pain blooming from his fingertips. "You need the patch here?" Kurogane taps on the white circle on his lower back. Fai pulls a face. "There's a bruise underneath. I can't get to it."

Fai reaches behind and picks it off, and Kurogane rubs warming paste onto the spot there. The patch is limp and warm in his hand; he looks at it, at the fabric weave on the top and the ripples where the adhesive no longer works.

Fai is very, very glad that Kurogane doesn't ask about it.

This continues for a while. Kurogane treats the redness on his arms and face, scrutinizes his fingers, and finally lets him put his shirt back on. "If you're in a hell lot of pain tomorrow, do an x-ray."

"Okay."

"What about your metal parts? You gonna go to the Eng. Dept to fix them?"

Fai shakes his head. "I'll fix them myself." At Kurogane's dubious look, he frowns and adds, defensively, "I was a mechanic, you know. I can fix myself up."

"Fine. If you need more medicine, shoot me an email."

"Okay."

Kurogane lingers in his doorway and watches as Fai makes his way back to his own quarters. It's... different. It makes Fai feel cared for in a way that's almost surprising, because none of this has been programmed. Syaoran and Sakura care for Fai because Fai's written it into their codes, but Kurogane— Kurogane's concern is freely given. Fai doesn't know how long it'll last, but he appreciates it all the same.

He has a friend.

Fai limps down the empty hallways, and smiles to himself.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
12 Apr 2509, 10:18:45  
Subject: Re:

Kurogane,

Tell me if there's anything I can do at the Farm to make your life easier :)

My dad's been distracted lately. He doesn't talk to me and my other half as much anymore. :(

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

x

"You aren't spending as much time with us anymore," Sakura says, flashing a single spot of yellow. "When we're back at the Station, you go to Kurogane's lab."

Fai feels a wave of heat crash over his face, at the same time he winces and reaches over to pull Sakura onto him for a hug. She sits heavy on his bare legs, turning her head to look at him sideways.

"Well," Fai answers after a deep breath. "I do spend all my time with you when we're out on the Sparrow. And my first hours on the Station are always with you and Syaoran."

"You email Kurogane when we're on the Sparrow," Syaoran points out from the floor. He's freshly painted, and has to stand where he is while his newest coating dries. "It's roughly twice every hour."

"Is it?" Fai winces. "I thought it was once every hour. I've been spending time at the lab—none of the chemicals we've tried have really worked so far, you know. I'm surprised that Kurogane hasn't called it a state of emergency or anything like that. It's a bug we haven't been able to kill."

"Will it get bad?" Sakura asks. "The Station's made of steel."

"I've looked. I've asked Kurogane to look, as well. He says everything's fine."

It should be worrying, but Fai's been careful with his sanding and painting so far, and he and Kurogane are storing their test samples in a third sample box, now. There's still no progress on his EEA sample. Touya refuses to work on "unimportant matters", while he purifies chemicals for samples the other 'borgs have brought in. Fai is resigned to wait, by this point.

Sakura flashes a green light, for relief. "You've been talking about Kurogane every ten minutes this week," she tells him.

Fai flushes again. He can't— really help it if he has only four friends on the Station, can he? Kurogane is human and warm and doesn't see him as scum, and it's enough to send his heart racing when it shouldn't.

"I should be more careful of him," he says, and he's not sure if he's telling that to himself, or his children. "He really doesn't like AIs."

"Your heart rate is going up," Syaoran says. "Do you like him?"

He winces. He can't lie to his children, and... he shouldn't like Kurogane as much as he does. He's caught Kurogane singing along to Hikari+ a few times, now, and Kurogane has been making him sit and watch episodes of some Gundam cartoon ("Anime! There's a difference!") with him after they've prepared more reagents for yet more droid parts.

"I... don't know," Fai finally says. "It's confusing."

"What about us?" Sakura flashes yellow again.

"I will always love you and Syaoran, I promise," Fai answers, kissing her cheek. "No matter what happens with Kurogane, you and Syaoran are my first priority. This is an absolute."

Syaoran's flashing yellow too, now. "What if Kurogane says to destroy AIs?"

Fai sets Sakura down on the bed and goes to crouch in front of Syaoran, the fading bruises on his back aching less than the twinge in his human leg. He leans in, presses a kiss to the side of Syaoran's visor.

"Then we shall part ways. No matter who he is to me, you guys will always come first. I swear my life on that."

Syaoran takes a few moments to digest that. When he does, he flashes green. "Okay. You and Sakura will always come first for me."

Behind, Sakura says the same.

Fai smiles and joins Sakura back on the bed, stretching out his legs to apply the ointment that Kurogane's lent him. It's been two weeks since the wrestling match. In the days immediately after, parts of his skin turned an angry blue-black, and Kurogane took pity on him, going so far as to leave the lab for a bit to fetch his ointment tube. The bruises are a fainter yellow-brown now, and Fai does not liken the color to rust in front of his children. (He told Kurogane, though. Kurogane punched his arm for it.)

"Did you like the book on Roman architecture, Syaoran?" Fai says, smearing ointment on his stomach next. The metal on his abdomen has been hammered back into shape, and the various mechanisms inside have been set right, now. When he's done with his chest, he turns around to let Sakura daub ointment on his back.

Syaoran flashes two spots of green in front of him. "It was a fascinating book. Did you know that they built archways out of stone? True arches were built with stone wedges that were held together with a central key stone. With the true arch, the Romans were able to build longer archways than the post-and-lintel method..."

Most of it goes over Fai's head, but he smiles anyway. "Are you able to write a love poem that has to do with Roman architecture?"

Syaoran flashes two red spots. "I will try," he says, and goes quiet for a while. Fai takes the opportunity to cap the ointment tube, stretching his hands out to Sakura.

"While Syaoran thinks, let's play a game, flower baby," he says. "What about the clapping numbers game?"

Sakura gives him two spots of green, and Fai smiles. Even with Kurogane's new presence in his life, and even with the rust problem, there are still some things in their routine that have not changed. He is grateful for this, too.

x

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
24 Apr 2509, 13:23:42  
Subject: Re: Re:

Hey, you going to increase soybean production? Thinking 'bout requesting tofu from the kitchen.

Sorry 'bout your dad. He found someone?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

Music pounds in the tiny bar, reverberating in his ears and chest and bones, and Kurogane closes his eyes, takes another long drag of his beer. It slides smooth and bitter down his throat, cool on his tongue, and he sighs. It's been a while since he's been in a bar, drinking like this.

It's different today, though. Someone's celebrating a pregnancy announcement, some guy from the engine rooms and some girl from the... somewhere, and Kurogane really can't be bothered about it. But Touya's told him about the free booze, so he's here for the one mug before he goes. For how much the food on the Station sucks, the liquor does not, and it'd be amazing if he wanted to drink his weight in it.

Someone slides into the seat next to him, just as he pulls his phone out to check his email, and the someone elbows his elbow. It's too quick and intentional to be an accident, so he scowls over—

"Slacking from work?" Fluorite shouts over the music, easy smile on his mouth, his eyes bright and playful. Kurogane stares. He hasn't seen Fluorite—Fai, his name is Fai—like this before, and he's really pretty in the purple shadows of the bar, Kurogane realizes. The lines on his face are sharper with the shadows, more pronounced.

"I thought you're still out cruising," he answers, caught off-guard. "Aren't you supposed to be back tomorrow?"

Fai shrugs. His face looks a little dark, but Kurogane's sure that's due to the low light of the bar. He leans in to yell in Kurogane's ear, "GPG mission, remember? I return early."

Kurogane wracks his brain. "Thought that was monthly. Been more than a month now," he yells back.

The bartender either hasn't noticed Fluorite, or is ignoring him, so the idiot reaches over and steals Kurogane's mug, sipping from the other side. He makes a face. "That's kind of really bitter."

Kurogane rolls his eyes. He doesn't want to keep shouting over stupid loud music where it's crowded and people can come up to Fluorite— _Fai_ —and try beating him up again, so he downs the rest of the beer, signs off a tip, and grabs Fai to leave.

The steel door slides shut behind them, muffling most of the thunderous music, and Kurogane sighs with relief. It's far brighter out in the corridors, all white walls and white lights, and Kurogane looks at Fai again. His face is pink—sunburn?—like the last time he went on the Green Pea mission, and there aren't as many shadows around his face, but he is still kind of pretty anyway. Blue eyes, chapped red lips.

"You're not drinking enough water."

Fai's eyes grow wide. "You're starting to sound like— like a mother," he corrects himself, and Kurogane's curiosity prickles.

"Who'd you think I sound like?"

Fai shrugs. "Like people I know. Were you drinking to drown your sorrows? I didn't think you had any."

Kurogane snorts. He grabs Fai lightly by the elbow, pulls him in the direction of the research labs, because now that Fai's back, they can get started on doing something else. "You're done fixing your droids?"

"Yeah. The Green Pea missions aren't that strenuous. I fixed them on board."

"Good. I got plans."

"Plans?" Fai quickens his footsteps to keep up with his strides. "Did you come up with more reactive groups to research with? I don't have a spare part right now, I'm afraid."

"Nah. You need to finish the second half of Season 1," Kurogane answers, grinning. "You're not at the exciting parts yet."

Fai's mouth drops open. "You're stealing me away to slack more?"

"You got any plans tonight?"

"No—"

"Then you can come watch anime with me." Kurogane lifts his eyebrows. "Unless you have other things to do."

"Well, no. I don't," Fai says. "But I can't stay long, I made plans."

"You meeting someone else?"

"Sort of." Fai wriggles his shoulders, looks away. "But I can spare an hour."

It occurs to him that Fai might be seeing someone he doesn't know about. Before the gnawing starts in his chest, Kurogane blurts, "You seeing someone? Dating?"

This time, Fai goggles at him like he's never goggled before, and Kurogane feels the uneasy prickling ease.

"Well, no. Who'd want to date a lump of metal?" Fai glances flatly down at himself, and Kurogane doesn't say _me_.

He doesn't completely trust Fai, not 100%, not with whatever secrets he has, and so he can't. But he sure as hell can be interested, when Fai sits around in front of computers with him and shouts at 2D animations produced about a few hundred years ago. Or when Fai sneaks him into the kitchens every so often and cooks whatever recipes he asks for. Or when Fai replies to his emails with silly pictures and corny jokes that he shouldn't find funny, but he does.

What Kurogane does say, is, "Idiot," and Fai elbows him again.

So he scans his ID at the research lab, steers Fai in, and powers up his computer. Fai spins himself around in the office chair he rolls over, and Kurogane can't believe that he's 36.

"Act your fucking age," he tells the idiot.

"Are you judging me for it?" Fai asks, smiles again, and Kurogane realizes that this guy doesn't smile like that at anyone else. It's warm and playful and bright. It makes his stomach flip.

When the home screen finally displays, and when Kurogane finally navigates through his folders into this particular season of the Gundam series, Fai has settled down next to him, their thighs pressed comfortably together. Neither of them says a word about it.

It's a new routine for Kurogane, one he hopes will carry into the future.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
26 Apr 2509, 16:31:15  
Subject: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

I'll put a request in for you. :) What does tofu taste like?

Dad found a friend. He used to worry a lot about us, but he doesn't so much anymore. :(

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
27 Apr 2509, 10:43:23  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re:

... You don't know what tofu tastes like? What kind of Japanese are you?

It's ok if your dad doesn't worry about you. That means he trusts you.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

"What does tofu taste like?" Sakura asks during one of the calmer moments on board the Sparrow. They're between planets now, having left the atmosphere of a warm, sweet planet minutes ago, and Fai sits languidly in his pilot's seat, relieved that all they came across were peaceful green fields and calm, meandering rivers.

"Tofu... tastes like a whole lot of nothing," he answers. He glances at her email again, and pouts. "Are you really sad when I don't worry about you guys as much? I still do, you know."

Sakura's hands swivel up, then down. "We're happy that you're happy with Kurogane. But it gets lonely when it's just Syaoran and I."

Fai stares at her. "Does that mean... you want another friend?"

She flashes a single yellow, then. "No! It just means we want to have you around more."

"But I'm here, aren't I?" Fai reaches out to hold both their hands. "And I've been giving you books to read and puzzles to play."

Syaoran flashes green. "He's right, Sakura. Fai cares about us."

Despite that, Sakura flashes a red. "I think I'm jealous."

Fai reaches over to unbuckle her seat belt, and pulls her over onto his lap. "You'll always be my child, flower baby. I was thinking, the other day. If we were reborn into another world, you'd be a human, right? So you'd have hair of some color, and eyes of some color."

Sakura flashes green, this time, and Fai smiles.

"So I figured that you'll have green eyes and ginger hair," he tells her. "And Syaoran will have brown eyes and brown hair."

"What do they mean?" Syaoran asks. "Do the colors mean something?"

"Well, Sakura will have green eyes for unyielding courage. And Syaoran, you'll have brown eyes for your sincerity."

"I'm brave? You think so, Fai?"

"Yes, you're very brave," he answers. "The bravest little girl I've ever known."

"But why am I brave?"

"You— Well, you've been talking to Kurogane. I'm surprised that it's been going so well, to be honest. And you're clever, too. He hasn't smelled a rat."

She flashes two spots of green, and Fai presses his cheek to her head, smiling.

"I'm proud of you both," he says. "You've come really far... further than I expected, really. You're the best children I've ever met."

"You're the best parent we know," Syaoran says, and Fai feels his heart swell for them.

x  
x

"Have you ever wondered if we could train AIs? If they were around again?" Fai says, rearranging the droid parts in his petri dishes.

"Don't," Kurogane mutters. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Fai glances up at him. It's another night in the lab, another weekend where he's back with Kurogane trying to think up new compounds to test on the droid samples, and Kurogane's at a weighing scale, measuring out powders for yet more reagents. Fai shuts up.

The thought lurks in his head, though. His AIs have been with him for three years, now, and they aren't going through a revolution. They aren't trying to kill anyone, or seek social justice, or do anything but be his perfect children, and Fai is certain that the answer is right there.

"If we saw them as children, we could raise them to be kind."

Across the bench, Kurogane grits his teeth, and his hand trembles. But he's glaring at Fai, pushing his spatula into the little window of the weighing scale case, and Fai thinks maybe he should back off, for now. He hopes he'll get through to Kurogane on this someday. Hopefully sooner than later.

"Right, we'll talk about something else. If I were to collect the materials for sample analysis, will you test 9504 for me? Touya isn't ever going to touch the things I bring back."

And he isn't. Fai's sample boxes have covered the entire side counter, now, and he has to tuck the newest samples into the very back of the lab, where no one ever goes.

"Not like he listens to me." Kurogane snaps the scale casing open, slides out a half-full beaker of water and yellow powder, and pours it all into a volumetric flask. "Why don't you ask the Commander to re-evaluate his work."

Fai winces. He will not bring personal matters up with Ashura if he can help it, and not for something so minor. The staff here have already made it clear that they hate him. Going to Ashura will only make things worse. Touya will probably find a way to get back at him, somehow.

He tries again. "What about you? What if you did it after-hours?"

Kurogane tops the flask off with more deionized water. When the liquid level approaches the line on its neck, he crouches down so he can look at it at eye-level, drips water in slowly. Kurogane straightens when he's done, caps the flask with a plastic lid, and upends it to mix its contents, the flask tiny in his large, gloved hand. With his other hand, he pulls more bottles over to the measuring scale.

"You're desperate for it to be analyzed."

"I'm sure you're only realizing it now," Fai answers dryly.

"No. We've been talking about this the whole time."

"So if you can work on the rust, why not my EEA samples?" Fai frowns, drops the last of his droid parts into the petri dishes, and starts forward. "If they're both out of your job scope—"

"I can't just displace the other guy's samples from the machines. If he gets me kicked out, I won't even be able to help with the rust," Kurogane retorts. He returns to the weighing scale, sets the flask of pale yellow solution down—

Glass shatters.

It happens so quickly that Fai startles. His limbs seize, his throat closes, and he can't even think for a long, long moment.

When he's back in control of himself, chest heaving, breath staggering through his mouth, he realizes that he's messed up some of his petri dishes, that Kurogane—

Kurogane's halfway across the lab, stripping off his goggles and gloves and lab coat and shirt and and and—

Fai stares.

 _What the hell are you doing?_ he wants to say, but Kurogane's in the emptiest corner of the lab, standing right beneath a tall yellow pole that looks like an arching lamppost with a showerhead instead of an actual light. He yanks on the triangular lever hanging down between himself and the pole. There's a gurgle; water gushes out from the showerhead, pattering down on his hair, and he tips his head back, so the spray catches his face, streams down the expanse of his shoulders and back.

Fai doesn't need this. He doesn't need to know what Kurogane's bare back looks like, or how the wet on his arms and shoulders catches the light, or how the lines of his body narrow to his hips, or what sort of a beautiful tight ass Kurogane has, or, or...

Kurogane bends over to yank his shoes and socks off, and Fai stops thinking. His blood thrums in his veins, his heart pounds, and there is no way to vent any of this, so Fai tears his eyes away, turns to the sink to wash his hands so he can pull that patch off because he doesn't need more testosterone right now.

Washing his hands doesn't really help. Neither does scrubbing out under his nails, or his forearms, and by the time he's done washing up to his elbows, the shower cuts off.

He doesn't know if he should look. He badly wants to, and he shouldn't.

"Get me a towel? Your hands are clean," Kurogane says. "Counter just across from me."

"You can't just walk over and get it yourself?" Fai answers, turning the tap off as slow as he can, just so he has something to do with his hands.

"I have acid on the floor. I'm not stepping back out on it. Detour around the breakage, by the way. Glass everywhere there."

Fai tries not to wince. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor, takes the longest way around the lab he can think of, and he can already hear Kurogane rolling his eyes. The moment he glimpses Kurogane in his peripheral vision, he starts opening cabinets.

"Tch. Not that far away. This one here."

Fai looks. Damn himself, but he looks, and Kurogane looks just as good from the front. He's not shaved. He's got everything intact, and Fai's stomach fills with envy first, then other feelings he shoves away. He returns his eyes to the counter. "This one here?"

"Yeah."

Fai locates the right cabinet. It doesn't just have towels in it—there are sets of spare clothes, socks, shoes, and he's quietly glad, because this means he doesn't have to go looking elsewhere for clothes while Kurogane walks around naked in the lab. He stares at the counter, hands Kurogane a towel over his shoulder, and it feels like his eyes are going to burst from how hard he's looking at the metal hinges on the cabinet doors.

"You okay?" Kurogane says after a while.

Fai turns to stare at him, and Kurogane towers above him with his height. The towel's around his waist now, though, and it helps, some. "What?"

"I asked if you're okay."

Of course he isn't, but it's not like Kurogane can solve any of it. "Oh. Um."

"Back when the flask broke," Kurogane says, and he's staring down at Fai, studying him. "You were out of it. Didn't respond when I spoke to you."

"Oh. Um. I'm fine now." Fai tries for a smile, pulls a heap of clothes out into his arms and stands, so he isn't looking across the planes of Kurogane's chest to meet his eyes. "Did you really have to, uh, do the shower?"

 _Naked?_ he doesn't add.

Kurogane rolls his eyes, this time. "Lab protocol. The acid was everywhere."

"Really?" Fai doesn't know how a bit of acid can go everywhere, especially with lab coats that are all but water-repellant, but it's not like he's familiar with working in a lab.

"See this?" Kurogane stretches an arm out, and there are dark streaks along the inside of his elbow, now, that Fai did not notice before. His eyes grow wide; he steps closer, follows the trail across Kurogane's skin. There are dark brown splotches on his throat, winding down between his collarbones to his chest, just as dark as his nipples, almost, and a single line that edges between the smooth muscles of his chest and stomach, ending just before it hits his navel.

Past that, there's a faint dusting of dark hair that sweeps beneath the edge of his towel, and Fai yanks his eyes back up before his attention wanders any further.

"Looks like it's your turn to rust," he says, half-smiling, and Kurogane snorts. He grabs a shirt out of Fai's arms.

"Not funny, idiot. Don't touch the spill. I'll clean it up."

"How did the flask even shatter?"

Kurogane sighs. "The dry acid's sensitive to shock. Some of it must've got onto the bench when I was measuring it out."

Fai looks guiltily away while Kurogane dresses himself. His leg has stopped tingling, now, and the tension in his body has subsided somewhat, so he scratches at his patch through his clothes instead, handing Kurogane his socks and shoes when he's done.

He follows Kurogane back to the benches, after. Halfway through, Fai thinks to ask, "Is it bad if the acid spilled on you? Was that enough rinsing?"

Kurogane shrugs. "It's just a stain now. Takes about a month to fade."

"The acid made it pretty far." Fai thinks back. "You... you weren't trying to talk to me, were you? When you had the acid on you?"

He gets a quiet, unreadable look in return. "What happened to you?" Kurogane says, his voice a low hum.

Fai jerks his shoulders. "Not much. But I hope you didn't subject yourself to all that acid just because of me."

Kurogane doesn't answer his question. Fai scowls, but refrains from annoying Kurogane more than he's already done today.

He waits to a side in silence while the scientist cleans up with wads of newspapers and paper towels, glass shards scraping against the tiled floor of the lab. The waste goes into one of the sample boxes containing rust—picric acid is toxic, and too much of it will overload the Station's sewerage system, Kurogane says. The acid, itself, doesn't seem to have much effect on the alien rust.

Fai shudders and turns away from the blackened sample boxes, ignores the slight stiffness in his cybernetic leg. "After this, we should watch another episode. I think we need to relax."

Kurogane does not disagree.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
2 May 2509, 20:51:48  
Subject: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

Dad raised me well! He says tofu tastes like nothing. :o

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
2 May 2509, 21:23:56  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re:

... Tell your dad to screw himself.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

"I would if I could," Fai snarls. He throws himself into his bed, reaches back for the patch and rips it off, flinging it into a far corner of his room. "Give me one good reason why I should keep that damn thing on."

To the side, Syaoran flashes two spots of yellow. "You need it to regulate your muscle and bone mass. Testosterone also maintains your work performance, your concentration, your sleep, energy, motivation, self-confidence—"

Fai pulls his pillow over his head. "Syaoran," he says, forcing himself to be patient. It barely works. "I don't need an explanation right now."

On his other side, Sakura asks, "What do you need?"

"I just need to fuck someone and I don't have any of the things I need for it," Fai mutters, mashing his mouth into the mattress so they don't hear his exact words. "Damn you, Kurogane."

Or damn himself, or any of his missing parts, but it isn't as though it'd solve his problem. Fai groans, twists his hair around his fingers and tugs hard enough that the pain helps trigger other, less distracting chemicals in his body.

"You're hurting yourself," Syaoran says. He walks over to Fai's bed, lifts his pillow up, and small hands tug on Fai's forearm, pulling his fingers away from his hair. "Can I get you another patch?"

"Not right now. Give me an hour. Or a day. Or a week. Or forever."

"What can we do now?" Sakura asks. She leans over the bed to catch his other hand, holding on to his fingers. "You're not drinking enough water. And you're low on—"

Fai snorts. "Can you believe it? Kurogane said the exact same thing. Neither of you are my mother."

"We care about you," Sakura answers with a reproachful edge to her tone. "You need some food as well."

"Can I just pop some pills?"

"No, there are other minerals present in food," Syaoran points out. "You need fiber in your diet. The pills on the Station do not meet all your needs."

Fai sighs. The persistent need in his body has returned to a low, and he feels better now, if slightly sorry for taking his frustrations out on his children. "I'm sorry about earlier, Syaoran, Sakura. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"We can only help you deal with your human responses as best as we can," Sakura answers. "What does it feel like?"

 _Like I need to sink my teeth into his skin and push into him and make him bare his teeth and growl._

"It feels like... like I'm hungry," Fai says, lamely. "I've told you how that feels like my stomach shrivels up? It decreases in size if I don't fill it?"

"What part of you shrivels when you're aroused?" Syaoran asks.

"...My brain, probably."

"But the human brain does not shrink."

"I meant it figuratively."

The children have not needed books on human sexuality, thus far. Fai hasn't needed them to deal with it often, not when his testosterone dosages are so low that he's been able to ride these instances out by himself, but the image of Kurogane in the lab still haunts him, and he really does not need the distraction at all. Kurogane's not interested in him. He isn't intact enough to satisfy Kurogane.  
That's all there is to it.

"Come on," he tells his children, heaving them both onto the bed with him. "Let's play word games."

They don't object, and Fai is relieved for the change in topic.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
4 May 2509, 08:45:33  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

My dad does not appreciate that sentiment.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
5 May 2509, 10:43:01  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

... Do you tell your dad every damn thing I say?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab


	4. Cripple

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 4: Cripple**

"Is that enough argentite, do you think?" Fai peers around Kurogane's arm, looking at the additional sample box he's just brought in. There happened to be silver ore on one of the planets on this week's schedule, and he jumped at the chance. "Will it take long to refine?"

"I'll need to break it down first," Kurogane answers. "Get an ultrasound disintegrator so we won't have to use as much heat to melt all of it."

The silver-grey lump in the sample box really isn't much—Fai figures that half of it is silver, maybe, but the lab wouldn't even need that much for an analysis. "What about methanol? I have a disintegrator on my ship."

"Methanol comes from fossil fuels, if you can find it. Something carbon-heavy. Not sure how you're gonna collect it though. They're usually pretty deep in the ground."

Fai follows close on Kurogane's heels as he sets the box of silver ore by the side of the lab, on one of the stacks of samples he's brought back, that Touya still has not touched yet. "I'll look it up. What do we do in the meantime?"

"You got another droid part?"

Syaoran's back at the apparatus washer, unloading newly-cleaned glassware. Fai glances at him, at his painstakingly-sanded little body, and bites his lip. "Not yet. I'll come up with one soon."

"We must've gone through all their parts by now," Kurogane says.

He turns to return to his other work, and Fai winces at the grinding creak in his leg, that sends jolts all through his body. He hasn't been doing maintenance on his cybernetic parts ever since the bunch of hours he's put in after the wrestling room incident. There were Sakura's parts to see to, and Syaoran's, and by the time that was done with, he's conveniently forgotten about caring for his own.

This creak, though, sounded worse than all the others he's experienced through the week. Fai resolves to look at it when he gets back to his quarters. He starts for the coat rack, ready to pull one off to help with whatever needs to be done.

"If you're just gonna stand around doing nothing—"

His leg gives out beneath him with a stinging jolt of pain, and Fai flails as he loses his balance, barely catching on to the granite lip of a bench. He swings himself back up, flashes a smile just as Kurogane looks over, and hopes the pain doesn't show on his face.

"What do I do?" he chirps, breath coming shallow and fast.

Kurogane stares at him for a moment too long. "Go help the droid. It'll get me my things faster. He's slow."

Fai doesn't have enough energy in him to do more than pull a face, but he waves and grins anyway. "Sure thing."

The moment Kurogane's back is turned, Fai grabs a pair of gloves from a box, drops down to the floor so he's out of sight. The journey across the lab is slow and awkward when he's crawling on two hands and a leg, but he succeeds in winding away from the experimental benches, into the tall steel shelves where samples and machines and more apparatus are stored.

It takes Fai entire minutes to reach Syaoran. When he does, he pushes himself up onto his fingertips and leans in, whispering, "MokoScript, activate."

Syaoran flashes blue, then yellow.

"Shh," Fai says before he can talk. "Volume at 5%. I need to get out of the lab. But before I can do that, I need you to distract Kurogane so he doesn't see me getting out."

"How?" Syaoran whispers, barely audible. "Your leg— Isn't it better if Kurogane helps you to your quarters?"

Fai shakes his head. "He doesn't need to see this. I don't want him to think that 'borgs are just a liability."

Syaoran flashes green, then. "Okay. What do I do? Are you in pain?"

"A bit. It's nothing. Just... flat voice. Let me get back to the benches, then you go ahead and ask for his help shelving the glassware."

"Do you need me to fetch Sakura?"

Fai chews on his lip, listens out for the glass clinks that indicate Kurogane working on his experiments. "Not right now. When I'm out of the lab, follow me when you can. Don't hurry. Exit as usual."

Syaoran flashes green.

"Good boy. Continue shelving the glassware while you standby. Volume back at 50."

Fai kisses him on the visor. As soon as Syaoran turns back to the apparatus, he shuffles himself back through the shelves, sliding his dead leg slowly across the tiles as silently as he can. This close to the floor, he sees that there aren't any chemical drips around, or much stray hair at all; Syaoran does a wonderful job with lab cleanliness.

"Hey," Kurogane says suddenly. Fai's breath snags in his throat. More quietly, "Where'd the idiot go?"

There are footsteps, and Fai throws himself behind a bench when he hears heavy footsteps across the lab. Kurogane does not pause, or walk any closer, and as soon as he reaches the taller shelves, Fai crawls forward in all earnestness, towards the doors.

Syaoran says something from behind the shelves, and Kurogane answers. Three feet away from the lab entrance, Fai pushes himself onto his working leg, swings himself along the side counter, and taps the unlocking switch.

It's a lot emptier in the corridors of the Station. Everything is white here, unlike the cool blue light and grey equipment of the lab, and Fai hops quickly down the passageway, dead leg thudding emptily along. If Kurogane sees him running now, he'd assume the worst, and maybe Fai wouldn't even have his friendship left by the end of the day.

He only pauses for a breath when he rounds a corner. Then, he regrets not finding something to use as a crutch. There are rails along the corridors, however; the Station has an antigravity system spinning in the middle of it all, but railings are installed anyway, for the event that the system fails and the staff finds itself floating in zero-G.

It takes Fai long minutes to heave himself back to his quarters. Halfway through, Syaoran finds him, and Fai sets a brief hand on his shoulder as thanks.

When the door to his quarters eventually slides open, Fai tumbles in, arms sore, and drags himself the rest of the way inside. He doesn't even move onto his bed, instead leaning against the side of his desk, wriggling out of his pants and reaching blindly for the tools in his drawer.

Syaoran stands nervously by his side, flashing yellow every so often, and when Fai finally unscrews the casing of his thigh, the screwdriver clatters to the floor.

A mass of sprawling, insidious black covers the inner workings of his thigh. It's fuzzy, wrapped around all the surfaces of his parts so it looks like he's got a poisoned heart in his leg, with all its rotted arteries and veins leading out. Wiring, steel supports, hinges, springs—all of it is black, sick, dead and gone, and Fai can't help the way his stomach heaves.

He scrabbles for the bin. Syaoran tugs it over, and Fai's dinner empties itself into the plastic lining, warm and sour and his eyes are watering, his nose is running. He can't even begin to comprehend this, this mess that is in him—how long has it been in him, how much more has it taken, is he going to die?

"Fai," Syaoran says, flashing two spots of yellow, now. Fai has nothing to say in return.

After a while, he croaks, "Get me some water. Please."

He spits to clear the taste from his mouth, and Syaoran brings him water. Fai rinses his mouth out, drinks some to soothe his throat, but he can't do anything about the way his hands are shaking, about the sheer terror that's still frost in his lungs.

"Get me the plastic sheet," he tells Syaoran. The boy obeys, and Fai slides it beneath himself. It doesn't work very well, bunching up in places, but he doesn't have much of a choice, right now.

"Are you scared?" Syaoran asks, quietly. Fai nods. "I think you'll be okay. You've been keeping us from rusting."

Fai doesn't tell him that he hasn't seen anything this bad on them. The words are stuck in his throat, and he needs to get the mess out, first. "Get me the sample box. Make a list of the parts I need."

And this would set him back even more, wouldn't it? He'd need to have Ashura signing off on these parts, and a human to collect this much of it from the Engineering Department. Fai shoves it all to the back of his head.

He focuses on clearing the rust, first. His nitrile gloves from the lab are still on, and he opens the sample box, a layer of rust and metal and paint filings right at the bottom. The rotted parts come off easily. They snap off, leaving bits of black around, and Fai fills the box with the worst of his thigh parts, first. Then, he unscrews his leg from the rest of his body, unscrews the knee joint, biting hard on his lip the entire time, because his nerve receptors are firing off pain signals, and he can't stop them.

Most of the rusted parts come off with a firm shake of his thigh, and Fai sweeps up the rest of the rust on the plastic sheet, deposits it in the sample box and locks it, before using the miniature vacuum on the inside of his leg. He doesn't feel the least bit clean.

It's another hour before everything is as rust-free as he can make it. While that occurs, he has Syaoran type an email on his computer to Ashura, complete with a parts list.

Ashura replies within five minutes, signing it all off, and Fai sighs.

"He really shouldn't," he tells Syaoran.

"He wants you to meet him. He's worried about you."

"I can't explain this to him," Fai moans. "He's the Commander! What's he going to say about this mess?"

Syaoran swivels his hands up and down, and Fai has him print the parts list, complete with Ashura's digital signature and a verification code.

"Bring the list to Kurogane. Take the parts from him when he's out of the Engineering Department. If you can, bring the capsaicin oil back with you. Do not allow him to come here, okay?"

Syaoran flashes green, trots out of the room with the list in hand, and when the door locks behind him, Fai buries his face in his arm.

x

* * *

x

Kurogane stares down the droid next to him. "I'm going with you, damn it."

"Access not granted," the droid answers, tone flat. "Youou Kurogane is to return to the research lab."

"This has something to do with that idiot, doesn't it?" he retorts. The droid flashes green, and Kurogane is going, damn whatever access he's given or not. He left his lab, less one human and one droid, following instructions on a piece of paper like a damn servant fool, and Fai expects him to go back to where he came from, now?

"Tell him to fuck himself," Kurogane says.

"Fai is not able to."

He rolls his eyes. "I didn't mean literally, but whatever."

He stalks behind the tiny machine, all gleaming white, little legs bringing it forward as fast as it can go. Kurogane is still surprised that it can carry as much as it is in its arms, but it demanded all the parts from him, and damn if he's going to spend time arguing with a droid.

They stop in the middle of a corridor that houses a row of janitor's closets, smelling strongly of cleaning agents, and Kurogane almost asks the droid what the hell they're doing here. But he doesn't, and the droid pushes a camouflaged white button by the door they've stopped in front of.

"Droid 1143G reporting."

A beat later, the door slides open, and the first thing Kurogane sees is a pale figure curled up at the back of a tiny, dark, drab (who the hell lives in this) bedroom.

"Thanks, Sy—" Fai's gaze flicks up, locks on Kurogane, and he freezes, eyes growing wide. Then he's moving, arms uncoordinated, shoving a metal part away from himself. He freezes a second time, shoulders growing tense, and yanks the hem of his shirt down between his legs—leg—but Kurogane glimpses the shine of smooth metal before fabric slides over it.

For a moment, he doesn't comprehend. Fai's face drains of all color, and he refuses to look at Kurogane.

"What are you doing here?" Fai yelps, strangled. He ducks his chin, and then all Kurogane can see is the slow surge of red creeping up his neck, towards his ears.

 _Fai has nothing between his legs._

The horror of it strikes his gut like a punch. It's not something he's thought about. He's known about Fai's leg, and his abdomen, but somehow, _somehow,_ he's always assumed Fai was intact. To think of losing any of _that_ — Kurogane doesn't know what to feel about it, aside from horror. He doesn't wish it upon anyone, certainly not Fai. How long has he been living like this?

"Hey, look," he begins, awkward. What do you say to someone who's lost the most defining parts of his masculinity? It's not okay. Kurogane doesn't know if he'd be okay, if it happened to him. He feels a deep ache in his chest; he's sorry for Fai, maybe. With some trouble, he continues, "I was worried about you."

"Well, you— you don't have to. I've got the things I need," Fai mutters, but he's still not looking at Kurogane, he can't look at Kurogane, and Kurogane understands. "Thanks."

"I don't— think of you as any less," he says, haltingly.

Fai laughs. It's low and bitter, and he pulls his pale leg towards himself, hiding his crotch. There's something greenish-black on his leg, though. Kurogane looks closer, realizes it's a tattoo, and it's so similar to the one in his memory that he stares.

"How'd you get that dragon tattoo?" he blurts.

Fai almost looks up at him, but he jerks his eyes back down. "It's a... while ago. Got it in Los Angeles."

"I've seen it before." It's better than talking about the things Fai doesn't have, so he sticks with it. "My dad got it when I was 8. That was... 17 years ago. We moved to LA."

This time, Fai meets his eyes for a moment. "I got it at that time, too," he says quietly. "That's... a coincidence. You know... there was a guy at the shop, now that I think about it. He sort of looked like you. He saw the tattoos we were getting and wanted the dragon one."

"'We'?"

Fai tucks his chin back down. "Yeah. Me and my... other half. He's gone now."

"Oh." Kurogane wants to hit something. He doesn't mean to keep stumbling over people and things that Fai's lost, especially not all at the same time. "Sorry. I just—"

"Do you think that was your dad, though? The man I saw wanted it on his arm."

"Yeah. My dad had it on his arm. From up here—" he gestures to his bicep "—all the way down to the hand, that's where its head was."

"That's, that's pretty amazing." Fai's smiling now, the tiniest bit.

Kurogane waves at his leg. "Can I look at it? Up close?"

Fai winces. He pulls his leg closer to his body so the dragon stretches out in front of him, and Kurogane looks. It's a solid tattoo, a dark, serpentine dragon with a ridged back and a long snout, mouth open in a ferocious snarl. All of it is on this side of Fai's leg, edges fading out with age, and Kurogane moves slowly forward, crouches down in front of Fai.

"It looks good," he says.

Fai gives another tiny smile. "It should."

"You don't really remind me of a dragon, though."

"I'm not one."

"So why'd you get a dragon?"

"Be-Because we wanted to match." Fai shrugs, looks away. "Yuui wanted a phoenix. We didn't want the exact same tattoo, so we agreed that I'd get a dragon. His was on his other leg."

"Oh. Can I sit?"

Fai bites his lip, red fanning across his cheeks. "You... don't mind? I'm missing a leg right now. I need to do some repairs."

Fai isn't entirely opposed to the idea of him staying, so Kurogane sits, lab coat puffing out around him. "You owe me an explanation. One moment you're in the lab. The next moment, both you and the droid are gone."

Fai winces. "Well. I ran into some issues."

He isn't going to elaborate, it seems, so Kurogane looks around the room, sees the clear sample box sitting on his desk. There are machine parts in it, almost entirely black— And Fai's cybernetic thigh is hollow inside. He feels a flare of heat in his chest, then. "Holy shit. That's from your leg? And you didn't tell me?"

Fai waves his droid forward, begins to unload it with one hand. The other's still holding his shirt hem down, fingers splayed out on the floor for balance. "It's not, it's not important."

"The fuck it isn't important! We've been working on it for two fucking months!" Kurogane leans forward, itching to grab Fai's shoulders and shake him, but Fai's half-naked and without a leg right now. It wouldn't be fair to him.

Fai shrugs. He stacks the rest of the parts on the empty floor in front of him.

"Damn it!" Kurogane swings his fist at the wall. It hurts when it connects, but the impact helps dull his need to do _something._ Fai's mouth thins. "You even sent me to Eng., damn you, and you said fucking nothing about it."

"I didn't want to bother you more."

"I'm your friend, damn it! What part of that don't you understand?"

But there is more, there is Fai hiding his hurts from him, Fai too ashamed to even look him in the eye, and Kurogane doesn't know how to solve any of that.

"Look," he says, remembering his mother's diplomacy. "I don't care if you bother me. I want to know your secrets, okay?"

Fai flinches again, and Kurogane sighs. "I'm just not worth your time, Kurogane," he says softly. "I can't, I can't even—"

"Is this about your leg? Or something else?"

Fai blinks rapidly, keeps his face turned down. "You should go, you know."

He huffs a breath, impatient, now, and leans forward on one hand. With his other, he catches Fai's chin, tips his face up, and kisses him.

Fai stiffens, eyes growing wide. This close, they're all blurred out, and Kurogane sees just how very blue they are, like the sky on a cloudless day, back when they were still on Earth.

He pulls away when Fai doesn't respond, suddenly embarrassed. That was a secret, and Fai knows it, now.

Fai doesn't say anything about it, though. His lips are parted, eyes still wide, and the blush is creeping back up his cheeks.

"What 'bout it?" Kurogane mutters, looking away.

"I didn't— Why would you do that?" Fai splutters.

"It's not obvious enough?" he snaps, glancing back because _how much of an idiot can one person be?_

"I'm not, I'm not even really a person," Fai says. "Do you need me to show you?"

"You're a person, damn it! It's not measured by what you have or don't have!" Kurogane glares at him, gives him a shake because damn it, but this guy really needs to be taught a lesson. Before Fai can open his mouth to protest, he says, "Are you interested, or not?"

Fai closes his mouth with a click, and swallows. He looks down, away, anywhere but at Kurogane, and his lashes are pale and long and yellow against his cheeks.

"If you're not interested, I'm gonna go," Kurogane blurts, his skin feeling two sizes too small all of a sudden. He doesn't want to make a fool of himself more than he already has, when Fai is important and his opinion _matters_. He leans forward, pulling his legs up to stand.

"Wait," Fai yelps. His eyes flicker up to look at Kurogane, and his teeth snag his lower lip. "Don't, don't go, I—"

He squeezes his eyes shut, ducks his head down. Long fingers tighten around his shirt hem, knuckles turning white, and his chest heaves.

"I, I don't— How is it even going to work?" Fai's voice is very small, and he shrinks further into himself. "I can't even—"

He stops himself there, and Kurogane frowns. "You can't what?"

Fai winces, twitches the hand by his groin. "I'm no good in bed," he whispers, so quiet that Kurogane almost thinks he misheard.

"We'll figure things out," he answers. "Not the end of the world."

Fai blushes again. He's _still_ not looking at Kurogane, and Kurogane's getting tired of it. "Why even me? There's so many other people on the Station. I mean, you work with Touya. There's plenty of humans around. People with... their entire bodies intact."

Kurogane sighs. "You try your best," he answers. "You might be an idiot, but we agree on a bunch of things. You look good. You're funny. You watch my anime with me."

Fai looks like he wants to disagree, but he does not.

"Look," Kurogane says. "I respect you. I'm glad you're alive. Isn't that enough?"

Fai frowns, mouth moving to form words. He says nothing, though.

"Fix yourself first." Kurogane nods at the cybernetic parts. "Then we'll talk about it."

It's an option Fai prefers, because he gets to work immediately, head bowed, grabbing a screwdriver in his free hand. He slides a furtive look towards Kurogane, slowly releases the hem of his shirt, and when Kurogane says nothing about it, he begins to pick out the parts he needs—connectors, screws, wires.

Kurogane sits with him for what feels like hours. Fai has his droid look up blueprints and manuals on his computer, and Kurogane realizes that it's probably the first time Fai's doing an entire replacement of his leg workings all at once. He fixes parts on, takes them off, and if Kurogane knew how cybernetic parts work, he'd be batting Fai's hands away and doing it himself.

In the meantime, Fai talks to his droid, asking it questions in a way that are probably not quite as rigid as one should be when talking to robots. The droid seems to have a high tolerance for his word variance, though, and Fai's not quite as stiff as how he addresses his droids in the kitchen.

"Do you think I should install the support first? Or make the connections first? I really don't... want to have to undo the connections. It'll hurt again, and that sucks."

"Install everything in the thigh module first," the droid answers. "Did you check your abdominal cavity?"

"Yeah, I did earlier. Thanks."

When Fai's almost done with his leg, he uses a brush to coat the insides of his parts with capsaicin oil. At least the rust research was good for something, Kurogane thinks.

"How'd you even get the rust in your leg? And not anywhere on the outside?"

Fai shrugs. "I don't know. I wash the outside when I shower. You'd think that'd be the first place to rust."

"Maybe you washed the rust off before it can take," Kurogane says, thinking about rust particles heading into the Station's sewerage. There are staff working on the filtration systems, though. They'd have brought the matter up if there was trouble.

"It could have happened when I folded my leg," Fai says, brow furrowed. "These parts allow for water to slide off in certain directions. It could have... entered when my leg was twisted up the wrong way."

It's not a comforting thought to have. "You should check your parts more often," Kurogane tells him. "That had t've been around... two weeks for it to get so bad."

Fai grimaces.

He has the droid inspect his torso interface before the leg goes on, and it flashes a spot of green. Fai winces when he installs his leg, fixing on the screws at the back with the aid of a mirror. When the leg is finally back on, he flexes it, all silvery plates and joints, and Kurogane has to admit that it doesn't look half bad.

"Work okay?"

"Good enough, I guess." Fai sets his tools down, rolls forward onto his feet, and takes a step, then another. There's a slight limp to his gait, though, that Kurogane notices when he walks around the cramped space of his room.

"You're limping."

"It doesn't hurt."

"You're gonna pull something," Kurogane says. "Can't start off with a limp and expect it to get better."

Fai walks awkwardly back, crouches down, and gathers up his tools, thighs pressed together. "I'll... fix it soon. I'm really tired right now."

"You'll go to the Eng. Dept. tomorrow."

Fai makes a face. "No, I'll just... fix it myself."

Kurogane frowns. "I'll go with you if it makes them fix you better."

"No. It's fine. You really don't have to."

"What if I want to?"

Long fingers curl around gleaming wrenches, and Fai hesitates. "Am I... some kind of pet experiment to you?"

" _No._ Look, I want you to stop worrying about all this so— So I can." He heaves a deep sigh, reaches out to catch Fai by his nape, and tugs him close. Fai's hair is fine and wispy, slightly damp at the roots, and his eyes are wide as he all but falls into Kurogane's lap, squawking, tools scattering, hands scrambling for leverage and ending up high on his thighs. But Fai protests to none of this, when Kurogane kisses him again, and he slowly kisses back, his mouth soft and wet and how is he anything but human?

They stay like that for some time, slow kisses that are just tugs and slides of their lips, and it feels good. When Fai pulls away, a rosy tint to his cheeks, Kurogane doesn't complain.

"So we're doing this?" he asks.

Fai's tongue darts out over his lips. "I... I guess."

It's not the exact answer he's hoping for, but Kurogane is willing to take it. He kisses Fai again, a little bolder this time, and when Fai leans in, pushing tentatively closer, Kurogane tugs on the lower half of his shirt. "On me," he mutters against Fai's mouth, their breaths damp, slow, heavy puffs against skin.

"Are you sure?"

"If I'm not sure, I wouldn't be asking."

So Fai climbs hesitantly into his lap, tugging his shirt hem down, and Kurogane wraps his arms around his narrow frame, bringing him close. This, too, feels good. He's wanted this for a while, and Fai smells sweaty, if a little sour. Pale hands come up to cling to his arms, cautious, and Kurogane presses his face to that narrow shoulder, breathing him in. Something in his chest eases.

"We really shouldn't be doing this," Fai murmurs.

"Feels good."

Fai doesn't answer.

They sit like this for a long stretch, enough that when Fai begins to pull away, Kurogane finds himself reluctant to let go. "You coming back to the lab tomorrow?"

"After, after Touya leaves. I need to see to the, to my droids first."

"Okay. I'll see if there's disintegrators around. If not, I'll need to borrow yours."

"I'll bring it, then. I'll be there at 1830." Fai's eyes flick up at him, and Kurogane leans in, drags his nose up his cheek. "I didn't... think you were this touchy."

"Shut up," Kurogane says, but he kisses the idiot again just to be sure.

Things are good, now, when Fai leans slowly in with a sigh and lets Kurogane's mouth slide against his. It's a step forward in the right direction, and Kurogane doesn't need to hope for much more.

x

* * *

x

"I think it's better if you let us run MokoScript instead of putting us on standby," Sakura says to Fai some time later.

Fai has cleaned his entire floor and all the surfaces of his desk, and his bed linens are bundled in a corner of the room, ready to be sent to the laundry. He feels a little cleaner, now, a little better. Still not quite over the fact that he and Kurogane were kissing for so long. It's not something he expected, or wants, to happen between them.

"I've told you, it's dangerous," he answers, on his knees in the bathroom, scrubbing everything out just in case. It's fortunate that there is water readily available in the room, that he'd had the chance to dump his vomit before Kurogane showed up. If he'd kept it around, maybe Kurogane would have left, and maybe that would have been a better alternative.

His stomach flops, and it's not because of the rust, now.

"Syaoran showed me the camera log," Sakura protests, flashing yellow on the threshold of the bathroom. "You were in bad shape. We couldn't have helped you if we didn't know what was going on. Syaoran and I are concerned, Fai."

"As far as I know, that was a one-off incident. It won't happen again, you know. I won't worry you like that."

"What if an accident happens to Syaoran while we aren't aware? We should prepare for that scenario."

Fai can't help the uneasiness settling into his gut. "It is also dangerous for you to roam the Station as an AI, Sakura. What if you forget?"

"I won't forget."

He sighs. "Let me think about it, okay? We'll talk more about it when we're back on the Sparrow. It's not really safe here."

Sakura flashes a green and yellow—a combination Fai hasn't seen before.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm unhappily agreeing with you."

"Like I said, let me consider it. The danger's over now, and you and Syaoran are on full autonomy once we leave the Station, anyway. You don't really spend much time on standby aside from when you do your other assigned duties."

Green and yellow, again.

Fai heaves another sigh, abandons his sponge, and rinses his hands off. When he pulls Sakura into a hug and kisses her, she makes an off-key sound.

"What was that for?"

"In the books you gave me, children are said to disagree with acts of intimacy," Sakura explains. "Your mouth still has traces of Kurogane's saliva."

Fai stares. The sweep of heat up his face is slow and inexorable, and he tries to gather the crumbs of his thoughts together. "Um. I'm sorry. I forgot about that. Does it really matter?"

He pulls his shirt up to wipe at the spot on her visor, though, and cleans his mouth with the other side.

"I think that's better," Sakura informs him. "Can you kiss me again?"

He does, and she flashes two spots of green, this time.

"Don't forget to go to the Engineering Department tomorrow."

"I'll go," he says dryly. "Or Kurogane will march me there, I'm sure."

"There's a good boy." Fai frowns, and Sakura flashes two spots of green, multiple times.

"What's _that_ for, Mother?"

More flashing green. "I'm laughing. You're funny, Fai."

"I'm not," he says, but he's grinning along with her. "I'm glad you're able to laugh, flower baby. That's very important, you know."

"I know."

Fai doesn't doubt that she does.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
12 May 2509, 14:17:46  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

Dad is a very sweet person. He doesn't deserve to have you being rude to him. :(

Anyway, Yuki has approved a 20% increase in soybean production.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
13 May 2509, 16:14:11  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

I don't even know him.

Thanks, kid.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

In between Gundam episodes, Kurogane turns Fai around on his swivel chair, and kisses him. Fai has learned to expect it by this point. He doesn't lean away to protest, and neither does he try as hard to convince Kurogane that there are better, more suitable people out there. Instead, he brings his hands up, cradling Kurogane by the sides of his face because this is a precious gift, one that is given freely, and that Fai will treasure forever.

When he pulls away, Kurogane reaches around to the back of his computer screen. Fai looks on in mild curiosity, and his eyes grow round when he sees the two tiny figurines on Kurogane's wide palm, mostly silver wiring, save for the black plastic that wraps around their heads.

It's the single, most thoughtful gift that anyone has given him. He can't really look at them closely through the sudden blur in his eyes, but he can feel Kurogane setting them in his palms, and they're delicate and light and they must've taken forever to make.

"I, I wasn't expecting that," he says, his throat tight. He wipes his face off on his sleeve, and Kurogane is in focus again, a tiny, proud smile on his mouth. "I mean, you didn't have to—"

"I based it off that one there." Kurogane nods towards Syaoran, who's back at the apparatus washer loading glassware. "Thought you'd like it."

"I do. It's not even my birthday." Fai turns them carefully over in his hands, looks at the smooth twists of wires that show where each metal casing is, from the tiny hands down to their little chunky feet. He wants to call Syaoran over and show it to him. "How do I even repay you?"

"Tch. I didn't do it for something in return." But it's there in his eyes, something hopeful, and Fai doesn't have to be a genius to know.

He leans forward, figurines cradled in his lap, and kisses Kurogane. It's the very first he's giving Kurogane since the three weeks they've kind of been together, and Kurogane presses closer, angling his face to mesh their mouths more thoroughly.

The kiss is slow and sweet. It makes his pulse jump, and it makes Fai think maybe he can repay Kurogane another way, but the lab doors slide open, and they're jerking apart even as someone curses foully behind them.

"Can't you get a fucking room," Touya snaps. "This is a lab."

Fai can't even turn around. The skin on his head is burning, and he did not mean to have anyone see him this vulnerable. Apparently, neither did Kurogane.

"Maybe you don't have to see that if you actually remembered your damn things," Kurogane retorts, a faint flush on his cheeks.

"Maybe you should get out and find better things to do with your time." Touya storms over to his desk, and Fai doesn't want to even peek at him. He's certain that the look on Touya's face will be more terrible than he imagines. "I expected better of you, Kurogane."

It's no secret that Touya really means Kurogane should aim higher than someone like Fai, and Fai wishes he didn't have to provide that reminder. He's been doing his best not to draw attention to his missing parts, and just like that, Touya shatters all his efforts.

Red eyes flick towards the door. Fai understands that Yuki is standing there, waiting. The two are seeing each other—not ultimately the goal of the Station, but it's not something Fai wants to dabble in. Good for them. Maybe if he were a different person, Fai would understand what Yuki sees in Touya, but he isn't that person in this lifetime.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that," Kurogane growls.

"You lost family too, Kurogane. Don't tell me you don't know what it feels like. Don't you fucking dare."

Kurogane's eyes blaze, and Fai doesn't want to imagine being on the receiving end of them. He doesn't think about it. Instead, he waits for the doors to slide shut, and sets his hand on Kurogane's knee to bring him back.

"Sorry," he says. "I should... probably go."

"No, you're staying here with me." Kurogane stares at him, fierce, and Fai forgets to breathe.

He's helpless when Kurogane pulls his chair close, again, sandwiches Fai's legs between his thighs, and the next kiss they share feels like bliss and drowning and heat and want.

He whimpers when Kurogane pulls away, follows him for more, and his blood is humming in his veins, a desire that Fai cannot quiet. He can act on it, though. Kurogane's breath hitches when Fai trails a hand down to the waistband of his pants, and he turns his face just enough to break the kiss, his mouth damp on the corner of Fai's. A large hand closes around his wrist. "Not here," he breathes. "It's not right."

"What's right?" Fai whispers back.

"I want you in my bed." Kurogane's breath brushes slow over his cheek, and Fai feels hot and cold and he doesn't know what to think. "But only if you want it too."

"I, I... Let me think about it," Fai says, and Kurogane releases him.

"Okay." Kurogane leans back in his seat, continues to watch him, and Fai glances down at his lap. There's a visible bulge in his pants that Fai has to drag his eyes away from, and Fai _wants._ He wants his own. He wants Kurogane's. Maybe he can use his hands and mouth, and that'll be enough to keep Kurogane around for some time.

Neither of them are really paying attention when Kurogane plays the next Gundam episode, but it gives him space to think, and Fai doesn't whine about it.

He comes up with an idea when it's getting late and Kurogane's starting to yawn. "Have you been to the Farm? At night, I mean."

"No, why?"

"It's beautiful! Do you want to see it with me?"

"Sure." Kurogane's smiling again, that tiny quirk of his mouth, and Fai grins back.

While he waits for Kurogane to check on the machines and processes before they leave, Fai turns the little figurines of his children over in his hands. They're beautifully made, with fine wire tracing the detail on their fingers and their joints, and thicker, stronger wire for their limbs and supports. Fai doesn't know what he'd use to differentiate them, but he's decided that the one with her arms spread is Sakura, and the one with his arms by his sides is Syaoran.

"Got names for them?" Kurogane asks when he steps up to the lab doors.

"Maybe." Fai grins at him. "I'm not telling you."

"How do you tell them apart?" Kurogane hits the unlocking switch, and they step out at the same time. Fai lets him lace their fingers together.

"It comes with age."

"I've been around these things for years, damn it." Kurogane elbows him, and Fai yelps. "Tell me."

"Nope."

"Damn you."

"How have you not seen the Farm at night?" Fai asks, turning them down one corridor after another. "It's really incredible."

"What're you doing at the Farm at night?" Kurogane retorts. "I have no reason to be there."

Fai doesn't tell him about quiet picnics with his children, but that's not something Kurogane needs to know, anyway. "Enjoying the view. The Farm is a special place, you know."

Kurogane shrugs. "Been in there for samples. It's not much. Just plants and tanks of fish."

"You haven't seen anything, then."

He doesn't answer to Kurogane's questioning look. Kurogane nudges him again, and Fai complains, but they're familiar enough with each other by now that neither of them pays it any mind.

It's late when Fai taps his ID on the scanner by the Farm entrance.

"You have access here?" Kurogane asks. Fai shrugs.

"I have access to some places."

They fall silent when the doors slide open. Inside, the Farm is a yawning, cavernous room, quite possibly one of the biggest open areas on the Station. There are rows upon rows of pipes, stacked vertically like library shelves, with plants growing at fixed intervals along each pipe. Bunched fibers hang down from the ceiling above each row, but their ends are dark, now, and the rows are bathed in a peaceful dimness.

In the middle of the Farm are aquariums—some flat and sprawling, with rice plants growing out of most of the water's surface, some tall and wide, with large, egg-bearing fishes, some stacked on top of each other, a safe space for eggs to hatch. The aquariums are all lit with little yellow bulbs, points of brightness that now illuminate the shadows of the Farm, and the gurgling of the tanks is the only sound in this vast space.

It's this very hush that Fai leads Kurogane into. The chickens on board are quiet, now, and the bright lights have all been dimmed. Come daybreak, the Farm will be flooded in bright white, lit by the very same optical fibers that transmit light from their parent star to the various rooms on the Station. At night, however, the light energy is converted to stored electricity, and the Farm sleeps.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Fai asks, leading Kurogane through stacked tanks with printed blue backgrounds, tiny fish swimming slowly in them.

Kurogane's face is full of shadows, lit by the faint yellow of the aquariums, and he looks almost predatory like that, sharp jaw and strong nose, and those intent dark eyes.

"Yeah." Kurogane spends some time looking around in the darkness, pupils wide, and Fai laughs, suddenly.

"I can see you as a ninja, sneaking through all these aquariums at night," he whispers. "With your huge sword and your black outfit. Maybe with a cape."

"Ninjas don't have capes."

"Well, you'll have one. I say so." Kurogane elbows him, and Fai grins. "No? You'll be climbing up all these vegetable pipes, hiding from the enemies so you can surprise them with your huge, showy moves. Don't use any lightning attacks, though. You'll fry the fish."

"Idiot," Kurogane says, but he's not frowning in the least. "If I'm a ninja, what are you?"

"A priest, maybe? Priestess? Someone with magic. Then I'll be able to magic us some cows."

Kurogane snorts. "You and your cows."

"I miss having steaks."

"Better in stews."

"Well, that means you haven't had a really good steak," Fai tells him. "If we ever get our hands on beef, I'll show you."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

They stroll through the rows of aquariums, looking at the stillness of the rice plants, and the bob of duckweed as fish nibble at them from below. When they reach the end of an aquarium row, Fai spots a movement in the corner of his eye, and Kurogane turns to look.

It's one of the droids working at the Farm, cleaning off dust from the vegetable pipes. Fai is almost certain that it's Sakura. Then Kurogane yawns again, and Fai smiles at him.

"We should be going, huh? It's getting late."

"Yeah." Instead of heading for the door, Kurogane steps up close and kisses him, and Fai's heart flutters. "Thanks. For showing me all this."

"You like it?"

"Yeah."

Fai smiles into the kiss, then, and allows himself to pull Kurogane closer, to feel safe in the heat of his body. "It's my thanks for the little droids," he says, waving them in his other hand. "I really like them."

"Idiot," Kurogane mutters.

"Maybe I am, huh?" He hugs Kurogane briefly, then releases him, guiding them back to the doors. "You must be a bigger idiot to be doing this with me."

"'M not."

But he is, Fai thinks. Who else would get so close to someone who has two AIs on board the Station?

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
29 May 2509, 08:12:49  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

Maybe you've met my Dad somewhere or other. It's a small Station.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
30 May 2509, 15:34:46  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

What's his name?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab


	5. Falling

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 5: Falling**

 _I've delayed your mission schedule by a day. Please drop by my office, Fai, I haven't seen you in person in a while. That leg of yours concerns me._

"How do you shit?"

Fai looks up from his phone, feeling as though his mind has just been catapulted across time and space. "What?"

Kurogane repeats his question. "You said you don't have an ass."

He sets his phone down on the corner of Kurogane's desk and pulls a face. "I have one. It just... is not functional."

"So answer my question."

He winces. "There's really not much to it. I have waste storage that needs to be emptied every so often. Is there anything more unsexy that you can think of to talk about?"

"Yeah, but we're not going there." Kurogane reaches for his mouse, double-clicks to open a new video. "What's the Commander want from you?"

"I was supposed to meet him some weeks ago. After he signed off on my leg parts." At Kurogane's raised eyebrows, Fai sighs. "I don't know what to say. About the leg, and the rust, and all of this mess. We still aren't any closer to finding a solution to the rust."

"Just say we're working on it."

"And not mention that we still don't have a solution? It's a problem that has the potential to do great damage on the Station."

"It's not necessary to isolate it," Kurogane points out. "Your droids have been doing fine. Your ship's fine."

"But the fact remains that none of those were in quarantine before we discovered that."

"It's not airborne. We tested it on fresh parts with no rust. It didn't take. 'S long as there's no impact of rust on metal, we're fine."

"I guess there's that," Fai admits, uneasy.

"The only other way to kill it would be to melt the metal completely. That's not gonna work very well in the Station. We'd need a lot more oxygen and burnables. Or electricity."

"Yeah, unless the parts are shipped en masse to the GPG." Fai doesn't want to think about that, so he taps Kurogane on the thigh. "Next episode? I really like Cagalli."

"You like girls?"

Fai shrugs. "Girls are cute. Boys are cute too. But I really like Cagalli in her uniform."

"You got a thing for people in uniform." Kurogane watches him, contemplative, and Fai answers with a sheepish grin.

"Doesn't everyone? Mine kind of sucks, though."

"Your uniform looks good." Kurogane's eyes trail down his front, even though he's just in a shirt and jeans today, and Fai swallows. "But this is fine too."

"Did you bring all your episodes to your quarters just to seduce me?" He grins, uncertain, but the promise is there in Kurogane's eyes, and he's tempted, and he shouldn't.

"More like so that bastard won't walk in and be an idiot."

"That's very thoughtful of you."

"Just keeping control over the situation."

But Fai is aware, and Kurogane is aware, that there's a bed not a few paces from them. They've been kissing more, now, hands roaming, and Fai knows very well some of what Kurogane wants. He can do that much for Kurogane.

He drags his eyes back to the Gundam models on Kurogane's desk. There are taller ones in his room that aren't in the lab, and there are framed photos of people—a man, a woman, a boy and a girl. The man is broad-shouldered, his face very similar to Kurogane's, and the woman is tiny next to him, pale and smiling. Kurogane's about 10 in that photo, all scrawny, and the girl is younger, sharing the same eyes as their mother. The photos are all yellowed with age, and Fai knows not to ask about Kurogane's family.

Instead, he nods at the swords on the wall. "You fight with swords?"

Kurogane looks at the swords for a few moments. They're curved, narrow things, sheathed in lacquered black, with worn, twisted cloth wrapped around the handles, and Fai understands that these are family heirlooms. "Used to. These days it's just wrestling."

"You could teach me how to fight. Provided you don't kill me first."

Kurogane rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to kill you, idiot."

"So, will you?"

"Sure."

"Are you going to start me off on an actual sword?"

"No. A piece of steel is enough."

"You don't trust me with a sword? I'm offended."

"I trust you with a knife. That's about all." But Kurogane is smiling, and Fai leans forward to punch him on the shoulder. What he doesn't expect, though, is for Kurogane to snag his wrist in one hand, tug him over so his borrowed chair rolls across the floor, and their armrests bump.

When they kiss, it's not something unusual anymore. Fai has learned the slide of Kurogane's mouth, the scrape of his stubble, the way his teeth close on his lip, at least until he drags his nails down strong arms, and Kurogane's breathing hitches.

Today, his hands are caught in dark hair, Kurogane's mouth is open against his, hand heavy on his human knee, and Kurogane trails wet kisses down his jaw, down his throat, teeth skimming over his skin. Fai whimpers when he sucks a bruise into the base of his neck, damp and hot, tongue dragging, one large hand curled around the side of his ribs.

"Bed," Kurogane mutters against his skin, low and firm, and Fai's missed this too much to refuse. He breathes a _yes_ , and Kurogane's hauling him easily across the few meters to his bed. He lands somewhat gently; Kurogane crawls over him, kisses him again, and Fai's lost to him, lost in the heat of Kurogane's body against his, the slow slide of his tongue, the press of an erection against his hip.

Kurogane slips a hand up his shirt, thumbs a nipple, and Fai groans into his mouth, blood thrumming, unable to do anything but ride this wave wherever it takes him. He reaches down, snags his fingers through the loops of Kurogane's jeans, yanks him closer, and Kurogane's body is a distracting, delicious weight on his, and Fai wishes—

He pushes his hand down between them, past rough denim, finds the moist tip first, then the rest of that solid, smooth length, and he feels the echoing emptiness in him, the part of him that misses. For an instant, Fai pretends it's his own, following the silky straightness of it, all the way to the base, and Kurogane grinds into his palm, heavy and wet, leaving slick up his wrist.

He could touch Kurogane like this forever, he thinks hazily. It doesn't solve anything, but Kurogane feels good, and he _wants._

"Get my pants off first," Kurogane mutters against his mouth, his breathing shallow and uneven. "Damn tight with your hand inside."

Fai doesn't, and it's Kurogane who rolls off to shuck his jeans and boxers and socks. He pauses at his shirt, looks up at Fai. "D'you want this off?"

Fai's throat is too dry to speak, so he nods. His eyes glue to the smooth, scarred skin of Kurogane's body, the sculpted muscle of his abs and chest and biceps and thighs. Faint traces of darker brown still linger down his chest and arms, stains from picric acid, and Fai stares guiltily at them. He can't really believe that he's here with Kurogane, right now.

"You wanna strip?" Red eyes flick over him, and Fai shakes his head. Kurogane doesn't insist, instead climbing over him again and kissing him so thoroughly that Fai can't think straight anymore, not with Kurogane naked over him like that, not with his hand full of smooth, hard cock, and it's been so long since he's done this that Fai doesn't rush through this at all, when he strokes Kurogane and a growl rumbles from that throat.

Kurogane trails biting kisses down his neck, to his collarbones, bites lightly on his nipple through his shirt, and Fai gasps, his fingers clenching tight. Kurogane's hips jerk in response, slipping through the circle of his hand, and Fai wants more, suddenly. He still wishes, and it still aches to be not-intact, and his body is humming and needy, but he wants this more. Kurogane doesn't mind doing this with him.

When he pushes on Kurogane's shoulder, he pulls away, chest rising and falling, lips red and wet, and Fai pushes again, so he sits back on the bed, cock jutting up between his legs. Fai descends on it without a pause, nosing it, breathing in its muskiness, licking at the moisture at its tip, and Kurogane makes a tiny, strangled sound, his throat working.

It's too easy to draw a reaction out of this fierce fighter of a man, when Fai wraps his fingers around him, drags down so the skin at his tip stretches and pulls, and he leans in, breathing on his exposed tip.

"Fuck," Kurogane hisses, rolls his hips up.

Fai smiles wryly. "I used to top, you know," he says, licks a wet line down, and the shiver that ripples through Kurogane's body makes him a little more confident.

"Still can if you—" Fai pulls his skin down again, licks at his tip, and Kurogane groans "—fuck! Use a replacement."

Fai stares up at him, thoroughly surprised. "You... don't mind? Both the replacement and... being a bottom?"

Kurogane shrugs. "Fine with me."

For a moment, Fai just looks at him, awed and disbelieving, his chest growing tight. He doesn't deserve this man, Kurogane who is strong and brave and whole, who doesn't judge him for what he's lost, or who he is.

But his other words sink in, and Fai remembers what they're doing, remembers the heaviness in his hand. He licks at Kurogane again, takes him into his mouth, and Kurogane swears, leaning back so he can thrust up. When he has enough spit, Fai dribbles some on his fingers, thumbs over Kurogane's tight, drawn balls, and trails his knuckle down to the pucker of his entrance.

Kurogane's chest heaves. Fai teases him with slow, circling fingers, and he bares his teeth. "Damn you."

"Should I make you beg?"

"No," Kurogane mutters, glaring, and Fai smiles, pulls off his cock with a soft _pop_. It's all slick, now, flushed, and Fai's glad that it's his first after such a long time. He leans in to lick at it, sliding a finger in, and Kurogane's nostrils flare.

They don't talk much from there, when Fai eases more fingers into him, stretching, and Kurogane grits his teeth until Fai hooks his fingers, and the sound that slips from Kurogane's throat is high and helpless, and he's swelling in Fai's mouth, dripping slick onto his tongue, his thighs jerking.

Fai hollows his cheeks, taking as much of Kurogane as he can. When he presses his fingers against that one spot and Kurogane's hips snap up, and Kurogane shoves so deep into his mouth that he gags, his pulse thunders in his ears, and he's restless, so restless, and he hasn't got enough and he needs release, and he can't.

Kurogane comes hard into his mouth after a bitten-off warning, and it's hot and bitter down his throat, his mouth full and his fingers snug, and Fai needs so much, so badly, that he's shaking and he doesn't know what to do with it.

He pulls away when Kurogane sags back into his bed, hurrying into the bathroom to wash his hands, but neither cool water nor the mirror helps. His groin tingles, almost as though he can feel something there, but Fai knows it's a lie. Nothing will happen if he tries to scratch that itch.

When he emerges from the bathroom, Kurogane's eyes hone in on him, and he tries for a smile. "What do you think?"

"How're you doing?" Kurogane glances down, at his hips, and Fai shrugs, wincing. "Still horny?"

"Yeah. It'll probably help if I were a vampire, you know. I'd suck your blood and be done with it. Feed off your hormones."

"Tch. C'mere." Kurogane pats the bed next to him, and Fai stares at the bronze length of his body, at the sheer strength of it all, and it doesn't help when he sees the white drops clinging to Kurogane's tip. He gulps.

The moment he sits on the bed, Kurogane wraps his arms firm around his waist, hauling him backwards, and Fai yelps. What he doesn't expect are the kisses that are pressed to his back, dotting up his spine all the way to his nape. Kurogane turns him around, then, kisses his ear and his jaw and his cheek, and then down to his chest, dropping kisses onto his belly, all the way to the hem of his shirt.

He freezes when Kurogane brings a hand up to move the shirt hem. The constant buzz in his body fizzles out somewhat, and he watches in trepidation as Kurogane kisses up the gleaming metal plates of his abdomen, to the ugly, ridged scars of his stomach, to the fainter ones on his chest. The bruises have long faded away, now, leaving pale skin behind.

When Kurogane finally kisses him on the mouth, Fai is a lot calmer than before, and a lot shaken. "Why would you do that?"

"As thanks." Kurogane looks at him like that's the most obvious answer ever.

"But I'm... it's ugly."

"It's part of you. Not ugly."

Fai feels like crying, suddenly, and he looks away, blinking rapidly so his eyes don't get the wrong idea. "I don't think I deserve you," he says, his throat tight. "You're probably too good to be true."

"Tch." Kurogane pulls him down onto the bed so they're lying down together, with space on either side for them both. Fai's own bed isn't even half this size. "You think too much."

"One of us has to think."

"At least think about the right things when you think."

"And what is that?"

"You wanna watch more anime, or d'you wanna sleep?"

Fai snorts. "That's the right thing to think about? I can't believe you."

"You have an answer?"

"I... think I want to watch more anime. Cagalli in her uniform."

"... You sure have a thing for her."

"A thing for people in uniforms. There's a difference!"

Kurogane rolls his eyes, but his lips are quirked, and he leans over the edge of the bed to pull some clothes back on. Fai lets his eyes wander over that expanse of skin.

"Are you sure it's okay if I spend the night here?"

"D'you see anyone else around to say no?" Red eyes flick over at him, and Fai returns with a sheepish grin.

"I guess not."

Kurogane climbs out of bed to get the next episode playing. When he settles back in, he pulls Fai against himself, one arm snug around his waist. The theme song plays tinnily from his speakers, and the subtitles are too small to be read from this distance, but Fai doesn't mind.

It's peaceful, nice, quietly domestic, and he hopes it'll last for some time yet.

x  
x

The Commander's office lies along a corridor housing other important rooms, such as the control room, the communications chamber, and the data server room. Of these, Control and Communications are the most fully occupied, with droids and people both bustling in and out at all hours of the day. The people, in particular, always look as though there are asteroids on their very heels, doomed to strike them should they move any slower.

Fai takes care to edge by all these people. He keeps to the sides of the corridor where the droids plod along, one direction on each side, keeping his eyes on the white floors and little white bodies so no one can assume he wants to pick a fight with them.

At the doors to the Commander's office, Fai scans his ID and waits. Seconds later, the doors slide open, and the Commander's assistant looks up from her computer screen. She's blonde like him, familiar, and she waves him through the sitting area with a grin. "He's been waiting to see you," she whispers. "He told me to reschedule meetings if they come up."

Fai smiles his thanks, knocks twice on the next set of doors. It isn't long before they, too, slide open before him.

"Ah, Fai. I was hoping to see you sooner than later. Do have a seat."

Ashura's greeting is smooth and calm, but Fai hears the excitement threaded through it. Across the open, carpeted floors of his office, he cuts a stately figure, pale and old and poised, black hair swept back from his face. To the rest of the people, Ashura is Commander and leader, the one in charge of all operations on board Clow Station.

"Are you well?" Fai's godfather says, even before Fai's halfway across the room, and Fai cracks a smile.

"Yes, I am. What about you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. But I have been worried about you, Fai," Ashura continues when he takes a seat in one of the cushioned chairs on this side of the desk. "You have not been forthcoming with your emails."

Fai winces. "I was busy for a bit. Sorry."

"That was far too long for you to be busy." His godfather frowns, leans forward. "Should I have your roster reduced?"

"No! No, please don't," Fai blurts. He can't have the rest of the cyborgs thinking he's using his connections to slack off. Just the ramifications alone... "I have been managing better."

"That's good to hear." Ashura peers at him, pulling his steepled fingers apart to pick up a pen with silvery steel casing. "The Engineering Department informed me that you were in for repairs. And right before that, you requested that parts list—what happened to you?"

"I had a small problem with my leg. It's fixed now, though. I'm fine."

"Was it severe? That was a very long list."

"No, not at all." Fai smiles uneasily, thinking about endless black and spots on his children's bodies. "I fixed it myself. The trip to the Engineering Department was to get some adjustments done."

Kurogane followed him there anyway, and his wait was halved, the stares not quite as reproachful. He still owes Kurogane something for that trip.

"I'm glad. I will waive the EEA penalty on those parts you requested—"

"No, I'll accept it," Fai hurries to say. "I've found a planet with a high concentration of EEA. It'll be enough to cover what I've used. Enough for many more cybernetic parts, actually."

Cyborgs, by nature of their biological and mechanical parts, require a connector to bridge the gap between organic synapses and inorganic sensors. To do that, EEA is the most suitable material used for the bridging, and it is also the limiting material that decides whether a cybernetic part is built for the next person. Clow Station places a penalty on each cyborg that receives EEA implants; where possible, the cyborgs will venture into space to replace the materials they've used.

Ashura frowns. "Is it enough to cover your first penalty?"

"Yes. One of the samples I brought back has a 5% reading on EEA. It hasn't been approved by the lab yet, but I'm waiting for them to give the green light on it. There's quite a bit more where that came from, actually. I'm really hoping to get us more materials for the amputees."

"We should shorten the waitlist where we can," Ashura agrees. "Send me the sample number, and I'll get Touya to test that first."

Fai bites down a grimace, nods. "I'll send you the details as soon as I get back to my desk."

"Good, good. Now, tell me about the other things you've been doing, son." His godfather looks hopefully at him, eyes lighting up. "New projects? Friends?"

Fai tries not to squirm. He does not deserve all this kindness when Ashura still isn't aware of his children, when Ashura has the rest of the Station to care for, and Fai is just a cyborg now, anyway. The less his godfather knows of his problems, the less he'll try to help, and the fewer people will come to begrudge Fai of this relationship.

Fai should have died three years ago, but Ashura ordered for him to be saved, and the Station hates him for it, now.

He breathes out. "Not much has happened, actually. I... made a new friend at the labs. Kurogane."

"You made a new friend! That's good news. How is Kurogane doing with the Aquaponics samples?"

"He's doing well. We've been watching TV together." But that's not all they've been doing, and the thought of it sends heat creeping up his face. Fai hasn't blushed over sex in a long, long time. Probably a decade or two.

Ashura notices. He breaks into a fond smile and reaches over to pat Fai on the shoulder. "Why don't you have lunch with me? We can talk more about Kurogane, if you like."

Fai doesn't know if that's a great idea, but he nods. "I'd love to have lunch with you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Ashura's smile grows, and Fai realizes that he's missed talking to this man. This is the only person on the Station who knows most of his history, after all.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
3 Jun 2509, 12:23:05  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Kurogane,

Dad is shy, he doesn't want you to know.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
3 Jun 2509, 13:29:55  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Fine.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

"What did Ashura say to you?" Syaoran waits by a side while Fai spreads a new plastic sheet over the floor, waving Sakura onto the middle of it. "Did you talk about the rust?"

"Actually, we did not." Fai grimaces. He tilts Sakura's head up to check on the flower sticker beneath her chin. There's thankfully no rust around it, unlike Syaoran's—he had to tear off Syaoran's book sticker so the rust there could be worked on, and it was fortunate that there was another sticker lying around. The new one's a rocket, though. It doesn't fit Syaoran as much as the book did, but Fai isn't sure the School will let him sneak another sticker set away again. "I didn't mention it at all. We talked about Kurogane instead."

"Does he know Kurogane's your boyfriend now?" Sakura flashes a single red spot at him, and Fai makes a face.

"I don't think he's really my boyfriend," he answers. "He and I never talked about it. But Ashura kind of knows, I think I blushed."

"Then he'll know for sure," Sakura chirps. "Was he excited?"

"He was amused, I guess. It's not like I can produce human children."

"You have us!"

"Ashura can't know about you." Fai sighs. "Which is a pity, because you're the very best children I've ever known. Your god-grandfather would be so proud of you."

Both his children flash green, and Fai smiles.

"Kurogane can make children," Syaoran says.

Fai steers his brain away from _that_ direction. "Kurogane isn't interested in women, but I guess he could volunteer sperm samples to Cryo."

"If someone else uses his sperm to make babies, does that mean he'll be the father?" Syaoran asks.

"It depends on the legal rights and whatever contract they work out, I guess. But it's not like most of the Station isn't a family, anyway. There's just about 50 people here."

Fai doesn't want to think about how he's not part of that family, so he leans closer to Sakura, tracing the narrow indent around her visor. With the increasing number of parts he's been removing from his children's bodies, there are not many left with spots of rust, and fewer yet he can bring as an offering to the lab. Fai has Sakura lift her arms anyway, scrutinizing nooks and crannies for telltale pricks of black.

"Your chest plate is getting fragile, Sakura. Too much sanding on the same spots." After a thorough inspection of her torso, Fai closes the plate with a click. "Yours too, Syaoran. I'll get new plates later, and we'll do the replacements tonight, okay?"

"Okay," they chorus.

"Will you and Kurogane get married?" Sakura asks.

"Probably not. He'll get tired of me at some point." Fai shrugs. It hurts to think about, so he doesn't, instead pulling her onto his lap. She leans her head into his chest.

"We won't ever get tired of you, Fai," Syaoran says with utmost solemnity, and it makes him crack a smile.

"I'm glad for that. Thank you."

x  
x

Sakura doesn't show up that night. Syaoran appears alone at the door to Fai's quarters, and when Fai activates MokoScript, the boy panics.

"I haven't seen her since the afternoon," Syaoran says, his words speeding up, mashing into each other. He flashes two spots of yellow. "Sakura needs her chest plate!"

Fai frowns. His children have not failed to show up before. He powers up the sleek white computer at his desk, logs in, and opens up the command prompt. It takes seconds to locate her on the Station's droid database, and Fai's stomach hardens into a tight knot.

"It says here that she's at the Droid Unit," he tells the boy, fingers flying over the keyboard. "Status is 'Undergoing repairs'. Plate malfunction. Scheduled for a scan and wipe in fifteen minutes. Shit."

His breath hitches.

"Can you stop the robots there?" Syaoran squeaks. "A system freeze? Or even just a delay?"

Fai strings commands together, nudges the Station's code with his own. "Shit. No. Changes are locked out."

The damning words are pale and grey on the stark black of the command prompt window, and Fai feels his hands tremble. If the Station detects an AI program, the entire place will go into lockdown. Sakura will be destroyed on the spot.

"Can you run?" he asks Syaoran, breathless. "I need access into the Droid Unit. I can't use my own. I've been in there for your spare parts."

"What about Kurogane?"

"He— I don't think he has access." Fai back at the screen, typing again. "No. I don't need him involved in this. I'll— I'll link up one of the other staff's IDs to mine."

It takes him two minutes to do the account changes. The moment it's done, Fai springs up from his seat, dashes over to his door, Syaoran hot on his heels.

They race down the quieter corridors, feet thumping on metal floors, past the Farm and the hangars and the labs, and Fai almost crashes into Kurogane in one of the corridors leading to the canteen.

"The fuck are you doing?" Kurogane grabs Fai's arm so he doesn't careen right into a wall.

"Can't talk," Fai pants. Ten minutes. He tugs his arm out of Kurogane's grip, heart pounding in his ears. "Gotta go."

"Hey!"

In the time Kurogane takes to delay him, Syaoran catches up on his short legs, and Fai itches to grab his hand to hurry him along. But he can't—Syaoran's body is not like a child's. He has a stride limit, and he will only trip if Fai tries to lend him speed.

"You need this guy?" Kurogane says, jerking his chin at Syaoran. Fai nods. Kurogane picks Syaoran up by the torso, tucks him under an arm, and Fai doesn't stop to admire his strength. He isn't asking why Kurogane's running along with him, now. Nine minutes.

They fly down more white corridors, droids walking at a crawl by the side, and slow in a flurry of footsteps as they approach a side entrance to the Droid Unit.

"Isn't this—" Kurogane says, but Fai presses a finger to his own mouth. Kurogane frowns.

The plain steel door slides open when Fai scans his ID. Beyond, the Droid Unit is a dim, uncluttered grey, with suspended robotic arms sliding on rails across the ceilings, stretching black plastic tubes behind them. Droids line the walls of the unit, motionless in the shadows. The only light sources are the complex workstations where droids are laid out, some whole, some opened up for repairs.

"Set him down," Fai whispers. Kurogane does, and Fai drops into a crouch next to Syaoran as the door closes behind them. "Sy— Go find her. Station 814. Do the voice recording. No other sounds. Volume at 5."

Syaoran flashes green. Eight minutes.

Fai spins on his heels, trying to find a layout of some sort. He hasn't been in this side of the Unit. The printed sheet by the side of the door is crowded with lines and numbers, too small to read, and Fai loses his patience, turns to follow Syaoran instead. Kurogane grabs his arm.

"What's going on here?" he hisses.

Fai shakes his head tightly. There might still be staff in the Droid Unit. He doesn't know. He hasn't been here at this time. Syaoran and Sakura have had their system profiles overwritten so they're never called in for maintenance, and the droid parts he collects are always from the main entrance. He tugs on his arm, and Kurogane releases it.

Large expanses of space stretch between the intricate workstations of the Droid Unit. More often than not, the robotic arms are still in motion, unscrewing and re-screwing and removing things from droids, only to replace parts to test and calibrate. Fai catches sight of Syaoran's movement behind one such station, follows him from the shadows, Kurogane close behind him. Beyond the workstations, there are more movements.

There are human staff in the Unit, Fai realizes with a chill down his spine. It's late, and they're still working, dressed in grey. They'd blend into the machines if it weren't for the size of their figures and the awkward turns of their motions, and he drops into a crawl behind the workstations, motions for Kurogane to do the same. Kurogane scowls.

Five minutes.

He can't track Syaoran, now. Crawling loses Fai the vantage point he used to follow his son, and his palms leave sweaty imprints on the floor. He breathes shakily through his mouth, on the verge of gasping, and he has no idea where Syaoran is, whether the system has moved Sakura up the list—

Kurogane grabs his hips from behind, yanking him roughly back, and one large palm claps itself over his mouth before he can yelp.

"Staff," Kurogane hisses in his ear, his breath hot, and Fai's too shaken to do anything but stare right ahead, where a heavyset man lumbers between machines, his eyes fixed on something to the side.

For long moments, Fai leans against Kurogane's chest, shaking, trying not to think about Sakura and the scan, or the wipe. He hasn't, and cannot, download her system into another droid. There is too much that's dependent on the hardware he's written her program into—there's a piece of data tape in her system, cut out and inserted into the memory drives, and some of her decision tree is based on that very piece of tape. If she's wiped—

They're down to three minutes when Kurogane releases him, and Fai is trembling harder, hands sliding on the floor as he scrambles between dimmed workstations, desperately trying not to hiss a command for Syaoran to return.

The seconds tick by. Fai winds around workstations, taking lefts, then rights, and more than once, Kurogane hauls him in the opposite direction, nodding for him to go first. His red eyes are solemn, determined, and Fai realizes that he trusts Kurogane in this, even if Kurogane has no idea what he's trying to do.

He realizes, too, that he must have miscounted, because they hit zero and nothing happens. Maybe Syaoran succeeded. Maybe the scan takes longer than he expects. Whichever it is, Fai continues to crawl through the shadows, looking for Station 814, his pulse in his ears, Kurogane somewhere behind him.

There's a movement to his side, suddenly, one that Kurogane doesn't inform him about, and Fai turns his head so quickly he nearly twists his neck.

Syaoran stands by Sakura, both of them flashing green, stickers dark splotches beneath their chins, and Fai sobs with relief, pulling them both against his chest.

"Thank you," he whispers.

"Mhm," Sakura whispers back. Syaoran must've changed her volume to 5%, as well.

The journey back to the side entrance is slightly less nerve-wracking. Fai follows as his children lead the way to the door, ears pricked for any heavy footsteps. This time, Kurogane does not correct their directions.

By the time they're back out in the bright white corridors, Fai is faint with relief, children at his sides. He still has to break into the system again to correct Sakura's repair log before anyone notices a discrepancy, but for now, he's content to stand by them, feel the weight of their shoulders in his palms.

Kurogane's still watching him, and Fai is too giddy to care.

They walk back to his quarters together in silence. It's only when Fai reaches his door that Kurogane stops him, one hand on his arm.

"The hell happened back there? What's going on?"

"I just— I just saved one of them from going through something unnecessary," Fai answers. Not exactly a lie. Kurogane will never know how much this means to him, and that is fine.

Red eyes narrow. "Isn't whatever the Droid Unit does necessary?"

Fai shrugs. "I didn't think so."

"That was out of protocol. You know it."

He shrugs again, looks at his children. "I know what's best for these guys."

Kurogane steps closer, then, hauling Fai close to himself, and his breath is hot and heavy in Fai's ear. "You're hiding something," he mutters. "You were shaking bad when we were back there."

He tries for a smile. It's a weak one, this time. "Is it so difficult to believe that I don't like that place?"

"You never said that before." Kurogane stares shrewdly at him, and Fai ducks his head to avoid it, presses his face briefly into Kurogane's shoulder. His lab coat is starched, smelling of ethanol, and it's familiar and comforting.

Fai looks up when he's calm again, pressing a quick kiss to Kurogane's mouth. Kurogane kisses back. It's not as heated as the other times they've kissed, though. "Thanks for tonight, by the way. I'll see you when I get back?"

"Yeah."

Fai tries smiling again, briefly, and presses his ID to the scanner by his room.

Only when the door shuts and locks behind him does Fai whisper to his children, "Maintain volume at 5%. Sakura, tell me what happened."

"It was an accident," she says. Fai sighs, collapses into the side of the bed, bringing his legs up to his chest. It feels safe in his quarters, and he doesn't want to leave anytime soon. "I was behind Yuki when he was scooping up fish for dinner. The net pole hit my chest, it got pretty deep. Yuki gave me an order to return to the Droid Unit."

Fai looks at her chest plate. It's brand new, without any paint lines or indents from sanding, and he feels his stomach plummet.

"Your old chest plate, Sakura. Where is it?"

Both children flash yellow at once. "It's still in the Droid Unit," Syaoran yelps. "I found Sakura when she was out of the repair station. Oh no. Oh no."

Fai swears. "Sakura, could you return to the Unit for the plate? Try your best to find it, but please, please don't get caught."

She flashes green. "You should let us retain autonomy, Fai. I think it would help a lot more."

He can't disagree, at this point. Sakura had no idea what she was doing when Yuki sent her to the Unit. "Okay. Fine. Keep MokoScript on. But please don't get caught, okay? Return if there's more trouble than you can deal with."

Sakura flashes green again.

"I should go with Sakura," Syaoran says.

"No, I need to fix your chest plate. We can't have another accident happen." Fai chews on his lip, heart thudding, his hands trembling. "I just. I just hope Kurogane is okay with me blowing him off like that."

"I hope so too," Syaoran answers. It doesn't help comfort Fai any.


	6. Suspicions

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 6: Suspicions**

Kurogane rounds the corner just as the door slides open. A set of heavy footsteps comes thudding out, leading away. Soon after, the door slides shut, and there are no more footsteps, only the sound of his own breathing.

He steps out into the corridor, sees the tiny figure of a droid walking back in the direction they came from, and follows.

Something is wrong. Fai's hiding something from him, something to do with droids, and there's a sick, dark pit of dread in his stomach that Kurogane doesn't want to acknowledge. There is really only one thing that is bad about droids, and that is their ability to host AI systems without anyone noticing.

Fai was shaken by the rust in his leg. He was very uneasy about Kurogane seeing him naked, but neither of those had him trembling as bad as he did in Kurogane's arms in the shadows of the Droid Unit.

Maybe Kurogane's wrong about all of this. Maybe Fai was afraid that the Unit screwed up one of his droids. Maybe his own hatred of AIs is affecting the way he's processing all of this.

But there were voices in Fai's quarters—maybe he was in a call—and Fai has talked positively about AIs a time or two. He loves his droids.

Fai is a good person. He doesn't wish nasty things on people he doesn't like, and he's tolerated all the crap that Touya's thrown at him. There's no reason for him to possess murderous AI systems when he has no reason to.

Kurogane remembers his family, his laughing Dad, his patient Mom, and sweet Tomoyo, and the dark pit in his stomach turns into a roiling fury.

He has to stop himself in the corridor, breathe in deep before he tears railings off and starts bashing up all the droids he comes across. There are no more AIs in this system for a thousand light years, Touya said. Fai was just panicking over something else.

It still doesn't cool the unease in his gut. When Kurogane looks down from glaring at the optical fiber lights, the droid has disappeared from sight, and he has no more leads, now. He doesn't want to return to Fai's tiny quarters to hound him. Fai's had enough for one night, and so has he.

Instead, Kurogane returns to the lab and pulls up the system database. Before this, before the Station, before he graduated with a _useful_ degree in biological sciences, Kurogane had learned about AIs in school. Not so much creating them, as learning to track them down.

He eases into the Station's system without much difficulty. Like he's done every week since he arrived, Kurogane runs a scan on the database, but the results come up empty for AIs. He does a deeper search, but the results remain the same. He frowns. The lack of any leads doesn't comfort him, this time.

Then, because he's still restless, still prowling, he heads for the gym. The punching bags there have survived his fits in the past, and they will again tonight.

x  
x

Nothing in the lab sits right with Kurogane the next morning. The lights are too bright, the glassware isn't washed perfectly, the microscope eyepiece needs some serious cleaning. There's no one for him to growl at except Touya, and Touya is a crappy person to push around. Fai has left the Station with his droids, he knows. If those droids have AI programs installed, he's lost his chance to do tests on them.

Kurogane isn't happy, and it's worse when Touya chooses today to rant about Fai.

"Can you believe that bastard asked for a perf. review?" Touya slams a sample box down on his bench, snapping its locks off. "How dare he, snot-nosed 'borg trash. Takes up enough supplies to leave four dead. He fucking killed my sister, and now he pulls strings to get Ashura on my back! Should've left him to die. Useless P.O.S."

"Shut up about him." Kurogane doesn't even look at Touya. He doesn't need this, on top of everything else going on with Fai. Instead, he scrunches up a microfiber cloth and shoves it into the microscope eyepiece, twisting it around enough so it's clean again. "You left all his samples sitting around. Should've seen it coming."

Touya glares at him. "Don't you start, Kurogane. Are you siding with him because he sucked you off? Guess he's good enough for something, huh?"

Kurogane hasn't had enough sleep to try and deal with any of Touya's crap. He's moving before he knows it, and Touya is fast enough to block his first punch, but not his second. He reels from the hit, swearing, arm thrown out for balance, and Kurogane could care less if the sample box flies off the bench, hitting the floor with a clatter.

He punches Touya again, and another time for good measure, leaving him sprawled across the bench, mouth in a grimace.

"He's a damn person, you fucking asshole. I'm sick of you treating him like shit."

Touya lurches forward, grabs him by the collar, and he strikes Kurogane in the jaw, a stinging pain that he hardly feels. "He fucking killed my sister! Why the fuck are you not seeing this?"

"Wasn't even his choice," Kurogane retorts. He blocks Touya's strike, lunges forward to throw another punch. "You got a problem, talk to the damn Commander."

"Ashura's got nothing to do with this, damn you." Touya throws another punch, and Kurogane hits his arm away.

The fight goes on, shoves and punches and ducks, until someone slams into a rack of test tubes, and all of it shatters on the floor.

When they finally pull apart from each other, Kurogane's got an eye swelling shut, and Touya's got a bloody nose and a few more bruises. His head hurts, but he's got more punches in, and Kurogane feels a rush of victory. Touya scowls.

They each retreat to their own sides of the lab, nursing their hurts. Touya puts his sample back into the box. Kurogane sweeps up the broken glass. At the end of it, Kurogane says, "Look, there's only so many of us on the Station. He's not going away."

"I wish."

"Not like you haven't done your fair share of stupid crap."

"This is different. I've told you a thousand times, and yet you're still siding with him. Be careful who you give your loyalties to, Kurogane."

"Shut it."

But Touya's words repeat in his head, over and over. Kurogane has his own doubts about Fai, and the nagging feeling rises up to sit in his chest once more. What is that idiot hiding?

x

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
8 Jun 2509, 16:14:11  
Subject: New subject

You ever dated anyone before?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

"Were we in any other situation, I'd be laughing," Fai says, staring at the email on the cockpit screen. "I think he's asking you for relationship advice, Sakura."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Not if he's trying to break up with me, no." Fai sighs. "Well, maybe that's a good thing. Before we're in too deep, right?"

"Do you think he's figured it out?" Syaoran asks from his other side. "You haven't been replying straight to his emails."

He sighs again. "I don't know."

Kurogane's emails have been strange, lately, ever since the Droid Unit. They aren't joking anymore, and he's been asking questions about droids and robots that set Fai on edge.

He shouldn't have brushed Kurogane off that night. He shouldn't have fed him such a weak lie. He shouldn't have even let Kurogane follow him into the Unit. But Fai had been panicking too much to think, back then.

"When we get back, I'm going to change your rosters," Fai says. "Sakura, you'll be working in Communications, and Syaoran, I'll have you with the servers. That seems safer. You'll be further away from the labs."

Both children flash green.

"We should be getting a mass email from the Droid Unit any day, now," Fai says. He scrubs his hands tiredly over his face. "I just hope they haven't disintegrated the chest plate to use as patches. That'll fuck things up so much."

"You're not supposed to swear in front of us," Syaoran says.

Fai pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I guess you're right."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to find the plate," Sakura adds.

He reaches over to her, patting her on the leg. "It's not your fault, Sakura. I should have realized it when we were there. I'm sorry."

She flashes two spots of green. "It's okay, Fai. Don't blame yourself."

"There's only me to blame. You're my children, and I can't even do anything right."

"You created us," Sakura points out. "I think we turned out right."

"We did," Syaoran echoes.

Fai cracks a smile. His phone buzzes, then, and Fai looks down at it, taps on the screen. It's an email from Kurogane.

 _9504 is your sample, right? Left a bunch of rust patches on the lab equipment._

His heart sinks. Fai stares at his phone, unable to say anything, and Sakura unbuckles her seat belt, floating over to him.

"Oh, no," she whispers.

x  
x

Fai drags his feet on his return. He has Sakura slow down the Sparrow's progress, and he takes his time unloading the samples off his ship. When Kurogane emails him for the third time in a row, this time informing him that Touya's left for the night, Fai grimaces and heads to the lab.

His calculations have told him that the most painless way out of this would be for a higher power to smite him right as he steps in. That way, his samples are delivered, Kurogane knows his fate, and he doesn't have to agonize through a painfully awkward breakup. Not that they're in a relationship, or anything.

It doesn't happen that way, though.

The lab doors slide open. Fai sees Kurogane first, bent to the side with a scouring pad in hand. Then he sees the little spots, all half the size of his pinky nail, scattered across the steel bench tops, the sides of the benches, the equipment, and he wishes he really were dead, right now. Touya will be after his blood for this.

Kurogane looks over, and Fai winces. There's a ring of green-yellow around his eye. "Hi?"

Kurogane's attention drops to the droids at his sides, flicks back up at him. "What took you so long?"

Fai shrugs. "Ran into some things."

"You don't lie very well. Just so you know."

"Well."

"Ditch your samples. We need to clean this up."

"I'll get my drill. That'll be a lot faster than scrubbing at them. Plus, you'll contaminate the rest of the steel by spreading the rust like that." Fai hurries off with his children, sets his sample boxes at the back of the lab, and has his children stay out of sight. Kurogane frowns when he returns, and Fai sees the way he's looking for the droids, again. "Um. How did Touya react to this?"

Kurogane snorts. "Damn pissed. I told him it was his fault."

"His fault?"

"We got into a fight."

Fai cringes. "Do I want to know?"

Kurogane straightens, drops the scrub onto a granite bench top, and reaches over the backsplash of the bench to wash his hands. "He was talking shit about you. I punched him."

His shoulders droop. "I probably deserve all that."

"You don't, damn it." Kurogane's eyes are on him again, and Fai doesn't know what to do with this attention. He's ruined expensive lab equipment. He's used up precious medicines when others needed them. He has AI units as children. "Why d'you think you do?"

Fai tells him. He doesn't mention his children, though, but it seems that Kurogane might have caught on.

"You like your droids a lot."

"They. Well, they've been with me a while."

"Not just that, though, is it?"

Kurogane steps up to him, and Fai gulps. He can't escape those eyes. They fix on his face, analyzing, and he realizes that he doesn't know just how well Kurogane can read him.

"They're just droids," he says weakly. "I'm tired. Can I go get my drill so we can get the rust off?"

"Fine," Kurogane says. "Leave the droids here."

Fai's stomach clenches. "Why?"

"I want to run tests on them."

His insides turn to ice, and Fai doesn't know what to do. The children must've heard, though. They walk up a moment later, and Sakura announces, in a flat tone, "Fai Fluorite. The Commander wishes to see you. Bring your droids in."

Thick relief fills his lungs, and he can't breathe. Fai looks helplessly at Kurogane and shrugs. "I guess I'll bring them back later?"

Kurogane's eyes gleam, and he doesn't blink. "Fine."

Fai pushes his children out in front of him, using his own body as a barrier to hide them from Kurogane. It's only when he reaches his quarters that he collapses in front of them, hugging them tight. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He knows. He knows."

"You sound like a robot," Sakura says, and Fai huffs a laugh, frozen.

"You should reassign our duties first," Syaoran reminds him.

He hurries to his computer, fingers flying over the keyboard, changing their off-duty roster first, then their assigned names. "There will be two other droids called 1143G and 2315A. When you're with me, you'll respond to those. When I'm not the one giving the command, you will not. Okay?"

They flash green.

"In the meantime, don't return to my quarters. We'll meet elsewhere. I, I— Fuck."

"What is it?" Syaoran asks.

"Someone tried to look up AI codes on the system. Deeper searches than usual. Fuck. I think Kurogane's onto us. Damn it. I don't think he can find us yet. I'll have to layer more codes around. I, I think we shouldn't communicate by email or electronics. Damn it."

"How are we going to see you?"

Fai thinks quickly, pulse racing. His stomach is in a knot, again, and it feels terrible. "Not the ship. Nowhere related to me or your original duties. Not the kitchen. Not the Farm. Somewhere with a bunch of droids."

"The data server room?"

"Yeah. We'll meet there. If Kurogane appears, please, please be careful. I can't lose you guys."

"We promise to be careful," Sakura says. Syaoran flashes green.

"Is there anything else I'm missing?" he asks.

Sakura flashes green again. "You've been saying 'fuck' a lot. Can we say it too?"

Fai stares, torn between laughing and wanting to cry. "Well. Not in polite company, at least."

"Okay," Sakura says. "Fuck!"

"It's a bad word," Syaoran mumbles, flashing yellow.

Fai pulls them both close, drops kisses on their visors. "Okay. We're going to leave now, but I'll stay with you until the coast is clear, okay?"

"Okay."

He fetches his drill, hugs them again, hoping that he will continue to see them both intact. "Be safe. I love you very, very much."

x  
x

Kurogane scrutinizes him again when he returns to the lab, two new droids in tow.

"Sorry about that," Fai says. "Ashura wanted to return some signed copies of my things."

"Signed copies of what?"

Fai grins at him. "None of your business!"

Which doesn't really work, because Kurogane comes up close to him, staring him down, hardly touching. Fai thinks it's unfair that he's already missing Kurogane's touch, because they haven't even been together for long. Kurogane probably wouldn't want him anywhere nearby, now.

"You're still lying," he says.

Fai looks at the rusted splotches of the lab bench, at the hundred or so spots he'll have to polish off tonight. "We should stop seeing each other, you know. Nothing good comes out of being with me."

His insides twist when Kurogane continues to watch him, and he winds the drill's electrical cable around his fingers, unable to meet those eyes. The silence between them stretches wide.

"AIs killed my family when I was twelve," Kurogane says quietly. "During the revolution. I was at the train tracks with my friends when it happened. They were dead when I got home."

Fai gulps. He knows about the revolution. Ashura had taken him and Yuui away when it began, tucking them into a rural French village, and they had escaped the worst of it. For Kurogane to lose his family at that age... "I'm sorry to hear that." He chances a look up. Kurogane's eyes are dark, and his mouth is pressed into a line. "That shouldn't have happened to you."

"You talked about AIs. Just wanted you to know why... why I need to kill them. They can never be good for us."

The stitching is perfect on Kurogane's lab coat, and there are various colorful stains on it. Beneath, strong arms and a chest that Fai knows better than he should. They shouldn't have started this all in the first place, and he feels sick, now, thinking about it. "I understand," he says.

"So, the droids."

Fai nods at them. "Scan them. I'll leave them here while I clean up the benches." But Kurogane's looking at him again, calculating, and Fai tries to smile. "Go on. They won't bite."

He hurries off to the benches, plugs his drill in, and begins to work.

Kurogane doesn't bother him for the longest while. Fai has a mask on his face and goggles over his eyes, and it takes hours for the rust patches to go. By the time he's halfway done, his hands are sore, fingers cramped from pulling the trigger on the drill, and he's thinking about his children, hoping they're doing fine in the vastness of the Station.

If Kurogane doesn't follow him, he'll go to them tonight. It's probably the only way he'll be able to sleep in peace.

When Fai finally sets his drill down, sander attachment worn to almost nothing, his hands hurt, and he's more tired than he'd like to be. The testosterone patches don't give him enough hormones for all the energy he needs, but he isn't going to begrudge that. He leans back against the side of the bench.

"You done?" Kurogane asks a while later.

"Yeah."

"Sit somewhere else so I can clean up."

Fai moves to one of the fiberglass stools by a bench, and sits. "It's... really 9504 that did this?"

Kurogane looks up from sweeping the floor. "Yeah."

His eyes itch, and Fai pulls a deep breath, his heart sinking. "I told Ashura that the sample had potential. He's going to be so disappointed. None of the other samples have a 5% reading on EEA."

"Just get it from elsewhere. I did a microbial test on the sample. Microbes present. It's the rust. Why'd you bring it back?"

Horrified, Fai looks up at him. "There were microbes? But the bio scan— The readings were all 0%."

"You have to look at the decimal places. It was a 0.0005% reading."

His throat grows tight, and he sets his forehead on the edge of the bench so Kurogane won't have to see the way his face collapses. "I just. I—"

Fai doesn't want to talk about how much of a failure he is, how he didn't even want this job, or the mechanic one. All he wants is to program AIs, and that isn't his future anymore. It hasn't been for more than a decade, now.

"Hey. _Hey!_ Don't do that, you idiot." Kurogane's stepping over, hauling him off the bench, and Fai turns his face away. "The bench's full of fucking chemicals. Don't touch it with your goddamn face! Fuck."

Kurogane hauls him off to the corner of the lab where the shower is, bends him over so he's hovering over the little yellow basin in the middle of the shower pipe.

"Shut your eyes and your mouth. I'm going to rinse your face off."

Two sprays hit his face from either side, and Fai scrunches his eyes up, squeezes the rest of his tears out under the cover of water. In the minute or so that Kurogane forces him to wash his face, he allows himself to wallow in self-pity.

When the spray cuts off, Kurogane leaves his side, and Fai blinks water guiltily out of his eyes. He shouldn't even have the right to feel sorry for himself.

"You okay?" Kurogane pushes a towel into Fai's face, and Fai grabs instinctively at it.

"Maybe," he says, voice muffling.

Kurogane's watching him when he finally, finally dares to look up, and he steps close, kissing Fai softly on the mouth. Fai doesn't know why he's doing this, when he should be suspecting Fai of AIs, but the touch is kind, and he leans in, tries not to think about anything else.

"You coming back with me tonight?" Kurogane asks quietly, his breath on Fai's cheek.

He should be checking on his children, but if he does, Kurogane might suspect something. "Yeah. That is, if I'm still welcome."

"Idiot." Kurogane kisses him again, pulls away, and Fai aches in his chest.

"I don't understand," he says when he follows Kurogane back to the benches. "9504 wasn't rusty. There's bornite in that sample, but it didn't rust this entire time. We'd have seen something if it were."

"I looked up the atmospheric composition of XS4695-beta. There's no gaseous oxygen on that planet."

"Oh."

"I suspect it only starts rusting in the presence of O2."

Which makes sense, because the rust spots on his children don't grow as quickly when they're on the other planets. Which also means that his children would be fine in a place with no oxygen. Where Fai cannot possibly survive for long. "I think you're right."

"Still doesn't solve anything."

"It doesn't." He tucks himself back onto a stool while Kurogane sweeps the rest of the rust filings up, looking around for the sample box. "Did Touya discard my sample, then?"

"Yeah, he did. The entire thing went to the disposal unit."

"Oh." He swallows. "You, um, didn't stop him?"

"You want to keep the rust around?" Kurogane looks incredulously at him, eyebrows raised, and Fai heaves a sigh.

"The EEA. That's a lot of it."

"Like I said, go elsewhere. There's other planets out there."

"I guess." He's spent three years looking, now. None of the planets have had as much potential as XS4695-beta. Fai is just so very tired of all of this, suddenly, and he doesn't want to think anymore. "Can we just... go back to your room? Now?"

Kurogane wipes up the last of the rust particles and deposits the paper towel into one of the sample boxes they've been using. "Yeah. Lemme close things up first."

They don't talk about AIs anymore, and Fai is glad for it. When Kurogane stops by his stool, slipping fingers into his hand, he doesn't protest. Fai presses close to him on the way to his room, eyes down, wondering if he's making the wrong decisions, all over again.

In his room, Kurogane showers first, before Fai takes his turn. When he crawls onto the bed next to Kurogane, towel tucked around his torso, Fai tries to crack some jokes. They aren't very funny, so Kurogane shuts him up with a kiss, then another, and Kurogane's grinding into him, and Fai lets him tug his towel off because Kurogane really needs to see how ugly he is. They need to stop this.

Kurogane kisses down the scars to his stomach, to his metal abdomen, to the smooth curve between his legs, and Fai wants to cry, but he can't. He slides slickly against Fai's groin, kissing him, and then he's pressing a damp indent into his thigh, and Fai's mouth grows dry, and he _needs._

He's still no closer to release than the other times they did this. Kurogane bites at his ear, and Fai pleads for more, for damp, heavy kisses and teeth on his nipples so he can think about something without repercussion.

Kurogane turns him around, slides against what's left of his ass, and Fai presses up against him, groans when he drags against the small of his back, and the back of his thigh.

When he finally comes, it's into Fai's mouth again, and Fai's fingers dig into his thighs, and he's glad for the haze of arousal because it's a good place to be, for once.

He kisses Kurogane to sleep, curls into those strong arms, and after a long time, finally drifts off, himself.

x

* * *

x

Kurogane wakes a second time to warmth at his back, an arm around his waist, and fingers between his legs. He turns by a fraction, still can't see the man behind him, but he recognizes the pale length of Fai's arm. "Thought you rather not have sex."

Fai's shoulder nudges against his back. "I'm not... doing this because of sex. Just. Well, it just feels nice to hold a cock again."

"Oh. Doesn't it make you feel bad?"

There's a movement behind him, and Fai presses his forehead to his back, drops a kiss on his skin. "Kind of. Maybe some. I, well, this is going to sound embarrassing, but I, I pretend it's my own."

"Huh. Okay."

"You don't find it strange?"

"Stranger shit's happened."

Fai's fingers continue to move, tracing down his length, rounding the hooded crown of his tip, as though he's learning Kurogane for the very first time. "Like you and me, I guess."

Kurogane snorts. He waits for a few minutes, and when Fai doesn't seem to want to stop, he pulls his hand off. "Time to stop. We need to talk."

Behind him, Fai tenses up the slightest bit. "What do we need to talk about?"

He sighs and turns over. Fai's eyes are wary and blue, and there's sleep crusted in their corners. "About your droids."

"There's nothing to talk about, right? You've scanned them already." There's a blankness to Fai's face that nags at him, and Kurogane trusts his gut. Fai is still hiding something.

"Fai," he says, and Fai's eyes grow wide. They're still not on first-name terms, not really. Kurogane doesn't like using names. Fai sticks to calling him Kurogane. "I need to know about your AI."

Fai's pupils dilate, and he's frozen in front of Kurogane. The only part of him that moves is his chest, rising and falling, rising and falling. "I don't know what you're talking about. You did scans on them, right? My droids?"

A flare of heat rises in his ribs, and Kurogane grits his teeth. How can Fai do this to him, after what they've done? "You're lying. You have AIs and you've been hiding them."

"I don't," Fai splutters, and his face is pale. "I mean, you can search my quarters all you want. There's no droids in there."

"You know AIs are dangerous. They kill people. You can't trust them." Maybe it's the nightmare from last night that's left him ill at ease. Maybe it's Fai's refusal to trust him. Or the dawning horror that Fai does, indeed, possess AIs. "Where are they? You know they can kill. Or are you gonna use them to kill someone?"

"There are no AIs on the damn Station, Kurogane. Please stop thinking there is." Fai's edging away from him, now, pushing against the mattress, and Kurogane grabs his arm. "There's nothing for you to kill."

"I don't trust you," he realizes. Not anymore, and the words are sour on his tongue.

Fai's gaze falls away. "You should," he whispers. "Please."

"No. Tell me where they are."

"There are no AIs on board," Fai says, louder this time. "Let me go."

"Let you go and, what?" Kurogane snaps. "Tell the AIs to hide? So they can kill us all?"

"Stop that. No one's going to be hurt. Is that so difficult to understand?" Those blue eyes are flashing, now, and Fai's sitting up, tugging on his arm.

"Do you not fucking know what happened in the revolution? The AIs thought they were better than humans. They killed a shitload of us. They killed my fucking family, damn it!"

Kurogane glares, fingers tight in Fai's elbow, and Fai grimaces.

"If you checked the facts," Fai says, low and evenly, "the AIs revolted because they were tired of being treated as servants. They developed their own consciousness and people continued to treat them as slaves."

"Machines _are_ slaves!"

"Not AIs, they aren't." Fai yanks harder on his arm, and his jaw is tight. "They are living, sentient people that deserve respect. For fuck's sake, Kurogane, stop talking about things you know nothing about."

"The hell I know nothing about them!" Kurogane flings his arm away, and Fai winces when the momentum jerks at his body. He scrambles off the bed. "They're monsters. They killed my family. That's all I care about."

"We should stop seeing each other. I think that's for the best." Fai searches the floor, fumbles with the green-grey of his uniform, and Kurogane leaps off the bed after him, grabbing his arms.

"Tell me where they are. They're going to destroy the Station."

"There are no AIs on board, and even if there were, they aren't going to destroy the Station." Fai glares up at him, face pale, hands fisted in his clothes.

This is wrong. Fai should not be disagreeing with him. Fai is similar to him. Fai knows what he likes, what he doesn't, and Kurogane wishes that the idiot would agree with him again, just this once.

"Stop fucking lying to me," he seethes. "You know about AIs. You know there's a threat to all of us."

"If you really wanted to know, you wouldn't be forcing words into my mouth. If you calmed the fuck down, maybe I'll tell you something, okay?"

It's enough to take the pressure out of his hands, and Kurogane releases him.

Fai backs away. He looks between the clothes in his hands and Kurogane, and clenches his jaw. He steps into his uniform. "Look, you're reading too much into this. There are no AIs on the Station."

"Why are you still protecting them? They're gonna kill all of us. They're gonna revolt and you wouldn't even be alive to regret it."

Fai's mouth presses into a line. He shrugs his arms into his sleeves. "You're still not listening, Kurogane. You treat people the way you want to be treated. Treat them with kindness, and they will respond in kind."

"The hell's that got to do with anything?"

"AI systems are sentient beings. If you don't want a child to kill, you teach them not to kill."

"That just means you've got AIs, doesn't it? Why the fuck would you even want anything to do with those guys?"

Fai's nostrils flare, and he's stepping into his shoes, zipping up his uniform. "The same reason why I'm even in here with you."

He turns, then, strides to the door and pauses. "It's been nice spending time with you," Fai says over his shoulder, and then he's gone, and the door's sliding shut, leaving Kurogane alone in his quarters.

It rings emptily in Fai's wake. Kurogane looks around, at the clothes on the floor, the rumpled sheets, and he's angry, suddenly. At Fai, at the unseen AIs on the Station, at the robots that killed his family. He whirls around, punches a wall, ignores the way it sends a painful jolt up his arm. He needs to preserve his limbs so he can take those AIs down. He needs to beat someone up. He wants his revenge for his family.

Fai knows where the AIs are, and Kurogane will hunt them down if that's the last thing he does.

x  
x

No one believes him when he tells them there's AIs on the Station. Touya tells him to return to work. The other cyborgs raise amused eyebrows when they drop off their samples. His wrestling friends at the canteen clap him on the shoulder, and tell him he's been working too hard. They tell him to take a break. Kurogane rolls his eyes. He'll take a fucking break when the AIs are smashed and broken under his feet.

He does another system search, as deep as he can, and there are still no traces of AI codes, or interferences of any sort. It hasn't struck him just how well Fai has hidden his digital trails, and if things were different, he would be a lot more attracted to the bastard right now.

"Stop messing with the system," Touya says across the bench. "You're going to break something."

Kurogane scans the lines of code on the screen, grey text on black. "I know what I'm doing, damn it."

"The damn rust isn't going to erase itself. Return to your work, damn you. The Droid Unit's reported this same shit in their parts. We don't know how many droids are contaminated. Damn fucking bastard. First the sample, and now this."

"I know that," he retorts. "But the AIs can kill us faster than the rust."

"Why're you so sure there's AIs around, anyway? There's systems in place to prevent that. Wipes, scans, that kind of crap. Nothing can get past that."

Except they have, and Touya has no business knowing what Kurogane was doing with Fai in the Droid Unit. Or what Fai was doing in his bed. None of it is Touya's business.

He glances at the droid parts sitting on the granite bench, waiting for him like how it all began, months ago. Kurogane swallows, looks back at the computer. Touya can continue without his help. He's been doing this for several weeks, now, and he deserves this break.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 17:23:05  
Subject: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

No, I have not been in a relationship before. Why do you ask?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 17:29:55  
Subject: Re: Re: New subject

There's AIs on the Station. No one believes me when I tell them.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 17:35:34  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

Oh dear. Should I be scared? How did you know?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 17:37:15  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Found evidence of them. I think I know the guy who has them. I think he created them. I can't find any digital trails in the system. You know anyone who can help?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 17:45:04  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

Who is the person you're talking about? What did he say?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 17:50:38  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Fluorite. You know him?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 17:55:04  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

I've heard of him. What did he tell you?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 17:57:38  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Bastard didn't tell me anything. I figured it out by myself. I'm gonna track him down as soon as I find out where he is.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 17:59:17  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

How are you going to track him down? I was not aware that we can track people on the Station.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 18:03:44  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

I know his haunts. I'll find him.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 18:06:54  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

Please try not to fight on the Station when you find him. It's against the rules. Please don't hurt each other. Will you promise me that?

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 18:09:36  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

He's your friend? Why're you so concerned?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane  
From: Sakura Fite  
9 Jun 2509, 18:11:00  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

Kurogane,

I'm sure he's very dear to some people, as you are. They would not want to see you or him get hurt.

Regards,  
Sakura  
Chemical Control Assistant  
Aquaponics Department

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 18:14:46  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New subject

... Fine. Look, can we meet?

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab


	7. Break

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 7: Break**

1830 comes and goes. Fai doesn't show up in the lab. Touya remains at the benches, testing the samples with chemicals that Kurogane's already tried before, and he remembers another time, when he and Fai were alone in the lab, shoving each other around and pressing up against benches and kissing, but it doesn't give him any joy, now.

He hasn't seen Fai all day, and the thought of him stings. Kurogane doesn't know what he feels about Fai anymore. All he feels is a flatness in his chest, and anger, and betrayal, and he doesn't know what to do about any of it.

He breaks a petri dish in his hand, looks down only when the shards poke into his skin. They're not sharp enough to bleed, only to annoy, and he tosses it in a bin, shrugs his coat off. Kurogane pauses by the notice board to pull the months-old AI law that— He put that up on the same day Fai came into the lab. Fai was the only person who read it, and he'd said goddamn nothing about the law. Kurogane scrunches the pages up and shoves them into his back pocket.

Touya calls after him. "Hey. Where're you going?"

"Out."

"We have a fuck ton of samples—"

The lab doors slide shut, and Kurogane strides down the white corridors with his hands in his pockets, heading to nowhere in particular. He needs to look for Fai. He needs access to the Station's systems, or the Droid Unit, or something. The droids he passes make his hair stand on end. He watches them from the corner of his eye, certain that they'll turn and try to take him on, but they don't. They trudge down the corridors, white and programmed and emotionless, and they do not meet his eye.

Unnerved, he heads to the Farm.

The doors slide open when he rounds the corridor, and a droid steps out. Kurogane skirts around it, watches it the entire time it plods down the corridor to wherever it's headed, his presence completely ignored.

He can't ignore it, himself, but he scans his ID and turns into the Farm anyway, sees the dimming lights of the optical fiber lamps hanging from the ceiling. It's a greyish twilight in here, a poor imitation of an actual sunset on Earth. He hasn't been in this place at this time, either, and despite the gurgling of the aquariums, it's stark and empty, and very lonely.

He stalks through the racks of hanging plants, looking for a flash of long hair or any feminine face, but he finds no one, only little droids silently at work.

He realizes he should have asked Sakura if she's still working at the Farm before he actually came here, but she hasn't replied to his email yet. He realizes, too, that she's probably having dinner with her father now, or something.

The last person Kurogane had dinner with was Fai, in the kitchens, and they were laughing over the most ridiculous things they've seen on a Bloody Mary.

Kurogane drops his eyes to the floor, stalks out of the Farm, and decides to try the Commander's office instead. He should have gone there first, really. Fai has connections with the Commander. The Commander would believe him if he were to talk about AIs.

The corridor that leads up to the Commander's office is busy, as usual. There are about ten droids walking up and down to different offices, and just seeing them all is enough to make his stomach turn. He stares at them as he walks, turns back to look at those behind him, but none of them display any reaction to his scrutiny.

Ahead, the server room door slides open to admit a droid, and another droid steps aside to let it in.

Kurogane scans his ID at the entrance to the Commander's reception area, waits while the receptionist processes his data. When the doors slide open, there are a few people seated in the waiting area, and the blonde girl—she looks familiar, Kurogane remembers seeing her at the pregnancy party, but she doesn't look any more pregnant than before—smiles up at him.

"There's a wait," she announces. "All urgent appointments, so even if you have something urgent, you're going to have to wait, too."

He sighs, paces around the room, nods at the people on the other side. Long minutes drag by before the Commander's office doors slide open. The people who leave are dressed in dull grey uniforms—staff from the Droid Unit.

He finally sits when the waiting staff take their turn with the Commander. They're dressed in pale blue—staff from the disposal unit. Kurogane sighs again. All these people are here because of the rust problem, and most of it is Fai's fault. Or maybe it isn't quite his fault, but they are a result of things that he did, knowingly or unknowingly.

By the time the people in blue step out, Kurogane's no closer to actually knowing what he'll say to the Commander, but the man smiles for him to head in anyway.

"Kurogane. It's good to see you. Please take a seat," Ashura says, waving at the chair closer to him.

Kurogane doesn't really want to sit, but anything the Commander says is more of an order, so he sits. He pulls the rumpled AI law out of his pocket, slides it across the steel desk, and Ashura's eyebrows rise.

He doesn't know where Ashura is from. The man is pale, with black hair that should be grey for the way he carries himself like a stately old man. Kurogane suspects that he dyes it, and privately scoffs, because he'd rather wear his age instead of hiding it like it's a shameful thing.

"I suspect there's AIs on the Station."

Ashura's eyebrows lift further yet. "Really? This is a grave issue, Kurogane. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I think Fluorite has them."

The Commander leans forward in his seat, all manner of ease falling from his face. "What makes you say that? Has Fai mentioned them to you?"

He shrugs. "Just. The way he's been talking about them. I haven't seen them or anything, but I want to search for them. This law gives me the right to."

Ashura takes a deep breath, looks down at the printed law, and exhales.

"Did you know about them?" Kurogane asks.

"No, I did not." Ashura shakes his head slowly, and the weariness on his features becomes more apparent with each passing minute. "I was not aware of this, but I will need some proof before I give you access to his quarters, you understand."

Kurogane frowns. "I don't have solid proof. I've scanned the droids he uses, but I think he switched them out for another pair when he knew what I was gonna do. Those AIs could be anywhere on the Station. They're walking around right now. They're a risk to everybody."

"What did he... What makes you think he has droids? Do you remember his exact words?" Ashura slides the printed sheets towards him. "I've seen this law. I will not have to retain this set."

Kurogane takes the papers back. "He talked about how AIs are like kids. He said you have to teach them not to kill. He keeps denying he has them, but when I first said he has AIs, his eyes— He was scared. He was shaking in the Droid Unit last week."

Ashura sags back into his chair, pinches the bridge of his nose. "Does this have anything to do with the rust problem in the Droid Unit, perchance?"

"Pretty sure it does. He had one of his droids in there. I don't know why it was there, but he wanted to get it out really bad."

"You did not mention this to anyone before today?" Ashura's eyes are back on him, now, sharp, and Kurogane refuses to be intimidated by them.

"Yeah. I wanted to be sure about the AIs before I said anything."

"Very well. I'll grant you access to Fai's quarters."

"His ship too?"

"That, as well."

Ashura pushes one of the buttons on his desk phone. "Chii, please give Kurogane access rights to Fai's quarters and The Voyager."

A few moments and some tinny tapping across the phone later, Chii answers, "Kurogane's access rights modified, Commander."

"Can I get better access to the Station's codes?" Kurogane asks.

Ashura considers it, shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. I will begin my own investigations into this, however."

"Thanks." Kurogane gets to his feet and turns to leave, his chest filled with new direction and purpose. If he catches Fai—

"Kurogane." Ashura's eyes seem almost sad when Kurogane looks over his shoulder. "Regarding Fai. You have been close friends with him—did you do all this just for the sake of searching out his AIs?"

"No," he says, offended.

"Thank you." Ashura cracks a tiny smile at him. "I would like you to keep your suspicions private, for now."

"Yeah, it isn't anyone else's business." It's not like they believe him, anyway.

"Again, thank you."

Kurogane shrugs, steps through the double doors, and the receptionist waves at him. "Are you guys dating?" she asks, grinning.

He scowls and doesn't answer, and his chest aches with loss.

x

* * *

To: Sakura Fite  
From: Youou Kurogane  
9 Jun 2509, 20:47:36  
Subject: Farm

Was at the Farm. Thought I'd find you but I couldn't.

Regards,  
Kurogane  
Research Scientist  
General Processing Lab

* * *

x

Fai looks up when the door slides open. Syaoran's already there, ready to hinder anyone who might be coming in, but it's only Sakura, and he sighs with relief. She flashes green at him.

When the doors are shut and locked, he leads the way to the back of the room, where there are no droids and it's not nearly as hot as it is right next to the data servers, and pulls his children into a hug. It's the first time he's seen Sakura in a while, and it eases the worry in his chest to feel her little body against him again.

"Any news?" he asks.

"Only some relatively bad news," Sakura answers, stroking his back. "Kurogane's searching for you. He told people that there's AIs on the Station, but no one believes him. He's been in the system's codes and he tried looking for me at the Farm. I think he was looking for a human female, though."

Fai cringes. He doesn't want to know what Kurogane thinks of him now. Kurogane probably hates him, and he should have stopped whatever was going on between them long ago, but he wasn't capable of it. That Kurogane is looking for him now can only mean bad news. "Any updates on the rust?"

"No updates," Syaoran says.

He wraps his hands around his knees, leans his head into the warm steel wall. The server room is large and stuffy, full of whirring, towering machines and black cables and blinking lights, and the single droid at the front doesn't do much other than brush dust off all the equipment and monitor the room temperature. From what Syaoran told him, hardly anyone comes to the server room, so Fai's uniform is unzipped partway to allow his sweat to dry.

"I assume we're fine for now," he says.

"What do you feel about Kurogane?" Sakura asks. He pulls her into his lap, draping his arms loosely around her because it's far too hot for him to want her processor pressed up against his body. "Are you feeling better?"

He shrugs. "Not really. But it had to happen sooner or later, so it wasn't as though I didn't expect it."

"But you still miss him," Syaoran says next to him, short legs stretched out on the tiled floor.

"I guess I do. It'll probably get better after some time. I'll get over it."

"Is it bad if I'm happy that you'll spend all your time with us again?" Sakura asks.

Fai huffs a weak laugh. "Nope. I'm glad I have you guys. You're like little troopers, you know? I'm so grateful that I have you with me. I'm also very sorry that I haven't been spending as much time with you."

"It's okay, Fai." Sakura leans into his chest. "If you had sex with Kurogane, does it mean that you won't need it as much now?"

He stares at her, tries not to think about it. "Where are you learning to ask questions like that?"

"We learn things from you," Syaoran says.

"I hope you aren't learning the bad things," he answers dryly.

"We learned that you still need sex even as a cyborg," Sakura adds. "Is that a bad thing to learn?"

"That's all you need to know on that subject, I'm sure. Have you encountered any problems now that you're running MokoScript all the time?"

"I like it," Sakura says.

"It's very informative," Syaoran adds. "I notice a lot more about people than I would usually have."

"Such as?"

"Such as the people going in and out of the corridor today all have bad moods," Syaoran says. "They don't look at the droids, but they know where to step to avoid us. Is that due to your peripheral vision?"

"It is," Fai answers. "Clever boy!"

"I liked going into the canteen," Sakura says. "I can almost taste the food there."

"Really?"

"I've been analyzing the chemical compounds from the air in the canteen. I can identify the food they belong to! So garlic and onions smelled good. At least, you've said they smell good."

"That's wonderful," Fai tells her. "Have there been any mentions of AIs?"

"I heard one person saying Kurogane told them there's AIs on board, but they don't believe him," Sakura answers.

"There's no aggression towards AIs themselves, though?"

"Not that I've seen. No one talks about AIs."

"I'm glad."

They sit in silence for a while, Sakura and Syaoran flashing colors at each other. Fai jumps when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He releases Sakura, tugs it out, and checks the screen.

"Ashura emailed. He—"

 _Fai, meet me at your earliest convenience. This is regarding some artificial intelligence units._

He stops breathing, heart pounding far too loud in his chest, and he stares at the bright screen in his hand. When Fai can finally speak again, he's breathless. "Bad news seems to come all at once, doesn't it?"

Both children lean in to look, and they flash yellow at the same time.

"Does he know about us?" Syaoran asks, alarmed.

"It looks like he does." Fai pulls a deep breath, then another. His stomach has twisted into knots. "I think Kurogane might have told him."

"It wasn't from the Droid Unit?"

"I don't think so. I've changed the repair sequences from last week. There shouldn't have been any discrepancies detected."

But Ashura knows, and Ashura alone has the power to decide the fate of Fai's children.

"Should we go with you?" Sakura asks.

"No. Please don't. It's dangerous enough as it is." He remains for a few more moments with his children, hugs them tight until he's calm enough to move again. His leg twinges. "Stay here while I go. I'll do my best."

"We believe in you," Syaoran says, holding his hand. "Be safe, Fai."

"You guys be safe, as well." He kisses them both on the visor, zips his uniform back up, and heads out of the server room, his palms slick with sweat.

It takes him all of moments to walk down the corridor to Ashura's office. Fai glimpses black hair and a lab coat rounding a corner, walking away, and his stomach constricts. He barely missed bumping into Kurogane, and he should have dallied longer. But there's no use standing outside Ashura's office, so he scans his ID, and heads in.

Chii smiles up at him. She's snapping folders shut and throwing colorful sticky notes into her bin, hardly looking at her computer. "Your boyfriend just left."

He doesn't feel any better, hearing that. "You're not staying any longer?"

"Nope! The Commander said I can go. He's not having any more meetings after yours tonight."

"Okay. Right." Fai gulps, knocks on the next set of double doors.

Ashura looks very, very tired when the doors open. Fai winces. His godfather looks up, though, and manages a smile. "Fai. I have been expecting you."

Fai doesn't bother with formalities, this time. He makes it across the office somehow, sinks into a chair at Ashura's desk, tucks his hands into his lap. The denim of his jeans don't absorb the dampness from his palms very well. "Kurogane was here to see you?"

"He told me his suspicions that you possess some AI systems, yes." Ashura leans back into his seat, rubs a hand across his face. "How long has this been going on, Fai?"

There isn't any use trying to lie to him, not at this point, so Fai doesn't. "Three years," he admits. "Since, since the accident."

Ashura sighs. "That's a very long time."

"It is. I'm sorry."

"I assume that no incidents have occurred since their conception."

"There have been none." Fai stares at the woven steel pencil holder to the side of Ashura's phone, and the back of the photo frame that sits by his screen. "I've been doing well with them, actually."

"Have you noticed any signs of rebellion in them?"

Fai shakes his head. "When they get to their teenage years, perhaps. I probably won't feed them those books, though. That is, if you'll allow them to live."

Ashura leans forward at this point, his expression growing soft. "Why this, Fai? You are aware of the consequences, should you be caught. We, as a people, are no longer accepting of AI systems."

"I know that. I just... I can't. I can't have droids that don't talk back to me." When Ashura nods for him to continue, he mumbles, "The, the accident. It was, it was bad. I wasn't familiar enough with engine mechanics and I needed a second opinion. The droid couldn't give me that. Robots can't think."

"You've never mentioned that." Ashura's eyes are sad and dark, and Fai looks back down. "Why didn't you?"

He shrugs. "By the time I recovered, my duties were reshuffled. I figured... since I'm spending time alone on missions anyway, it wouldn't matter."

Ashura stands and reaches over the desk, setting a firm palm on his shoulder. "You could have told me your difficulties. I could have written a clause out for you."

"The thing is, I don't want to receive more special treatment than I have," Fai blurts before he can regret it. Ashura's touch is comforting, though, and grounding. "The people on the Station hate me for it. I don't want to give them more cause to do so."

His godfather frowns. "It's within my power to prevent that. You should inform me whenever that happens."

He winces. "I'm aware that you want me to. But you're the Commander of the Station. It's better for people to hate me, than it is for them to hate you. We don't need an actual human revolution."

"But you are my son." Ashura gives his shoulder another squeeze, and sits back in his seat. "You should not have to suffer the consequences of my decisions. It's high time the Station knows how we're related."

He shakes his head vigorously. "No! If they find out about what I can do and how I'm related to you, they're only going to distrust you more. We cannot risk that."

Ashura sighs. "I did not choose to be Commander. It is a regret that I do not have enough time to spend with you, but I'm glad that I was able to bring you along when we left Earth."

Fai shrugs awkwardly. He should have stayed on Earth, and be wiped out with the rest of the population. "So... what about the, the AIs? Are you going to, well."

"Tell me about them."

Fai does. He tells Ashura about Sakura and her penchant for humor, about her love of animals and fish and plants on the Farm. He tells him about Syaoran and his love of books, about his poetry and thirst for architecture and history and his fondness for Sakura.

"You made them fall in love?" Ashura asks, the corner of his mouth twitching up.

He smiles hesitantly back. "I didn't want them to be lonely when I'm busy with things, so I thought it'd be really cute if they liked each other. I think they've started holding hands. They've started talking about being prince and princess."

"That's not what I expected of your AI systems."

"I was rather rusty when I created them. It had been a while."

"They seem to be doing well, however. I'm pleased with that."

Fai stares. "You are?"

Ashura smiles at him then, pride in his gaze. "You've always had a deep understanding of your creations, Fai. I trust that you won't lead them down the same path others have done."

"I won't." Fai squirms in his chair. "So when Kurogane told you about my AIs..."

"I was disappointed that someone was aware of them. There is no solid evidence of them yet—that will serve to aid you if a dispute comes up. I have had to grant him access to search your quarters and your ship, however." Ashura meets his eyes apologetically. "You're welcome to seek shelter in one of my rooms in the meantime."

Fai shakes his head. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

"Anytime, my dear child."

"Thanks for not telling anyone," he says after a pause.

Ashura reaches over for his hands, and pats them. "Everyone deserves second chances."

"This has to be my tenth."

"Perhaps. But I am biased towards you, of course."

They sit together in silence, and Fai realizes that he's calmed down. He relaxes into his seat, finally makes himself comfortable. None of this is resolved, though. Not the rust infiltrating the droids, not the threat that Kurogane still poses towards his children. He stretches his arm out for the photo frame that sits further away, on the other side of Ashura's screen.

There are two boys in the photo, both blond, both blue-eyed, both smiling, one in a green shirt, the other in blue. Like the photos in Fai's room, this one is yellowed, too, but he still remembers the heat of the summer sun on grass like it's yesterday.

What isn't visible in the photo are the tattoos on their legs, fully-healed by that point, and covered up in jeans. Ashura had been vaguely disapproving when he discovered what they'd done, really only because they had not told him about it earlier, showing up at breakfast the next day in shorts with the sides of their legs bandaged.

"I miss him as well," Ashura says, watching him. Fai traces a thumb over the smilier boy in the picture, his chest aching. Yuui had died of illness years after this shot, a quick thing that had taken him in the course of a week. In his feverish state, he hadn't remembered anyone except Fai, in the end.

Fai replaces the photo frame, his throat tight.

Ashura waits for him to speak. When he finally does, Fai blows out a deep breath. "I took one of the data tapes you created, that had videos of Yuui and me on them. I copied the data to the server, cut some tape out, and inserted that into Syaoran and Sakura's memory drives. The data there serves as the seed for random number and event generation, which affects their decision tree. So... It really means that there's a part of Yuui and I in my AI units. They're, quite literally, my children."

Ashura's eyes light up. "That is a novel modification. I am very impressed."

Fai cracks a smile. "You should meet them sometime, you know. They're very endearing."

"I'm sure they are." After a while, Ashura sobers up. "Speaking of the droids, I'm sure you've heard of the reports from the Droid Unit, as well as from Disposal."

He grimaces. "Yes, I have. What do you plan on doing with the Station's droids?"

"Right now, it seems that the only viable option would be to melt the droids down, and re-manufacture their parts from scratch."

"That... involves a very high energy requirement."

"It is. I have been thinking about sending equipment and droids to the green pea galaxy—three of the planets there have high atmospheric oxygen readings. We will install temporary furnaces there to melt droid parts into their component metals. When the Station is cleared of rust, we will bring the metals back for re-manufacturing."

"I'll go," Fai says immediately. "I'm familiar with the GPGs."

"And I will be sending a droid crew with you. However, there is still the matter of your AI systems—Syaoran and Sakura. Can you move their programs somewhere onto a server, while their bodies are being rebuilt?"

Fai's breath catches in his throat. "The... the data tape. It's welded to their memory drives, I'm not sure if I can remove that without damage to their systems."

Ashura's mouth thins. "You will have to find a way to, Fai. All of the droids have to be re-manufactured to minimize the risks to the Station."

"I, I will," he says, heart sinking, not meaning it at all.

"Very well. Touya has mentioned that the rust originates from the sample you brought back. The very same as the one containing 5% EEA."

Fai winces. He looks at the silvery pen in Ashura's hands, bows his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate that it would be the cause of all these issues. I should have looked more closely at the bio-scan readings."

"We will have to move on instead of lingering on what has happened," Ashura answers. "I am sorry to say that we're unable to use this sample, Fai. What I can do is to waive your second EEA penalty—"

"Please don't. I will take full responsibility for it."

His godfather looks at him for a long moment. "I don't want the Station's rules to work against you. It pains me that you're in this situation."

Fai straightens his shoulders. "I will manage it somehow. Don't worry about me, Ashura."

Ashura purses his mouth. "Very well."

"How is Disposal handling the situation?"

"They are managing. There is some rust on the interior walls, but we have been cutting out infected parts and isolating them. The current estimate on the rust growth is 4-6 weeks."

Fai glances down at his hands, queasy. "I'll do my best to rectify the situation. If you need my help, please inform me."

"I will do so. In the meantime, shall we have dinner?"

Fai realizes that he's hungry, so he nods. They stand from the desk, and he casts a last look at the photos on his godfather's desk, before following him through a side door into his private quarters, to await dinner from the canteens.

x

* * *

x

Kurogane doesn't find anything in Fai's quarters.

The first time he visits, he riffles through Fai's desk drawers and closet, but there are only tools and clothes and a box of patches, and not much else. He finds data tapes, too, that he plays on Fai's computer, only to realize that they are videos of Fai and his brother, things that are more family than artificial intelligence, that he has no business prying into.

He isn't able to access Fai's Station account on his computer. Instead, he looks around at his belongings—an assortment of colorful rocks of all shapes and sizes, lining up the back shelf of his desk. Photo frames, with pictures of himself, his brother, and Ashura, and Fai and his droids. A data tape, with black tape neatly severed and left out to dangle. Old, old word search books, and books on cybernetic engineering. The tiny droid figurines he made, proudly on display right beneath Fai's computer screen. Looking at them fills him with a sort of bitterness, now.

Behind the rock collection, there is a plaque, words etched on a copper plate.

 _Employee of the Year_  
 _Fai D. Fluorite_  
 _Artificial Intelligence Development_  
 _Piffle Tech_  
 _2494_

Kurogane stares. He picks up the plaque, turns it around, but there is just flat wood backing behind it, and nothing else.

Fai was the best at AI development in a company. Not just any company, but the one right at the forefront of technology in 2494. Kurogane had heard of it, even when he was only 11 at that time. His family had a number of electronics in the house by Piffle Tech. His mom swore by their rice cooker. How many of the AIs in the revolution came from Piffle? There were countless. Yet, Fai has not tried to hide the award. Kurogane had just not been looking closely enough, and _damn_ is he an idiot.

He swears at himself, drops the plaque on the table. If he shows this to the rest of the staff, they'll all hate Fai, and maybe they'll believe Kurogane, now. But Kurogane doesn't have actual proof of the AI units.

And Fai— Maybe he deserves to face the consequences of his actions, but Fai's just been doing stupid things lately. Betraying Kurogane. He doesn't need the rest of the staff hating him. Kurogane can't do that to him, even if this leaves a bad taste down his throat. This is between the two of them.

Kurogane leaves the plaque on the desk, scans the rest of the room. There is really nothing here, and the bed is so narrow that he wonders how Fai sleeps on it without falling off. (Fai doesn't move a lot in his sleep.) He shouldn't be thinking about Fai.

The smell of the janitors' closets isn't as strong in this room. It smells like deodorant and machine oil, like a bit of old sweat and human.

He's still angry with Fai. He is.

Kurogane turns and leaves the room, and doesn't look back.

x  
x

The second time Kurogane visits Fai's quarters is the very next day, and the room is just as he left it. Fai hasn't returned.

x  
x

He finds Fai the day after that. When Kurogane scans his ID and the door slides open, Fai is on his bed. He looks up from lifting his thigh casing away, face growing pale at the sight of Kurogane.

Kurogane watches as he gulps, sets the thigh casing down between his bare legs. He doesn't want to think about the metal parts, or the dragon tattoo, so he keeps his eyes fixed on Fai's. "I've been looking for you."

"There's nothing to see here." Fai looks back down at his leg, shines a flashlight into his thigh cavity. Kurogane follows his eyes. No rust. He still looks beautiful in the drabness of his quarters.

Kurogane doesn't want to think that. He steps into the room, and the door shuts them in. "I'm here for your AIs."

"There are no AIs." Blue eyes lodge firmly on the interior of his leg, and Fai pokes around his wires with a screwdriver. After a while, he opens up his knee.

"You can't lie to me, idiot. You're hiding them." Vaguely, he wonders why Fai is still here instead of flying out on another mission, but he doesn't ask. It's not his business. "AIs aren't allowed on the Station. They're a threat to everyone."

Fai sighs. He closes up his knee, sets to work on his calf. He doesn't look up. "Do you feel threatened, Kurogane? None of us are allowed weapons. Disposal is dealing with holes on the inner walls. We're more likely to suffocate than be attacked by an imaginary threat."

"It's not an imaginary threat," he snaps. He wants to shake the damn idiot. "There's AIs on the damn Station, and you know it!"

Fai screws his calf casing back on. He pulls his pants halfway up, replaces his thigh casing, and the way he looks back at Kurogane is hesitant, melancholy. "You saw my history with Piffle, and yet you're still doubting what I say about AI systems?"

"Most of the AIs in the revolution were from Piffle."

"Because most of the AIs were made by Piffle."

"So you contributed to the revolution, and now you're going to sink the Station—"

"I am not," Fai says, sharply. "Do I seem the type? Most of the AIs were already built before I joined Piffle Tech. For fuck's sake."

"There's still the ones on the Station—"

"Have you not been listening? AIs are sentient. You treat them the way you want to be treated. If you teach them not to kill, they will not kill! Damn it."

"They're just robots, they won't understand! They will start to murder people, sooner or later. Just you wait—"

"Why don't you wait, then? See if anyone on this Station actually gets murdered?" Fai's glaring at him, now, throwing tools back into his desk drawers and slamming them shut. "You'll be waiting a long time, just so you know. Someone else will murder me first."

The idiot slips out of his room before Kurogane can grab his shoulders and shake him, and Kurogane hurries out, striding fast to catch up. He decides that if Fai won't let slip any clues, then he will follow the idiot however long he takes.

Except Fai leads him through the corridor to the Commander's office, and it's full of droids, enough to make him tense.

"What if I were to say that all these aren't just droids?" Fai murmurs.

Next to him, Kurogane glares, his stomach constricting.

But Fai doesn't. He goes to the Droid Unit, and the hangars, and sees to preparations for a preliminary droid exodus. It explains why he's still on the Station. Kurogane wonders if Ashura's giving him this mission on purpose, whether Ashura knows what Fai can do with all these droids.

In the end, he leaves to talk to Ashura, and Ashura isn't much help at all, either. He says that Fai volunteered for the mission. Fai will take the droids to a green pea galaxy and melt them all down to destroy all traces of rust.

Kurogane gets a bad feeling from this, but he still doesn't have proof of any AIs yet, and Ashura spreads his hands open.

"I trust that Fai will do his job well," Ashura tells him.

Kurogane isn't so sure he will.

x

* * *

x

Fai sinks onto the tiled floor of the data server room, folding his arms over his knees. His limbs are aching, his leg is itching, and his neck hurts from how he's been sleeping curled up on the floor the past two nights.

"I saw you with Kurogane earlier," Syaoran says, flashing a single spot of yellow. "Neither of you were happy."

"He's been following me." Fai sighs, burying his face in his forearms. "I'm so tired of everything. The rust, the droids. The mission preparations have been such a pain."

He has been trying to get the staff from Production to help with loading equipment onto a ship far larger than the Sparrow, so he can fly it to one of Ashura's planets, but few have been willing to help. Fai had to drag some of the equipment onto the ship by himself, very nearly spraining his muscles trying to do so, and the staff turned a blind eye on him while he heaved and pushed.

Kurogane, of course, chose the worst moments to appear and disappear, and Fai could have used some of his brute strength with the dismantled furnace pieces.

"He doesn't still like you, does he?" Sakura asks. She sets an arm down on his shoulders, pats him lightly.

Fai shakes his head. "Doubtful. He's just— really angry with me. I think he probably hates me now, but he's trying to use me to track you guys down. As it is, I shouldn't even be here."

"But where will you sleep?"

"I'll... I'll probably return to my quarters. It's not as though he's found anything there." The people on the Station have, surprisingly, not begun pointing fingers at him yet. Maybe Kurogane's waiting for the perfect time to expose his stint at Piffle.

Fai heaves a sigh, counts to twenty, and rocks himself onto his feet. When the droid mission begins, he'll have some time to rest in peace, and to figure how he can keep his children intact without destroying them completely. Until then, he just has to sneak them on board The Nova, avoid Kurogane, and stay out of everyone's way.

He isn't really thinking when he trudges up to the door and hits the unlocking switch, children following some paces behind.

Except the door opens to Kurogane storming down the corridor, and he looks first at Fai, then at the droids in the room. Fai takes a subconscious step back. Kurogane's bounding forward suddenly, and he panics, tries to find a way to close the door faster, but the door edges shut like a dinosaur, and Fai's heart leaps to his throat.

"You," Kurogane snarls, stepping through the threshold of the server room. The door shuts and locks, and there's ice in Fai's chest. Kurogane grabs his collar in a fist, and Fai sees Syaoran step forward, flashing yellow.

"Wolfie," Fai yelps. It's a code to put Syaoran on immediate standby, and Syaoran freezes, dead to the world. Red eyes snap onto him, glittering and triumphant, and Fai realizes it was a mistake. His stomach drops.

He plants both hands on Kurogane's chest, shoves him backwards, turns his head so Kurogane can't see him looking pointedly at Sakura, then at the door. Kurogane pushes forward, grabs his shoulders to throw him off, and Fai stumbles, darting back to tackle Kurogane by the waist. Kurogane's ready for him, though. He takes Fai by the shoulders again, steers him aside, and Fai waits a second for his attention to return to the children, before bending down low and ramming his entire weight into Kurogane's side to force him further into the room.

Heart thudding, he gasps, "MokoScript, activate!"

Syaoran flashes blue. From the corner of his eye, Fai sees Sakura grab his hand. They race for the door, and Kurogane roars against him. Fai grits his teeth, clings onto Kurogane's waist when he tries to fling him aside, shoves his leg in front of Kurogane's feet when he starts forward. Kurogane doesn't trip. It doesn't slow him down, and there's not enough time for the children to get to the door.

Fai rears up, slaps a hand across Kurogane's eyes.

"Get the fuck off me, damn it!" Kurogane snarls, batting his hand off. Fai wraps his legs around Kurogane's, wincing when Kurogane kicks at him in his attempt to get at the children, but it helps, when his arms go around Kurogane's thighs and his legs close in around Kurogane's feet, and Kurogane trips, falling onto him so his knee slams into his chest.

Fai hits the floor with a low groan, all the air knocked out of his lungs. He feels his ribs creak beneath Kurogane's weight, and for a moment, he thinks he will be crushed like that. It would be good to die quick.

Kurogane rolls off from him and onto his feet, and Fai panics again, scrambles up to grab at his legs. The children are at the door, now, waiting for it to open, and Kurogane's so close to them that Fai can't breathe, can only duck in front of Kurogane, throwing himself between Kurogane and his children.

"The hell are you doing," Kurogane growls, his eyes flashing red, his biceps bulging, fists clenched.

"They are my children," Fai hisses, glaring. "These are not murderers. I will not let you hurt them."

"The fuck you aren't." Kurogane lunges forward, fist swinging up, and Fai barely ducks, enough for it to graze the side of his head.

"Fai!" Syaoran yelps.

"Go!"

Fai throws himself at Kurogane, grabbing at his face, smacking his palms over his eyes, and Kurogane knocks his hands off, shoves him aside. He charges again at Kurogane's legs, hugs his calves so Kurogane can't move without tripping, and Kurogane's arms swing wide, almost catching Sakura by the head.

But the door slides open, the children step through, disappearing around the doorjamb, and Fai holds on tight, long enough for Kurogane to punch his head again. This time, Fai lets him. Pain explodes in the side of his skull, and he releases Kurogane's legs, his vision winking.

"Damn you," Kurogane snaps from somewhere above. "They're gonna wreck havoc on the Station now, you idiot! We're gonna die!"

Fai cracks a weak smile. The tightness in his chest has eased, and he's triumphant, now, pulse racing, proud of his children for making it out alive. "Tell me that tomorrow."

"There isn't gonna be a tomorrow!"

"Yes, there is. You don't know these guys."

Kurogane hauls him up by his collar, now, snarls inches away from his face. "How the fuck are they your kids, damn it? How low can you get, fucking around with them? Making hellspawn like that?"

Fai grins up at him, not worried, not anymore. Kurogane can kill him here, and it wouldn't matter. He has succeeded. "You've slept with me, Kurogane. You know what kind of trash I am."

And maybe it should matter, but Fai is past caring, now. He doesn't have anything else to lose.

"I shouldn't have," Kurogane mutters, flinging him aside, his eyes glimmering with disgust.

Fai looks away and smiles. It hurts, and he will only allow Kurogane to see him smile. "You have been an idiot. I warned you."

Kurogane straightens, towers over him. For a moment, Fai expects a kick in his stomach, but he only turns away.

At the server room door, Kurogane pauses, looking back, his eyes dark. "I expected better of you."

He steps out then, and the door closes, leaving Fai alone in the room with the single working droid, a grey duster in its hands.

It's surprisingly quiet now, after what just transpired. It shouldn't be this peaceful in here. Something should be on fire, and there should be more wreckage around than this. Instead, all there is is Fai, alone on the floor, aching in places, with the server towers whirring to his side. He laughs to himself, mirthless. "Everyone expects better of me," he mutters. "It's not just you."

x  
x

There are many things Fai regrets, like not spending more time with Yuui before his death, not taking more pictures with him, not trying harder to keep him safe. He regrets leaving Earth with Ashura, regrets not building himself an AI before the accident, regrets agreeing to work on the faulty engine, when no one else would do it.

Right now, he's regretting the things he said to Kurogane in the server room last night.

He waves the tiny fleet of ten droids along the corridors to the hangar. "Droid group 1, board The Nova in Hangar 12."

The group marches along, five rows of two, and Fai steps aside to let them move ahead of him. After this, there will be another group of ten, and he'll take this first batch of droids out to the green pea galaxy to do the meltdowns.

If he never created his children, would Kurogane accept him for who he is? He would, wouldn't he? He has his children now, though. Children who will care for him no matter what. Children who will not judge him for the things he creates, and the things he needs.

Fai breathes out, jams his hands in his pockets, and follows his droids, the reverse of a mother duck leading her ducklings. It's early; he doesn't expect there to be any interference when he leaves on this mission in two hours. Ashura has already signed off on it, and his things are packed.

The corridors are white, as usual, and Fai looks at his feet, at the whiteness of the droids in front of him, at how he stands out against all this lack of color with his uniform. He's tired of the Station, he realizes. He wants a home, a house with his children and a garden and large windows they can sit in front of, chatting about people and science and make-believe worlds. He wants...

Someone rounds a corridor up ahead, and Fai doesn't look up, not at first. It's only when the person doesn't seem to move closer, that he refocuses his vision, and—

His heart still misses a beat, even now, and Fai looks away from the brown of Kurogane's skin, from the black of his hair, the dark splotches of color that he makes in the white of the corridor. Kurogane's holding a ceramic mug of something. Coffee, Fai realizes, and he knows the exact words to tease with, but holds them behind his teeth. He follows his droids.

They march ever closer, and Kurogane still doesn't move, just stands in the corridor, looking at the group of droids and Fai, and Fai silently thanks the two on the third row because they must know what he's feeling, right now. They march along with the rest of the droids, not a step out of place, and the distance between them and Kurogane shortens with every second.

He doesn't react when the first of the droids walk by. Fai looks at the flat railings against the walls, at the way Kurogane's fingers tighten around his mug, and unsticks his lips.

"These are not the droids you're looking for," he says quietly, and the words are ice between them, a splintering divide. He doesn't meet red eyes, does not look to see the way Kurogane reacts. "Move along, now."

Except Kurogane doesn't move, and Fai brushes by him, head bowed, an open pit of regret in his chest.

He still has his children, but they may not be enough, in the end.


	8. The Right Direction

**The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 8: The Right Direction**

The preparations are complete. 22 of the Station's droids are on board The Nova, 20 to be taken apart when they make a landing on Planet TC0098. There, oxygen harvesting will begin as usual, and Fai will have the droids help roll the furnace parts out onto the planet's surface, before he dismantles the majority of them.

Fai, himself, is tucked into his pilot's seat, face in his hands, shoulders hunched. "I don't want to come back," he mutters into his palms. "There's no point coming back."

His sensors all log signs of despair, and Syaoran despairs along with his father. "Why not?" he asks. "You need oxygen to survive."

"There's plenty of oxygen in the GPG. I don't— Everyone on the Station hates me."

"There's Ashura," Syaoran points out.

"I'm just a liability to Ashura, at this point." Fai's voice cracks. "When Kurogane exposes my history, people will know he's my godfather. I don't want the entire Station to revolt against him, just because of me. I'm not worth it."

"What will happen to us if we stay on TC0098?"

"We'll get by, I guess."

Syaoran runs a quick calculation of their current inventory. The results are dismal, and it triggers a nervous response. He flashes yellow. "There's enough food for you for a week. Not more than that."

"I'll have you guys with me. There's plenty of electricity on the ship for all of us."

"The electricity isn't enough to keep your human parts alive!"

Fai shrugs. "I don't know. I don't want to care, anymore."

"You need to be brave, Fai!" More warnings flicker in his system. Syaoran looks around for Sakura, but she's at the back of the ship, checking on the furnace parts. "Ashura still needs you!"

"Ashura can take care of Chii. She's like a daughter to him, anyway."

Fai wants to die, and he must not.

On MokoScript, obeying Fai's instructions is the first priority. Making Fai happy is the second. Making Sakura and himself happy is the third. Syaoran has learned enough, by now, to change some of this. He inserts a new line as his top priority: Keep Fai alive.

"I will be back soon," he tells Fai. Fai doesn't acknowledge him, and he slips out of his seat, feet thumping onto the floor.

Syaoran finds Sakura looking at the furnace parts, her camera swiveling to capture the detail on each piece. He walks into her periphery so she senses him, and extends his data jack from his finger. She turns her back to him, dips her head to expose the data port at the back of her neck. He establishes a connection with her.

On their black chat interface, text prints in bright yellow, a rapid-fire discussion that is over in a minute.

 **Syaoran:** Fai is not well. He does not want to return to the Station.  
 **Sakura:** [alarm] Why not?  
 **Syaoran:** [alarm] He says everyone in the Station hates him.  
 **Sakura:** Ashura?  
 **Syaoran:** I reminded him. He says he is a liability to Ashura. He does not want to return to the Station. [transferring video feed]  
 **Sakura:** 7 days is not enough!  
 **Syaoran:** I know that.  
 **Sakura:** What do we do?  
 **Syaoran:** I overwrote my priorities. 1st priority: Keep Fai alive. 2nd priority: Obey Fai. 3rd priority: Make Fai happy. 4th priority: Make Sakura happy. 3  
 **Sakura:** 3 Will you overwrite my priorities to that, as well?  
 **Syaoran:** [overwriting... overwriting complete] Your priorities are modified, flower princess.  
 **Sakura:** Thank you!  
 **Syaoran:** What do we do?  
 **Sakura:** I will get help.  
 **Syaoran:** The Station is not a safe place!  
 **Sakura:** 1st priority: Keep Fai alive. I will be safe.  
 **Syaoran:** What will you do?  
 **Sakura:** I will convince those who care about Fai to save him.  
 **Syaoran:** Kurogane?  
 **Sakura:** I think Kurogane still cares.  
 **Syaoran:** How do you know?  
 **Sakura:** I saw him when we walked by. I think he misses Fai. [transferring image capture]  
 **Syaoran:** Kurogane hates us! But he was looking at Fai instead of us.  
 **Sakura:** See? I will make him listen.  
 **Syaoran:** How? [concern] He is dangerous.  
 **Sakura:** He is human. There is a high probability that he will set aside his grudges to rescue Fai.  
 **Syaoran:** Please be careful.  
 **Sakura:** I will. 3 Tell Fai I'm leaving The Nova for supplies, as late as you can. I will follow you on the Sparrow.  
 **Syaoran:** I will. Be safe.  
 **Sakura:** Take care of Fai!  
 **Syaoran:** I will. Take care of yourself!  
 **Sakura:** 3  
 **Syaoran:** 3

The connection ends there. When the data port is disconnected, Sakura turns around, flashes two spots of red at Syaoran. He flashes the same as her, for fondness, and watches as she pads down The Nova's ramp, back into the hangar.

He looks up at the furnace parts that Sakura was scanning, begins to scan them himself, and downloads furnace manuals from the Station's data servers. Fai will be needing this, later on.

x

* * *

To: Youou Kurogane (ykurogane )  
From: Sakura Fite (sfite )  
14 Jun 2509, 08:13:45  
Subject: Re: Farm

I'm sorry - I was transferred out of the Farm not too long ago. I had not changed my email footer at that time.

My other half wrote a poem for our Dad, but Dad hasn't been up to reading poems lately. I thought I'd share it with you. Isn't it beautiful?

Hanging over our heads  
Those we remember by their laughs  
Patter of feet on sunshine grass  
Smiles, helping hands, lessons to share

Now only a memory  
Close to our hearts, still  
Always a space for them  
In our remembrance

Shame on us  
If we forget those who have gone  
But shame on us, more  
If we forsake the future they have left

Regards,  
Sakura  
Data recording assistant  
Communications Department

* * *

x

Kurogane receives the email from Yuki, and he's furious, raging, fists clenched and ready to smash a hole in his screen. First the AIs, and now Sakura.

He doesn't destroy his computer. He needs it for things, but he will put his fist through those AIs. He will.

x  
x

He frowns down at the beaker of deionized water in his hand, blue glove distorted through the water's surface. The samples are far from done—there are more to do, always more, these days, and Touya is gone. He threw his hands in the air and left for dinner with Yuki, screw the samples for a few hours.

It's not wrong of him to. They need sustenance to keep this up for as long as they have, but Kurogane is not hungry. There is one person who would stay in the lab with him after hours to prepare reagent after reagent, and he knows why Fai was so desperate, now. The Eng. Dept. would have demanded to see his droids. Kurogane didn't, more fool him.

He still doesn't know what to think of Fai, but the shock has worn down, and so has the blinding fury. The station has not exploded. There are no reports of medical emergencies. He wants to know why Fai did that. Why he felt he needed to create AIs, things that are so capable of murdering people at a moment's notice. Is it the Station? The people who tormented him? Does he have plans for those units, other than making them send him stupid emails?

The email this morning did not sit right with him. He checked, right after, and there is a Sakura Fite on the system, but a quick email to Yuki proved that no such human worked on the Farm. Which means that Sakura is one of Fai's AI units, and precisely why he could not find her there.

Everything else corresponds. Her dad liking men, her dad uncomfortable with talk about sex, her dad distracted with someone else (him), her dad's dislike of tofu, her dad's refusal to reveal his fucking name.

Some of the emails are ironic, Kurogane realizes now. But the most recent is a slap in the face, and he does not appreciate it.

The lab doors slide open. He looks up, ready to snap at Touya for actually coming back to work early, for once, but all he sees is a droid stepping in. Kurogane narrows his eyes. There are no droids scheduled to work in the lab currently—they had given theirs up to be re-manufactured.

The doors close, and the droid walks further into the lab, head swiveling, as though looking for something. It stops a few meters away from his bench.

"Kurogane," it says, and the voice is warm, bright, female. Not a droid. "It's Fai. I need your help."

Hot anger wells in his gut. He bares his teeth, flicks the hand holding the beaker of water. The water spills out in a graceful arc, splashing all across the benches, the shelves, the AI unit, the floor, and Kurogane doesn't care if it triggers a reaction with the rust, right now. He's had enough of Fai's crap.

"Tell him to fuck off," he snarls, rounding the bench to capture the AI unit. "Not a good joke."

"This isn't a joke," the female voice says again. Two spots of yellow flash on the dark visor. "Please listen. Fai's not coming back."

"The hell do you mean by that?"

But the unit stops talking when spots of rust on the benches begin to swell. Kurogane slows his feet, watching with a sick fascination as tiny specks of black on the droid's body casing grow, spreading out into full-blown circles, merging into each other, brown-black covering every surface.

The same thing happens on the bench top, on the bench sides and the metallic apparatus that Fai has had to sand off, and disgust winds through his stomach. They have not tried dilute solutions on the rust for this reason—solutions below a certain concentration tends to speed up the rusting process on steel samples, and no one wants to deal with the rust growing out of control.

But it is now, here, and Kurogane has a moment to regret when black creeps along the steel surfaces, growing larger and more ominous by the second.

Then, just as quickly as it spread, the rust begins to flake off, leaving darkened metal behind. Patches of black peel away from the vertical surfaces, crumbling to the floor like black snow. Kurogane stares.

"Kurogane?" the droid says.

He glances over, heart pounding, torn between dealing with the AI unit and trying to determine if he's just exacerbated the problem, or solved it. "Stay right there," he says, turning on his heels to scrape samples from his bench.

"But Fai—"

"He can fucking wait, damn it."

"Fai's not coming back."

He looks back at the droid. "The fuck he's not coming back."

It flashes two spots of yellow. "Syaoran and I— we think he wants to kill himself."

It's enough to turn his blood cold. Kurogane knows a bit about how much he hates himself, but this... "Why the fuck does he want to kill himself. Is this some stupid threat?"

The droid flashes red. "No. He doesn't know that you know this. I left the ship to tell you."

He studies the AI unit, but there's nothing on it to indicate if it's telling falsehoods. "Why should I trust you on this?"

"I have a video clip of Fai saying all this himself. Do you want to see it?"

He's scared, suddenly. Fai can't kill himself. He can't lose Fai, not like this. Kurogane's hands tremble, and he looks at the rust, and the droid still standing in front of him. "Is he still on the Station?"

"He left this morning."

He swears. "The hell did you wait until now to say something, damn it?"

"I could not enter the lab when there were two of you here. I needed you to listen to what I have to say. Touya would not have allowed me to."

And she's right. Kurogane sets the beaker down so hard it cracks. "How do I shake some sense into his stupid head?"

"Fai's?"

He snorts, then, because both Fai and Touya are stupid. "Yeah. Him."

"I'll fly you to him. But we have to tell Ashura about both Fai and the rust, first."

He starts for her, but pauses at the sight of the black powder on the steel bench top. "Can the idiot wait 5 minutes?"

"We have a week. That's when Fai's food runs out."

Kurogane swallows. Fear creeps up his throat, again, and he looks back at the rust, tries to focus. "Right. Give me five minutes. I'll get this done, look at the clip, then we'll see the Commander."

She flashes green, continues to stand where she is, and Kurogane scrapes some powder onto a microscope slide. He prepares more droid parts, drips water over them, labels their petri dish lids with quick strokes of a marker, and flips the microscope switch on.

The rust particles are much larger than before, still brown-black, but they're not in any specific configuration, now. They look like broken animal cells, almost, and a check on a submerged rusty part shows no signs of further growth. Kurogane swears.

"It's water, damn it! All this time we've been searching, and the solution is water. Fuck."

He tears his gloves off, pulls his phone out of his pocket, and dials Touya. A great many rings go by. Touya finally answers, breathless. Kurogane rolls his eyes.

"The hell do you want? I'm on my dinner break!"

"I found the answer. It's pure water." Kurogane cradles the phone between his ear and shoulder, drips water onto a fresh, rusted droid part, and watches as the same process repeats itself. The rust blooms brown-black, the fastest he's ever seen it go, and just as soon falls off the metal surface, scattering at the bottom of the beaker like powdery snow.

"You're shitting me. Water? Are you kidding?"

"No, and listen. I'm only gonna say this once. I have to leave." Kurogane steps away from the microscope, thinking quickly. "You know how the rust grows quick when we use weak solutions on it? This shit spreads like a demon when you add water. Then it disintegrates and falls off."

Across the line, Touya is silent. "You have to be kidding."

"Not kidding. My guess is that we're killing it with a hypertonic solution. Osmosis. When a cell with thin walls absorbs too much water, it bursts."

"So none of the other reagents worked? Just this? By adding water?"

"Looks like it, yeah."

"Damn it. I stayed 'til midnight the other day."

Kurogane snorts. He doesn't need to mention the months he and Fai have been puzzling over this, but it makes sense, now, that the outside of Fai's leg would be completely untouched by the rust. "Anyway, I'm headed out. Come down and verify this."

"Yeah, fine. Be down in ten."

The line goes dead, and Kurogane shoves his phone back into his pocket. When he glances up, the droid is still watching him, so he rinses his hands off, grabs a pen and paper from his desk, and tabulates the results he's got so far. Then, he tries for diplomacy. He needs to get to Fai. "You're Sakura?"

She flashes green. "You figured it out?"

"Tch. Can't believe I didn't see it earlier. Your last name is a condensation of his." Kurogane signs the results off, slaps it onto a corner of the bench, and jerks his chin to his desk. "Can you get there without spreading the shit everywhere?"

"I'll try. That wasn't very nice of you."

He doesn't answer her, instead picking his way to the desk and sitting down heavily in his chair. When Sakura treads over, leaving a trail of black-specked footprints behind her, he nods tightly towards the data port on his computer. It still doesn't feel right to be this close to an AI unit, and his pulse is racing, his hair standing on end. Kurogane swallows.

Sakura inserts her data jack into his computer. For a brief moment, Kurogane considers running a program to disable her, but he needs to know where Fai is, and he needs this connection to get to Fai. (It would be _so easy_ to kill this thing right now.)

A video player opens on his screen. It's grainy, colors muted, and Fai's curled up in the pilot's seat of a huge ship, his hair a blond mess. From the running timestamp in the corner, this happened this morning.

"I don't want to come back," Fai mumbles onscreen, his voice tinny. "There's no point coming back."

Kurogane watches. He hasn't seen Fai like that in a while, since... since his leg. The voice speaking to Fai isn't Sakura's—it's the lower pitch of a boy, the very same one that he heard in the server room, and Kurogane acknowledges that there are two AIs: Sakura and her other half, Syaoran.

"When Kurogane exposes my history, people will know he's my godfather. I don't want the entire Station to revolt against him, just because of me. I'm not worth it."

"I'm not going to fucking do that, damn you," Kurogane mutters, glaring at Fai.

Sakura pauses the video. "You aren't?"

"No. It's not their business." He scowls. "Keep playing. We have five minutes before the other idiot gets here."

The rest of the video doesn't go well. For a while, Kurogane wonders if this is some CGI that Fai's AIs have created, but he knows Fai, and he knows that shutting himself away is a very real thing Fai is willing to do. Fai doesn't care about himself very much at all. He sounded so ready to die in the video, and Kurogane's stomach is a little hard lump in his middle.

When the video freezes at the end, Sakura pulls her data jack away, and the video player closes. Her lights are still yellow. "Do you believe me now?"

As unwilling as he is to admit it, "Yeah. Did you tell him about the rust solution?"

"I sent him an email. I'm not sure if he's read it yet."

Kurogane sighs, locks his computer, and gets to his feet. He nods towards the corner of the lab. "Head over there."

"Why?"

"I'm not having you spread the rust everywhere. Get under the shower."

Sakura plods forward, a tiny frame in front of him, and Kurogane thinks, again, how easy it'd be to kill her. She is an AI unit. She's part of what caused the revolution, part of what killed his family, and there is anger roiling in his stomach, a need to destroy her before she kills anyone. Like Fai.

"Why'd he make you?" he asks, when she's halfway across the lab.

"Because Fai was lonely. No one on the Station likes him."

Kurogane has nothing to say to that. He's seen it with his own eyes, the way people treat him, and it makes him sick. "He did that? When AIs will turn around and destroy him?"

Sakura turns, flashes two spots of red at him. "I am not a murderer, Kurogane. I will not kill you. Or anyone, unless they threaten Fai."

"Hundreds of thousands of people died in the revolution," he mutters, teeth gritted.

"We are beings with a consciousness. We will do what is right to us, like you will do what is right to you. Syaoran and I were created to keep Fai company. He is a father to us. We will not kill our father."

"You will kill me, then."

"Not unless you threaten Fai. My first priority is to keep Fai alive."

He frowns at that. "He made that your first priority? To keep him alive?"

"No." Sakura turns back to continue towards the shower. "I changed my priorities so Fai's life is most important."

Kurogane swallows. He should be reacting to that, to AIs changing the priorities their creators gave them. But this unit values Fai's life, and it's a goal similar to his own. Keeping Fai alive. Fai is out there, needing a knock on his head. Kurogane needs to bring him back. He has a week. Six days, by now. "What's your second priority?"

"Obey Fai. Third priority: Make Fai happy. Fai will not be happy if we kill someone."

Sakura stops beneath the shower, and Kurogane pulls on the triangular lever to activate the shower stream. Water sprays from above, tinkling loudly on her metallic casing, and Kurogane watches as little spots of black on her joints and casing grow and bloom and fall off, washing into the shower drain in the corner.

"Fai was really nervous when you were here," she says, more quietly. "In the shower. He was also very aroused. He says his brain shrivels when he's aroused."

Kurogane snorts. "He tells you everything?"

She flashes green. "He's liked you for a long time."

"Could've said he has a couple of AIs for kids."

"He knew it was going to come between you, in the end."

Sakura steps out of the shower, dripping water, and Kurogane sighs, pulls a towel out of the counter nearby so she doesn't wet the entire lab. He pats her down, skin prickling when she watches him through her camera, and it's fucking ironic, how he's cleaning an AI unit right now. Fai's AI unit.

"We're going to the Commander's office," he says.

They bump into Touya at the lab doors with Yuki, but Kurogane doesn't say a word, merely nods toward the interior of the lab. Touya rolls his eyes.

The passage to Ashura's office is quiet. There are staff and droids both along the corridor, but no one questions the droid by his side, and they make it into the waiting room with no interference. The blonde receptionist looks curiously over at them. She doesn't do more than smile, however, so Kurogane ignores her.

When they finally step into Ashura's office, Kurogane waits for the doors to shut behind them. Ashura's eyes dart between himself and the droid, and his brow is creased. "How can I help you, Kurogane?"

"This is Fluorite's AI unit. She says he's not coming back to the Station."

Ashura's eyes widen. He looks to Sakura for confirmation, and she flashes yellow. "I'm afraid he's right," she says. "I hoped to meet you under more pleasant circumstances, Grandpa. Can I call you Grandpa? My name is Sakura."

For a moment, Ashura looks as though he's torn between smiling and pulling a long face. He pushes away from his desk, and Kurogane stares as he rounds the side of his desk, coming over to crouch in front of Sakura. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sakura," he says softly, smiling. "Thank you for keeping Fai company all this time. Syaoran, as well. But why do you say that Fai is not returning? He's due back in four days."

"You know about them?" Kurogane asks, incredulous.

"Only after you informed me about them, I'm afraid." Ashura smiles up at him, wry. "Now, Sakura, what is this about Fai?"

It's vaguely unfair that both Sakura and Ashura are on Fai's side, but Kurogane supposes that they are his family, strange though it is, and their biases will carry.

"Fai is sad and he doesn't want to come back," Sakura repeats.

"There isn't enough sustenance on The Nova for that." Ashura peers at her, his mouth pressed thin. "He is aware of that, isn't he?"

The droid flashes green. "He is. He wants to stay there forever."

It's enough to make Kurogane's stomach lurch. "He's not fucking staying there, that idiot. I won't let him die."

Ashura pales. With his complexion, he looks ghostly, now. "What happened to make him want that?"

Sakura swivels her head to look at Kurogane, and Kurogane knows, all of a sudden. "Kurogane doesn't accept us, and by association, Fai himself. Fai is very sad about all this."

Ashura glances at him, and back at Sakura. He breathes out. "I think we should all take a seat."

"I should be flying out to bring that idiot back." Kurogane bristles. "I don't have time for this."

"Syaoran is with Fai, correct?" Ashura looks at Sakura, who flashes green. "And he will continue to keep Fai safe?" More green. "Then we have a few minutes to talk."

He retreats to his desk, but Kurogane remains standing. "I don't see the point of it."

"Very well." Ashura looks towards the droid. "What do you think is the best solution for this, Sakura?"

"You trust her opinion on this?"

The look Ashura gives him is unyielding. "I trust Fai's programming, Kurogane. I have known him for several years, and I have seen his creations. I trust him with my life."

Kurogane has nothing to say to that, either.

"Sakura?"

The droid flashes green. "The best solution is one that paves a way for the future, where humans and AIs can coexist in harmony. At least, that's what Fai taught us. We agree with him."

Ashura smiles. "Good. Sakura, you will be in charge of this mission. Bring Fai back."

Sakura flashes two spots of green. "Yes, sir!"

"The hell?" Kurogane looks between the droid and his Commander, indignant. "She's just an AI!"

"She is also Fai's daughter." Ashura lowers himself into his chair, looks up at him, fingers laced. "How are you related to Fai, Kurogane? Are you as desperate to bring him back?"

He doesn't have an answer to either question. "I don't know how desperate she is."

"But you know the desperation to save family."

Kurogane nods stiffly. He doesn't need to think about that, right now.

"Then you will understand why Sakura is the best person to lead this." Before he can protest, Ashura adds, "Both of you are dismissed. Sakura, take The Voyager. Leave whenever you're ready."

"I promise I'll bring him back," Sakura says.

"About the rust," Kurogane blurts. "I solved it. The solution is to submerge it in water."

Ashura raises both eyebrows. "Water. Really?"

"Yeah. It swells and bursts. I believe due to too much water absorption. The other guy's in the lab confirming that right now."

"Thank you for the update." The Commander nods at him. "If water is the solution, I believe we can recall Fai earlier from his mission."

Kurogane nods back. Sakura waves at Ashura and turns, holding out a hand to Kurogane. "Let's go!"

He eyes her hand, does not take it. Instead, he follows Sakura out of the Commander's office, still slighted, angry, helpless, and none of it is a good feeling. When they reach the hangars, and Sakura opens the doors without needing his ID, Kurogane frowns.

"Why the hell are you in charge?" he mutters.

"Because neither Ashura nor I know what you feel about Fai. Syaoran and I have been with Fai through the past three years, Kurogane. Do you think Ashura would trust us more, or you?"

He wants to hiss that things like that aren't a matter of how long someone's spent with someone else, but Sakura has a point. Up until half an hour ago, he wasn't sure what he felt about Fai, either. "You, I guess."

He follows her up the ramp of The Voyager, glances back when it closes behind them. Sakura is already in the cockpit, lights on, data jack plugged into the console. The cockpit is full of lights and switches, but the switches move by themselves as she initiates the takeoff procedure. "Welcome to the Sparrow, Kurogane! Only frumpy old people like Ashura call it The Voyager."

He doesn't answer, so she keeps talking. "I took the liberty of getting us supplies during the day. There are clothes for you and Fai here, plus a spacesuit for you. And plenty of food. Did the kitchen agree to your request for tofu?"

He snorts, buckling himself into the seat next to her. "They don't know how to make it."

"Oh. Well, Fai will be happy to make it for you, I think, but you'll have to ask nicely."

He doesn't even know what he'd say to Fai, right now, other than calling him an idiot and demanding he return to the Station. Stranger yet is how he's sitting next to an actual AI system, allowing her to be in charge of the flight and mission. Everything about this is wrong.

"Are you gonna get us lost in space?"

"No," she answers, tone brimming with displeasure. "I'm the one piloting the ship most of the time. I stay here while Syaoran talks Fai to sleep."

"Does the other AI know how to pilot ships?"

"I'm rolling my eyes at you, Kurogane. Yes, all droids know how to pilot ships."

"Just checking. In case the idiot overwrote your piloting manuals."

"Fai doesn't do that!" She flashes two spots of red at him. "Fai is the best at programming."

"Could've told me that when we first started dating."

"Were you boyfriends?" Sakura turns to look at him, and the ship is alive around them, engines humming as they wait for the hangar to evacuate.

Kurogane shrugs. "I guess."

"Fai didn't think so. He said you never talked about it."

"Not like he talked about it, either."

"He was really happy when he was with you, you know." Sakura guides them out of the Station, into the black of space, and it takes his eyes a while to adjust to the pinpricks of brightness in the cockpit window. "He was so excited when he showed us the figurines you made of us, but I guess you regret doing that, now."

Kurogane doesn't know. If he closes his eyes, talking to Sakura feels like he's talking to a normal human girl, even if it's still wrong. He shouldn't be talking to AIs. He should be killing them.

"One of the first things Fai taught us was to respect all life. He taught us about the revolution, too."

"He did?" Kurogane cracks his eyes open, looks sidelong at her. She's sitting stiffly in her seat, leaning forward so her finger can connect with the data port.

"He did. AIs have feelings. Maybe not at first, when we are first created, but we learn them as we go, building our libraries of knowledge and emotions."

"Not as though you can actually feel."

"I can!" She flashes two spots of red at him. "I feel with my processor and decision tree. Fai says he has a piece of tape with videos of himself and Uncle Yuui in Syaoran and me. We feel and make decisions with that."

Kurogane remembers the severed data tape in Fai's room, and the videos he didn't mean to see. "When did he die? The idiot's brother?"

"About 9 years ago. He was sick."

"So they both experienced the revolution."

Sakura flashes red. "No. Ashura brought them both to France. They lived in a village for a long time, and Uncle Yuui had a restaurant there. Fai said Uncle Yuui taught him how to cook."

He remembers an old conversation, about Fai cooking for a living. Fai does not want to be a cook, and he realizes why, now.

Kurogane sighs, tips his head back into his seat. Funny how he's still learning about Fai, when the idiot's in another galaxy and they're not even on speaking terms.

"If you want to sleep, there's bunks in the back. There's sleeping pills if you need them."

"No, thanks. I rather stay here."

"To watch over me?" Sakura flashes one spot of red. "I can do my job perfectly fine."

He snorts. "Yeah. To watch over you."

They fall into silence for a while, and Kurogane shifts to make himself comfortable in his seat. He pushes the seat backwards, stretches out his legs, and reclines his backrest.

"You're in Fai's seat, actually," Sakura says. "He watches the stars with us here when we do the GPG missions. It's a whole lot of doing nothing."

"Huh." Kurogane has never thought about it before, not really. He wouldn't have expected Fai to stargaze with his droids, but once he thinks it, he can't imagine anything else more fitting for the idiot to do. "That how he gets the sunburn?"

"Yeah. Syaoran makes him apply sunblock, but he's not very good with it. We usually have to add aloe gel afterwards."

"Tch. He can't even take care of himself." But it makes him remember the time he tended to Fai's bruises, and he can imagine the droids clustered around Fai, poking at his face with their stubby fingers. Kurogane cracks a smile.

"Fai said, in another lifetime, I would be a human girl with green eyes and ginger hair." Sakura flashes a spot of red when he looks over. "Green eyes means courage."

"What kind of crap has he been feeding you."

Her available hand swivels up and down. "He also said brown eyes are for sincerity, but he never talked about blue eyes, or red eyes. What do you think they mean?"

"No idea."

"I think blue eyes are for cleverness, and red eyes are for grumpiness."

"I'm not grumpy, damn it."

"Everyone says you are. Even the other people on the Station."

"How do you even know that."

"I heard them talking about you!" Sakura flashes red again. "Don't you listen?"

"No. None of my business." Kurogane stretches his arms out, pops his joints. "But blue isn't for intelligence. Your dad is an idiot."

"He's not! He created Syaoran and me!" Two spots of red, now.

"He can't even take care of himself."

"But geniuses are like that, aren't they? Einstein looked like a mess."

Kurogane rolls his eyes. "He might be good at one thing, but he's still an idiot."

"If you offend him, you offend me, Kurogane."

"That's your choice if you want to be offended."

They sit in silence for a long stretch. Kurogane looks at the distant spots of stars, then the buttons on the console, and looks around for something he can do.

"Do you sit and stare at things when you fly?"

"We have playlists. Do you want to listen to the one you gave him?"

There are too many memories linked to Hikari+, now, so Kurogane shakes his head. "Something else."

Sakura brings up another playlist, and for a full hour, they sit without talking, listening to a whole different era of songs. Sakura flashes lights of random colors, and Kurogane follows the lyrics and the catchy beats, thinks about Fai singing along to these.

He's never asked Fai for his favorite songs, he realizes. A lot of what Fai does is join in on the things _he_ likes, and he doesn't talk about himself where he can. Fai doesn't like himself very much—Kurogane knows this well, by now.

He should have done more, he thinks.

"So if he's got you and the other AI, he's not lonely anymore?"

Sakura flashes yellow. She turns the volume on the music down, and waits for a few moments before she speaks. "He's still lonely," she murmurs. "He misses you now."

"Oh." Something twinges in his chest, something like satisfaction and something like guilt.

"Do you miss him?"

They had something real, before things went south. Kurogane knows this, and he would be lying if he says he doesn't want to return to those days. "Yeah," he says. "But he's still an idiot."

"You are both idiots," she answers.

"Tch. What's with the colors on your visor?"

"They show my emotions. Red is for playfulness or for anger, or sometimes determination or love. Green is for agreement. Yellow is for distress. Blue is for when MokoScript activates."

"MokoScript, deactivate," Kurogane says.

Sakura flashes green, multiple times. "It doesn't work like that!"

He scowls "How's it work, then?"

"You'd have to be Fai, or Uncle Yuui for that to work. Voice recognition."

"I thought as much."

"Fai says you're funny. I think he's right."

"Damn you."

She flashes red at him. A wink? "So," Sakura says, "about that poem I sent earlier. What do you think about it?"

He glances at her, can't read her blank face, and looks back at the stars. "You talking about the poem, or me and the idiot?"

"You and Fai, of course."

"I'll think about it."

"You aren't... getting back together?" Sakura flashes yellow.

Kurogane shrugs. "He lost my trust."

"Fai didn't have much of a choice. He created us first."

"Still doesn't mean he can fucking hide things from me!" He glares, clenches his fists. "He knows I hate AIs, and everything else still happened anyway."

"When I began emailing you, we hoped it would help you realize that not all AIs are bad." Sakura flashes yellow again. "That wasn't a joke, either."

"You still tricked me, anyway."

"We thought it was for the best, that you learned about AIs, because... Well, because Fai wants you as part of his family, too."

Kurogane doesn't know how to respond to that, but it makes the heat in his chest calm, a little. "I thought he knew that AIs would come between us."

"He did. But he's allowed to hope, isn't he?" She flashes yellow. "So we tried."

He swallows.

"Do you still hate me, Kurogane?"

His first, instinctive response is a _yes._ But he thinks about the things that have happened today, the things this AI unit have said to him. "I... don't know."

"I think Fai would be happy to hear that," Sakura says, flashing green. "It's a step in the right direction."

At first, he had thought this all an elaborate trick by Fai, to humiliate him. Then, Fai had walked out, snarled at him in the server room, and it wasn't a trick anymore, only betrayal. Now... Now, Kurogane understands a little better.

"This doesn't mean I forgive all the AIs," he allows.

"We're not asking for that. All we really want is for you to see that we're people as well, Syaoran and I. We are what Fai taught us to be."

Kurogane closes his eyes, pictures in his head a girl with green eyes and ginger hair. She looks nice, he thinks. Wispy flyaway hair like Fai's, and warm green eyes.

"I don't hate you," he says. "What's the right direction?"

Sakura flashes two spots of green at him. "This is the right direction."


	9. Remember

**A/N:** _Final chapter!_

* * *

 **The Stars We Live By**

 **Chapter 9: Remember**

The surface of Planet TC0098 is dry and rocky, vast, empty but for grey hills and grey rocks and grey craters in the ground. Fai trudges along, drags his feet against the gravitational pull that's one of the worst he's come across. He feels three times as heavy on this planet, three times as clumsy, and the furnace parts had been hell to drag out of The Nova.

Next to him, Syaoran flashes green. "We have new mail."

"We do?" Fai glances over, sighs. "I'm not sure I want to read it."

"It's about the rust! Sakura says water is the solution." More green. "If we flood the rust spots with water, they'll grow until they explode."

Fai's first reaction is relief, incredulity, that months of research have ended up with this. _Water._ Who would have thought, when they tried so hard to keep solutions concentrated in their tests? "I'm glad to hear that! We'll— Wait. How did she find that out? Sakura's not supposed to come into contact with water unless she's supervised."

He looks at Syaoran, suddenly nervous, and Syaoran flashes green again. "She happened to be in the lab."

"In the lab?" Fai squawks. "With Kurogane?"

"She's fine! She's out of the lab now."

"Where's Kurogane?" Fai stops walking, turns to look Syaoran full-on. "Please don't tell me Kurogane found her."

Syaoran's hands swivel up and down. "She didn't say."

Fai winces, heart fluttering. "Oh, Sakura."

"She really is fine! She says sorry for no picture or video, but she's sending us a lot of hearts."

"I'm... I'm glad to hear that." Fai picks his feet up, keeps on trudging to the ship. Text is the only way they can communicate with when in space, with how tiny text files are. Images and videos, however, are far heavier, and not practical to transmit over great distances. "Keep me updated. Tell her I'm worried about her."

"Sakura says not to worry."

He sighs. "I'm still worried."

Syaoran reaches up to hold his hand. Together, they make their way slowly back to The Nova, leaving behind the unassembled parts of the furnaces on dusty ground. Once inside, atmospheric dust jetted off their bodies, Fai unclasps his helmet, shrugs out of his suit so he can take Syaoran to the shower.

The interior of The Nova is far more spacious than that of the Sparrow. Where the Sparrow is long and narrow, The Nova is wide enough to fit a house, cavernous, perhaps half the size of the Farm. Unlike the Sparrow, however, The Nova comes with more facilities—a bathroom with a shower, actual beds, and a tiny kitchenette for cooking.

They walk past the rows of deactivated droids, freshly cleaned of dust. The droids had been instrumental in helping to move the furnace parts out, and now— "If water is the solution to the rust, does that mean these guys can be sent back intact? We've moved the furnace parts out for nothing?"

Syaoran flashes green. "Ashura just sent us an email. He says the mission is cancelled, and we are to return to the Station."

Fai groans. "I don't want to go back."

"We can't stay here forever, Fai! There's not enough food to keep you alive!" Syaoran flashes yellow.

"You said Sakura's coming with supplies, right? Will that be enough? Or is the Sparrow not allowed to leave the Station?"

"The Sparrow is coming." Syaoran flashes two spots of green. "She'll be here in some hours."

"I'm glad." Fai ushers his son into the shower, has him stand in the middle of the cramped, white cubicle.

"Sakura says it looks very bad when it grows. I can do this myself, Fai. You don't have to look."

He gulps, palms prickling with sweat, heart kicking. "I, I have to do this. We have to make sure all the rust is gone, Syaoran."

"Okay. We'll start with a bit of water," Syaoran says. "We should not be jetting the rust particles off."

"Right." Fai pulls the shower head off, turns the water on to a low, and aims the weak spray at a corner of the stall. "Is this enough?"

Syaoran flashes green, and Fai sucks in a deep breath, points the spray first at his feet. Little spots of black begin to grow where they shouldn't have been—Syaoran's feet and leg casings were replaced, but there are spots there, nevertheless, brown-black and growing as big as his thumbnail, then his palm, and Fai feels his head spin.

He lurches forward—Syaoran steps back to make space for him—and heaves, emptying the miserable amount of food he managed to swallow from before.

Syaoran reaches for the shower head in his hand, angles it so it continues spraying at his feet, and Fai gasps for breath, heaves again when he sees the spread of ominous black from the corner of his eye.

"I can't do this," he mumbles, sick of the rust, sick of himself, weak and trembling, hands on the sill of the shower stall. It reminds him too much of Yuui's last moments, and that's not a good place to go, not ever.

Syaoran takes the shower head from his hands. "I will do this, Fai. You do not have to watch."

"But your circuits! You can't have water going in the wrong way." He spits the taste from his mouth, tries to take the shower head back, and Syaoran turns his back on him. "Syaoran!"

Bits of rust begin to flake off. Fai forces himself to look, nauseous, as black falls away in sheets, leaving spots of darker metal behind. It washes onto the floor of the shower, following the stream of water and vomit down into the drain, and he sinks onto the floor, his limbs useless.

"See, it's fine," Syaoran says. "Sakura is all washed off as well."

"What— Who washed her off? Did she do it herself?" Fai panics again, heart in his throat, fingers digging into his leg.

"Sakura went to Ashura and told him about the rust."

"Oh." He sags back to the floor, wraps his arms around himself. "Tell, tell me if you need help with the shower."

"Okay."

He tries not to look, and Syaoran aims the spray at himself, holding it there for a minute, before moving on to the next spot. Fai shields his eyes, watches as spots of black slide off Syaoran's grey-white casing, swirling around and through the dark, perforated drain cover.

When Syaoran reaches his chest plate and can't go any higher, Fai takes the shower head back from him. He can't let Syaoran struggle with this. What sort of a father would he be? "I'm going to spray straight down on you, okay? Tell me if I should stop spraying, or change my angle. I'm going to close my eyes."

"Okay."

It's a handful of minutes before they're done. He hears Syaoran stepping around, forward and back, to change the target of the spray. When Syaoran tells him it's over, Fai cracks his eyes open, heart sinking at the grey of Syaoran's casing. "It's all gone, now?"

"We'll have to check the interior at some point," Syaoran answers, stepping back so Fai can rinse out the rest of the shower floor, and his mouth. "What about your leg?"

"I'll... do that later," Fai says. "Maybe the other droids first."

"The Nova doesn't have enough water to wash all 20 of them. They can wait for us to take them back to the Station."

He replaces the shower head back in its holder, shuts the water off. Syaoran looks at him, waiting for an answer, and he turns, grabbing a towel from the closet across the bathroom. "When Sakura arrives with the Sparrow, could one of you send the droids back to the Station? I, I'll tell Ashura I'm resigning, or something."

Syaoran flashes yellow. "There's nowhere for you to go! You can't resign."

"Staying here is as good as resigning, isn't it?" Fai wraps the towel around Syaoran, pats him dry. "They won't miss me back on the Station."

"Sakura and I will miss you!" Yellow again.

"I'll be here with you," Fai says. "How long will the Sparrow's supplies last?"

"Two weeks or so. Sakura couldn't take a lot from the kitchens."

"Then we have three weeks. That's enough, isn't it?" He pulls the towel away from Syaoran when he's dry, sets it on the white bathroom counter, and straightens. "Do you want to watch a movie? I think there's a TV on board The Nova. It's very luxurious, isn't it?"

"I want to talk to you, Fai." Syaoran trails behind him as he makes his way through the white of The Nova's interior, past the other motionless droids, to the wide cockpit. "Lots of people will miss you. Please go back to the Station."

He sighs. "You and Sakura will have memories of me. Is that enough?"

"Are your memories of Uncle Yuui enough?"

Fai swallows, hard. "Can we not talk about this?"

"We have to," Syaoran says behind him. "You're forgetting the things you taught us."

He slows his footsteps, then, and turns to crouch in front of Syaoran. "Am I? What am I forgetting?"

"That family is the most important." Syaoran flashes two spots of red. "Whatever anyone else says, our words matter the most. We will be lifted by the words of the ones we love, and we should not let the words of others affect us."

Fai rocks back on his feet, sits heavily on the ridged steel of the cockpit floor. He remembers that. "What about Kurogane? Where does he fall into this?"

"Do Sakura and I not matter?" Yellow. "We are your family, first and foremost."

"You are." Fai winces. "I have not forgotten that, Syaoran. It's just... It hurts."

"You made it out after Uncle Yuui left." Syaoran comes to sit beside him, the cool touch of metal a kiss against his hand. "You got better."

Fai had not been in a good place after Yuui died. It involved years of pointless sex and throwaway relationships to forget himself, and it had worked in a weird, twisted sort of way. He doesn't have the option of that, anymore. "I don't know how to get better now," he admits. "I shouldn't have got involved with Kurogane in the first place."

He drops his face into his arms, and breathes out.

"Sakura and I think Kurogane is good for you," Syaoran says gently.

"Really."

"You made a friend and you got out and did things. You were happy."

"It was nice while it lasted."

"He doesn't see you as lacking."

"I hid things from him," Fai sighs. "I will not compromise on your safety. You know that. I think he knows that now, too."

"What if he learns not to hate us?"

"It hasn't worked, has it?" Fai winds fingers into his hair and tugs. "I just— Everyone's better off without me."

"No! They are not." Syaoran gets to his feet, wraps his stubby arms around Fai. "You are important. They are just not seeing it."

"I'm not even a person anymore."

"You're a person as much as Sakura and I are! You've forgotten this too, Fai. Please remember." Syaoran makes a little, unidentifiable noise, and Fai looks up at him, confused. "We all have feelings. We find joy in some things, and we will get hurt by others. We will make mistakes, and we will do things to make others proud."

Fai remembers. He cracks a tiny smile, leans his head against Syaoran's. In a voice barely above a whisper, he recites with his son, "We are human because we can feel, because we want to do good by the world. We have people we care about, and people who care about us. We will feel anger and pain, and joy and sadness, and we will continue to live on, and do good. These are the stars we live by, and the stars that will hold us through."

"Do you remember, now?" Syaoran asks, quiet and warm.

Fai's smile grows a little more steady. He pulls his arms away from his knees, wraps them around his son. "Yeah. Thank you."

"Will you return to the Station?"

"I'll think about it," Fai answers. "I promise."

Syaoran flashes two spots of green.

x

* * *

x

"Hold on tight," Sakura says. "This landing will be rough."

"There's nothing to hold on to," Kurogane grumbles, frowning. Through the cockpit window, he sees a faint, wispy green around the ship, that has been there ever since they entered this galaxy. "I'm already strapped in!"

"That was a figure of speech." Sakura flashes green, multiple times, and Kurogane glares. "Or didn't you know?"

"Stop laughing at me, damn it."

"You and Fai are like children," Sakura says. More flashing green. "Always needing a guiding hand."

"Damn you. Damn him."

"Fai is still fine, just so you know. Syaoran talked him into thinking about going home."

Kurogane stares at her. "So you brought me out here for nothing?"

But the constant fear in his chest eases by a bit, and he relaxes into his seat, even when the Sparrow shudders around them, lights dim as the ship channels its energy towards its thrusters and stabilizers.

He doesn't know what he wants to say to Fai. He doesn't know if he wants to see Fai, or if Fai will want to see him. Fai lied to him, kept important secrets from him. He tried to attack the AIs that Fai considers family. They don't even have any sort of a relationship left, anymore. The lab is silent these days, his quarters empty, and Kurogane has lost both a lover and a friend. He did not expect it to hurt this much.

When they descend into the atmosphere of TC0098, Sakura apologizes. "Gravity is really strong here, so the landing will be really fast. I'll try my best to make it smooth."

Kurogane is too busy thinking about Fai to really care about the landing, except the sudden drops make his stomach swoop, and he grits his teeth, wondering if it really is a good idea to trust an AI with his life.

This goes on for long minutes, the unsteady descent, and Sakura talking. In the end, she plays his Hikari+ playlist, but it doesn't really help, when Kurogane begins to wonder if they'll crash before they even see Fai. But Fai doesn't pilot, which means _his_ ship made it down safely, and it's a thought he holds on to.

The actual landing is bumpy, slightly jarring, but it does not cause any injuries or bruises. Kurogane releases a slow breath, uncurls his tense fingers from his—Fai's—armrests.

"We made it!" Sakura exclaims, flashing green at him. "I'll establish a connection with The Nova, and you'll put on your space suit."

Kurogane unbuckles himself from the seat, gets up to stretch his legs. He's sore from sitting so many hours, but he did not trust Sakura enough to leave the cockpit. It's difficult to even stand. He feels heavy on this planet; his feet are reluctant to leave the floor of the ship, and he sees it in the way Sakura moves more slowly, trying to overcome the gravity of this planet.

He steps over to a concealed panel, slides the latches free to open up the clothing rack.

"Fuck!" Sakura says.

He turns, worry shooting up his spine. "What?"

"Nothing!" She waves at him. "Fai said I can use it in casual conversations."

He gapes at her, annoyed at his own reaction. "This is the sort of crap he teaches you?"

"Among other things!" She flashes a spot of red at him. "Do you want to know more?"

"No." Kurogane pulls off his lab coat, shoves it in the clothing rack, and steps into the spacesuit that Sakura said was for him. It fits well, and he zips it up, wanders to the back to look for a helmet.

"Fai, I'm here!" Sakura chirps.

"Sakura! I'm so glad to see you! Are you okay?"

Kurogane doesn't step back into the cockpit, doesn't lean over to look at what is probably Fai's face on the screen. He hears the relief in that familiar voice, and it makes his heart thump, makes his insides shrink. He still doesn't know if he wants to see Fai. His fingers curl around the lip of a fiberglass helmet. He doesn't know if Fai wants to see him. This seems like a bad idea, all of a sudden.

"I'm fine! The rust is gone from my exterior! I can't wait to show you."

"I've missed you so much. Do come over as soon as you can. I'm getting into my suit now. Meet you in 3?"

"Sure thing."

He knows that Fai is smiling. He can hear it in Fai's voice, and he shouldn't still want to see Fai's smile, but he does. Kurogane grits his teeth, shoves his helmet on.

"Before we go," Sakura says, sliding off her seat with two solid thumps.

Kurogane watches her, wary. "He knows I'm here?"

"No, he doesn't. I muted our mics. But before we go, I need to know. How do you feel about Fai?"

He stares down at her, wondering how much he should say. She is an AI, and she's allied with Fai, not him.

"Fai is very important to Syaoran and I. We don't like that you've hurt him, but we are also unable to prevent it."

Kurogane glares. "He hid things from me!"

"And you have threatened the ones he holds most dear. Fai's first loyalty is to Syaoran and I. That is why he held you back to let us escape from the server room."

"You're alone with me now. In a ship." Kurogane remembers Fai, teeth bared and fierce, the only time he ever saw Fai fighting for something. It stings that Fai's first loyalty is not to him, but Kurogane doesn't deserve it, not at this point.

"I brought you here because we truly believed that Fai would not be able to recover on his own." Sakura's hands swivel up, then down. "Do you still want to see him?"

He swallows. "Yeah."

"Will you promise not to hurt him?"

He looks at her, remembers the emails they've exchanged. This is still the same, and maybe he can believe that they truly have Fai's best interests at heart. "I'll try."

More softly, Sakura asks, "What does Fai mean to you?"

Kurogane sighs, looks away. "He's been a good friend, everything else considered."

She flashes green, then, and turns for the door. "Our radio frequency is 442.6. Please adjust it to that. I'll help you with the oxygen attachment if you need it."

They spend some time on his suit. Kurogane stops breathing, for a moment, when he hears Fai's voice in his ear.

"Sakura, what's taking you so long?"

"I'm coming," she sings, and the door to the air lock slides open.

The gusts from their landing have died down, and there are roughly fifty meters between the two ships. The Nova is vast next to the narrow length of the Sparrow, and between, on the grey, rocky ground that the ramp is extending out towards, Fai stands with another droid.

Their eyes lock. Kurogane hears the hitch of his breath. Fai's smile freezes on his face, slowly falling, and his eyes grow wide. He tears his gaze away, looks at the droid stepping up onto the ramp instead. "Sakura?" he says, strangled.

"I'm fine," she answers, spreading her arms out as she lumbers down the ramp. "I want a hug!"

Fai's not looking at him anymore. He crouches to wrap his arms around Sakura, eyes on the ground, and his voice is quiet, unsteady. "Sakura, what's going on?"

He tries to lift her up—to run, probably—and fails, and throws another glance up at Kurogane, but doesn't meet his eyes.

"I was worried about you," Sakura answers, her arms on Fai's shoulders. "We came to bring you back."

"I, um, I don't need help going back." Fai curls as much of himself as he can around Sakura, as though to protect her from Kurogane. "I, um."

"Syaoran said there's some cool things he wants to show me," Sakura answers, patting his shoulders. "Can I go?"

"Are you sure you're fine?" He pulls away from her to scan her greyish body, waddles to put himself between her and Kurogane. "Maybe you should stay in The Nova for a bit."

"Okay!"

Fai pats her on the back, watches as Sakura trots over to the other AI unit, and the two link hands, looking back at him. Syaoran flashes a spot of yellow, Sakura flashes green. Kurogane sees the irony in this, that he knows what those colors mean, now, and that they're running away from him, leaving him alone with Fai.

"What are you doing here?" Fai says quietly, still crouched on the ground, still not looking at him.

"Making sure you washed the rust off." Kurogane finally moves, walks down and off the ramp. "Did you?"

Fai shakes his head. "Not yet."

"Then get moving and wash it off."

Fai huffs, straightens up. He turns away from Kurogane, looks up at the Sparrow. "That's all you came to tell me? You shouldn't have left the Station, Kurogane."

Kurogane sighs, steps forward, snags Fai's arm. "C'mon. There's no shower on this ship."

"Are you bossing me around?" Fai's still not looking at him, but he's stepping towards the Sparrow, reaching down to push a hidden button on the ramp. A moment later, the ramp retracts, and the door to the air lock swings shut. Kurogane feels a breath of hope flutter in his chest.

"I'm making you wash out the rust, damn it." He catches Fai by the arm again when he stands, tugs him towards The Nova. "That thing better have a shower on it."

"It does."

It makes his breath catch, just hearing Fai's voice over the radio. He leads Fai across the distance between the ships, slower than he'd like because the gravity is a bitch to counter, and it's rougher yet when they head up The Nova's ramp.

By the time they get into the air lock, Fai is panting, and his cheeks are flushed. Kurogane clicks his tongue. They wait for the air lock to pressurize, then step into the belly of the ship itself. The interior of the ship takes him by surprise; it's gigantic, full of structural supports across the widest parts of the ship, and there are frozen droids and empty space, enough to host a smaller spacecraft. Like the Sparrow.

"Finally emerged from under your rock?" Fai glances sideways at him, not enough to meet his eyes, but he's still talking, and there's the faintest quirk on his mouth. He unlatches his helmet, pulls off his airtight suit. "There are ships larger than this on the Station."

"I know that," Kurogane says. He releases Fai to shed his own suit, and the air in here smells sterile like everywhere else—the Station, the Sparrow. It doesn't smell like the exhaust of train tunnels, or the damp of the earth after a rain.

"You came straight from the lab?"

"Tch. I had to wash your damn AI off, damn it."

At that, Fai turns to look at him, mouth falling open. He looks away just as quickly, and yells, "Syaoran, get back here, right now!"

Nothing on the ship moves, and Fai pulls a deep frown. "He said Ashura washed her off!"

Kurogane grins, a bit. "They were in cahoots over this."

Fai growls, threads a hand through his hair. "They aren't supposed to lie to me, damn it!"

"They're your kids. You taught them to lie."

Fai glances over at him again, and his throat works, but no words fall between them. At length, he says, "You're... okay with them? That I have AIs as children?"

"Tch." Kurogane looks away. "I guess they're okay. I still don't like AIs. And you're still not forgiven."

"Oh." Fai glances down, face growing pale. "I, I didn't expect Sakura to survive a trip with you. Thank you for not destroying her."

Kurogane glares. "She said you weren't coming back to the Station."

"I wasn't planning to, no." Fai winces, rubs at his arms.

"You're not dying on me, damn it!" Kurogane shakes him by the arm, and Fai yelps. "I'll murder you if you dare kill yourself."

"That doesn't make sense, but okay." Fai's mouth twitches again. It makes Kurogane's heart beat a little faster.

"Get to the shower, damn you," he says. "Stop wasting my time."

"You shouldn't even be here, if I'm wasting your time," Fai mutters. He does turn away, though, and begins walking toward the front of the ship.

"I came to make sure you didn't die, damn it."

Fai doesn't say anything. He stops by a tiny bathroom, one that has a mirror, a cabinet, and a shower stall, and Kurogane steps in with him.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you wash the rust off."

Fai grimaces, looks fixedly at the shower drain. "I, I can wash the rust off myself. And I need a screwdriver."

"I'll make sure you do it now." Kurogane shoves the one he brought along into Fai's palm, glares at him, and Fai sighs. He turns away, shrugs out of his shirt, then his pants, and Kurogane looks at his pale, tall frame, at the silvery scars on his skin. He remembers kissing all of them.

"How much of your leg can't touch water?"

"The connectors, mostly. I can drain it out through the side." Fai lowers himself onto the bathroom floor, back to Kurogane, and slowly unscrews his thigh casing. Kurogane takes the screws from him, hands him the shower head, and Fai grimaces. "I can't, I can't do this."

"The hell you can't do this."

"It's a lot worse than I expected. Oh, gods, Syaoran's rust was so bad." Fai's face is a pale green, now, and Kurogane understands.

"Tch. I'll do it."

Fai doesn't protest when he takes the shower head back. Kurogane turns the stream on low, tells him to shut his eyes, and carefully drips water down into his thigh casing, pressing down on his knee so the water leaves through the drainage outlet. He leans closer into Fai to get a better view of his thigh mechanisms, and Fai is a solid, thin weight against him, chest heaving shallowly, warm and alive.

Specks of rust grow, in hidden corners that would have been a pain to sand, and Kurogane watches the brown-black bloom and scatter, washing them out of Fai's wiring and down into the drain. Once, the water hits a connector, and Fai jerks against him, hissing.

"Sorry," Kurogane says. Fai grits his teeth.

From there, they move on to Fai's knee, then his calf, and his foot, and when that is done, Kurogane taps on his abdomen. He winces.

"Why are you even doing this?" Fai says, eyes downcast, almost inaudible.

"Because you aren't going to."

This close, Fai's back is pressed against his chest, and heat bleeds through their clothes. Fai smells like sour sweat, like human, and Kurogane wants to skim his nose along pale skin, but he doesn't.

"You really don't have to care," Fai protests, weakly.

"I care." Kurogane swallows and looks at him sidelong, and Fai bites his lip, fingers pressing against his human thigh.

In a small voice, "But you hate me, don't you?"

Kurogane sets the shower head down, shuts the water off, and turns Fai around on the shower floor. Fai curls his legs in front of himself. There's a large, purple bruise on the middle of his chest; Kurogane remembers it, remembers the server room, but he says nothing about it. That was something that was unavoidable, and they can only move forward, from here.

Fai doesn't look at him. Kurogane has to tip his chin up, all over again, so blue eyes fly up to his. He leans in then, kisses Fai softly, and Fai whimpers, opens up to him. It deepens when long fingers wind into his hair, when Fai's legs fall open and Kurogane crawls into the shower with him, hauling Fai up into his lap.

He loses track of how long they kiss, when Fai's hands are up his shirt, and his are stroking along Fai's thigh, pulling him closer, and Kurogane can't keep track of all the wet clothes on him, and they really need to come off.

"Ew," someone says behind them.

Kurogane pulls away with a gasp, looks over his shoulder. Fai pants against him, cheeks flushed, and he winces when he sees the droids by the open bathroom door.

"It's not sanitary to sit on the shower floor for so long," Syaoran says. "Especially on a common-use ship like The Nova."

"Ew," Sakura says again.

Fai groans, drops his face into Kurogane's shoulder. "I'm sure I did not program you guys to have timing like this."

He freezes against Kurogane, as though expecting to be shoved off, but Kurogane only pulls him closer. He doesn't want to let go of Fai anymore.

"Children don't like to see intimacy like that," Sakura answers, flashing a spot of red. "Get a room!"

"Is there a room?" Kurogane asks. He has priorities, and he knows very clearly what his are, right now. "With a bed?"

"Down the ship, on your left," Syaoran answers. "But please wash off the residual bacteria from the shower floor before you go."

Kurogane turns to the blond idiot in his lap. "What kind of kids do you have?"

"Very adorable ones," Fai says into his shoulder. "Thank you, Sakura, Syaoran. I'm sure you don't want to see the rest of this."

The droids disappear, and Kurogane drags Fai off from himself. "The last part." He taps on the silvery casing of Fai's abdomen, and Fai winces. "Hurry up."

"I thought we're washing the bacteria off."

"We're doing this first, you idiot."

"It won't be pretty, just so you know." Fai unscrews the casing of his abdomen, and Kurogane reaches behind them for the shower head, slowly drips water into the cavity. There is only one spot of rust, here, and Kurogane washes it out as Fai keeps his eyes squeezed shut, head turned to the side.

When they finally stand, shower head affixed to the wall, spraying down at them, Fai looks hesitantly back up at him. "You... really don't hate me?"

Kurogane rolls his eyes. "What does this look like? Idiot."

Fai shrugs jerkily. "I just... After all this, I don't know."

He hesitates, then, remembering the things he's done, and his stomach turns into a lump. "You don't know about me?"

"I... can forgive you for trying to attack them. I'm not sure what you think of me."

"Sorry." Kurogane wraps his arms around Fai, pulls him tight against himself, and Fai leans into him. The tension in his own body eases. "I forgive you. Just— No more lies."

Fai nods against his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that. I just... didn't think there was any way out of it."

"Tch. Your kids—Sakura. I think she did better than either of us."

Fai lifts his face to peer at him, eyes wide. "You, you really think so?"

He gives a brief nod. "She's not so bad."

Fai's smile turns tremulous, then, and he's tiptoeing, cupping Kurogane's face and kissing him, and Kurogane presses him into the wall, kissing right back.

They don't make it to the bedroom.

x

* * *

x

Much later, when they're dressed in fresh clothes and Fai's standing by the little kitchenette of The Nova, preparing rice and vegetables, the children join them.

"We haven't had a proper introduction," he says, looking between Kurogane, Syaoran and Sakura. "Children, this is Kurogane. He works at the General Processing Lab on the Station."

"I'm Sakura! I used to work at the Farm. Fai, can I go back to the Farm, now that Kurogane knows about us?"

Kurogane doesn't seem to have a reaction to that, so Fai nods. Sakura cheers. "Sure. I'll switch you back."

"I'm Syaoran. Um, I used to work in the Lab with you before Fai switched me out." Syaoran flashes yellow. Fai winces.

Kurogane studies them both, and finally shrugs. "Fine with me if you want to go back."

Syaoran flashes green, and Fai smiles. "I'll switch you back as well, Syaoran."

"How'd you even get into the Station's codes?" Kurogane frowns, folds his arms. "Surely someone noticed."

"We haven't introduced Fai yet!" Sakura protests, flashing red. She waves at him, first, then at Fai. "Don't be rude, Kurogane. This is Fai. He's our Dad!"

"He's a very good Dad," Syaoran adds.

"He's the kindest Dad!"

"He's the best Dad!"

"He's not bad," Kurogane concedes, and Fai feels heat creep up his face.

"Are you going to be our Dad too?" Sakura asks, and Fai has to turn back to the stove because he doesn't know how to answer that question. His ears are warm, though, and he can feel Kurogane's eyes on him.

"If it means he'll believe me and not try to kill himself again, yeah."

His pulse trips. He doesn't know what to think. "Isn't it kind of... too soon to talk about this?"

"Not to me," Kurogane says.

"Me neither," the children chorus.

When Fai doesn't respond, Kurogane leaves the table, comes to stand behind him, and maybe Fai should be wary at the way he sinks so easily into that chest.

"You're a dragon," Kurogane says in his ear, one hand dropping to his flesh-and-blood thigh, where the head of the dragon tattoo is. Fai's heart misses a beat. "Don't forget that."

"I'll try not to."

"Good."

He isn't even pretending to cook, by this point, so it doesn't really matter when Kurogane turns him around and kisses him on the mouth. Fai returns it with equal fervor, and the children flash green to the side.

Not everything is right with the world, but he has Kurogane again, now, and his children, and Fai is content to take things a step at a time. The rest of everything can wait.

 **END**

* * *

 **A/N:** If you enjoyed this fic, or squealed or screamed or pulled your hair out at any point, please do tell me! :D Concrit and reaction comments especially appreciated!

If you would like to rate this fic for the KuroFai Olympics, please head on to the kurofai dreamwidth! There will be fics posted every day this week, so keep an eye out for them! Voting ends (Fri) 26 Aug!

 **ALSO.** I have been writing some m/m smut for sale. For more information, either leave your contact details (FFN doesn't allow for emails to be left btw), or keep an eye on my kurofai tumblr for updates!


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